I was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2015 (IDC < 1cm, lumpectomy, 3 wks radiation, no chemo, 5 years of Arimidex, 2 biopsies since, no more cancer found), and I’ve had LOTS of mammograms. Yesterday I had my annual, and it was the most painful one I’ve ever had.
For those who don’t know, the technician puts each breast between a hard plastic tray and a metal shelf and cranks-cranks-cranks the two together until your breast is as flat as it is possible to get a live, round thing, and then they take an x-ray. This happens with each breast 2-3 times at slightly different angles. The picture below portrays the procedure as much more gentle than it really is. There’s lots of heaving and pushing and tugging and shifting of tissue to get it in exactly the right place for the best picture. Then the cranking of the two plates together – right out of the Spanish Inquisition.
IT. FUCKING. HURTS.
Every mammogram hurts some, but yesterday’s… Jesus Henry Christ! At one point I told her, “Don’t crank it down any more, I can’t take it!” and burst into tears. Have you ever slammed your hand in a door? Well, this is doing it in slow motion.
The technician showed me the screen and why she had to keep doing the left side over and over. I have a lot of markers and debris in that breast left over from the lumpectomy. (How did you THINK the surgeon was supposed to find that spot again that the radiologist located during the biopsy, hmmm?) I knew why she was doing it, and I swear she was in almost as much distress as I was (minus the physical pain, of course), and she kept apologizing for the torture. I WANTED her to get as much of my breast in the picture as possible. But holy fuck-- there has got to be a less painful, more humane way of doing this!
Why do the two surfaces have to be hard and flat? This is rounded, living tissue we’re squishing here. Why can’t there be a layer of foam or something with some “give” to it. Don’t tell me an x-ray can’t see through a couple of layers of foam.
Here comes a sexist statement (but probably true): “It is estimated that 48 million mammograms are performed each year in the United States.” Needless to say, these are virtually all on women.
If 48 million MEN every year underwent a procedure as painful as this (say, squishing their nuts between a hard piece of plastic and a hard piece of metal several times to get an x-ray), you can be g.d. sure some guy would invent a better, less painful way of getting the same information. Or at least a way of making the procedure less painful. Don’t bother jumping all over my face and asking why a woman hasn’t improved the procedure. I don’t fucking know, but someone needs to.
My left breast is sore and bruised today. It feels like I’ve been punched in my left side at the top of my rib cage.
My mammogram was all clear, and I’m grateful-- very grateful. I sweat this every year now since I got The Diagnosis back yonder. I’m NOT tempted to skip it, but there has got to be a way to make it less painful.