Tarkinmobile
Alderaanator
Don’t Make Me Come to Your System
Planetary Pulverizer
Imperial Overkill
The “One Hellava Bright Disco Ball”.
Of course, they’d need to glue mirrors onto it.
Mirrors!?
Why, that’s an outrage!
They’ll see it coming for parsecs!
Seeing it is functioning as intended. What are they gonna do, move the whole planet? Launch the entire planet in a mass evacuation in mere minutes? Fire proton torpedoes down a nearly unhittable shaft to exploit a weakness in the design? I think you overestimate their chances.
Wrecking Ball
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What’s wrong with just letting corporations buy the naming rights, like everything else that has a name?
The Sing Along With Tarkin Ball!
Remember, this is a civilization already accustom to seeing giant text floating through space.
I’m seeing a neon sign with letters several miles high:
TRUMP DEATH STAR
S.S. Kournikova, looks great, never wins.
Intergalactic New Year’s Eve Ball
Because next, the corporations will think they own the empire, like everything else.
Aka
Do you want a Trade War ?
Ceci n’est pas une lune?