home-canned beetroot and kohlrabi
to his chest area
(his steamer trunk was
full of half-dead eels
and slightly fermented salmon)
The resulting mushroom cloud
of mutant fungal spores
rained down upon Hillsborough
, infecting local cows with
the uncontrollable urge to
sing “La Cucaracha” as
they died. Bystanders were
standing by, as they
are wont to do
except when Beyoncé is
shaking her money-maker at
Prince, who is wearing
another of his frilly
pirate shirts. Thanks, Seinfeld
, for the cookies! They