Face it, the Evil Galactic Empire has an image problem, and could use some good P.R. So maybe naming the giant planet-killing space station the Death Star wasn’t the smartest move. What are some less frightening, more public-friendly names they could have gone with?
Happy Fun Ball
Giant Globe o’ Kittens
Baby’s Breath Star
Project Stardust. That’s what its designer called it.
Some more options:
Planet Recycler
Asteroid Builder
Gravity Reducer
Eclipse Preventer
Spacey McSpacestation
Hyperspace-Bypass Route-Clearance Vehicle
Defense Star
Star of Homeland Security
Star of Insufficient Life
Just a Moon
Star of the Guardians
Make the Empire Great Again
Freedom Star
Moment of Triumph
Strategic Defense Initiative
Rio, by Duran Duran
On that note, converting a planetoid-sized battle station into a hospital ship is an intriguing and hilarious story idea, to me.
King of the Cost Overruns
Accountants’ Nightmare
Another Damn Tax Increase
Who Paid For This, Anyway?
It Cost How Much?
The Free Lunch Star
It’s too big to cloak and funding it before it’s built is politically risky. No one will believe there is such a thing as the Free Lunch Star until it arrives in the target system and even then they will delay planetary defenses wile everyone is trying to decide what they want to order.
Love these, LOL!
The Clearview Project - proof of the incoming administration’s commitment to transparency.
Galactic Icebreaker - promotes efficiency in logistics by clearing transport routes.
Peacemaker - ends inter-species conflict by permanently addressing any problems the opposition may have.
From Lil’ Map:
Planet of Nothing
Kumbaya Star
Alderaan 2
Massive Majestic Mobile Mimas Mimic, or “MMMMM” for short.
Definitely Not a Moon
or
This is Not a Moon, This is a Space Station
Alternately:
Just a Harmless Moon, No Need to Worry
Carnival Planet Cruise
Strategic Defense Initiative.
Let’s see who gets that one.
Winner.