Hound was on stage
at Bonnaroo when suddenly
Matchbox Twenty invaded the
women’s restroom, and discovered
the dispensers were broken
and that the toilets
had opossums in them.
A charity was founded
for the orphaned ocelots
of Tanzania’s Phartuccio Valley,
run by pious nuns
rescued from brothels in
Fresno, where they specialized
in extracting the hidden
meaning of ancient texts.
The Codex Holofernes, written
on petrified cow chips
with a blue Sharpie,
had long absorbed their
bitter tears, shed for