sex between consenting muskrats
offended the delicate sensibilities
of Polly Doolittle and
the other Sisters of
Perpetual Sadism, whose motto
was: "If it hurts
bite your tongue. If
it feels good, flog
away, ladies, flog away!"
The Mozambique president dutifully
assumed the default position,
an appalling sight but
much easier for the
viewing audience to enjoy.
After he was poked
in the eye with
Madonna’s severed index finger
the onlooking crowd said, "
Crucify him on a
Tuesday in August." Sadly