Letter to the Teacher

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Wow. School has already started for you guys? Don’t you know it’s morally wrong to send kids to school before Labour Day?

Apparently not.

I am working today, and then I have Nine. Days. Off. A vacation! A real one! Yay!

Wedding hell was very Wedding hell. I hadn’t thought seriously about Other Quasi-Daughter’s neuroses before agreeing to all of this crap.

‘Does this make me look fat? Are you sure it doesn’t make me look fat? How about we completely change everything? Is it nice to be married? Should I be getting married? Maybe I shouldn’t get married.’

‘Shut up’, says I, ‘You have to get married. We already bought the damn fabric and you don’t look fat’.

She’s also the messiest person I’ve ever met. She’ll pull out something from her suitcase, walk two steps, and absentmindedly drop it on the floor. And leave it. She brought two hundred and fifty pounds of luggage. It looked like a clothing store exploded all over our apartment.

Bless Quasi-Daughter. She came over on Saturday to help us shop for a sari and a hip scarf, and then got Other Quasi-Daughter packed while reassuring her about marriage and the dress and the invitations. Then she tidied. I was at work. Bless her. I’m going to do something nice for her maybe tomorrow. Cake, or something.

I am exhausted.

In spite of all her weird quirks, Other Quasi-Daughter isn’t nearly as annoying as she sounds. She’s really very lovable, she’s just incapable of putting anything away, and getting married has made her more neurotic than usual.

22

What if the bear eats your face? Then what do you get? A hook nose?

He’s 9. Just started the third grade. So, ha! you’re wrong!

Well, you know that, and I know that, but I was trying to trick Ely.

23

Bear insurance? Doesn’t sound so odd to me.

My friends were awakened one night by a bear trying to get through the skylight of their semi-underground house. The huskies were freaking out and sounded the alarm. But that was their job.

And my other friend used to live in the Peace River country in far Alberta when her daughters were young, and the biggest kid-awareness thing there was dangers while waiting for the school bus. Not so much from bears, even grizzlies, though; they were more concerned about mountain lions, which apparently can fight off the bears.

And it is wrong to send the kids back to school before Labour Day.

24

Oh, no. I have to go to the dentist tomorrow morning. I have teeth like little bits of chalk. My dentist never says nice things to me about how I take care of them. My dentist’s children have ponies because of my bad teeth. I broke one last week, and decided to make an appointment to get it looked at before it starts to hurt (which shows incredible foresight for me, really).

Now in addition to not wanting to be here today, I have to begin dreading tomorrow. Thanks a lot. :wink:

(But I do like my dentist very much because he’s a nice man and he makes the pain stop.)

25

swampbear: You can steal the chocolate milk ::shudder::, and I’ll go for the regular milk. Or the pie, if they do institute pie day.

Last night, I finally ordered my computer! I’ll copy/paste the text from the other place that I bragged about it.

Ended up going cheap, because I only had about half the amount of money that I thought that I would to spend. I plan on upgrading to a Raptor hd at some point, along with a faster processor, and more RAM.

AMD XP 3000+ (Accidentally got it instead of the AMD64.)
nVIDIA gFORCE FX5500 w/256MB & TV-OUT/DVI
1 gig of generic RAM
Random cheap 80 gig hd, because I’m updating it in the spring, and I’ve got a 200 one staring me in the face
450w power supply
16x DL DVD burner (+ and -)
5.1 surround sound, apparently, even though I don’t really need it. It sounds impressive to my non-audiophile ears.
Cool case that looks eerily like Strong Bad. Heh.

I… umm… got raped on shipping. 79 dollars, but I was so tired of computer shopping that I didn’t care.

All in all, shipped, assembled, everything: 515 dollars.

Hot.

26

See, I’ve been going to the dentist a lot lately, but if he ever brings in his kids ponies for a procedure, I’m outta there. Really.

27

Ah, elementary school. I have a good friend who has taught 4th grade for years. Since he is a male amongst many female teachers, they tend to give him the discipline cases. This year, he has 32 kids in his class. I can’t even imagine how one does would keep their attention for a full day. Teachers rule!

Great letter, Rue. I actually think that letter idea from parents is a cool idea.
I’m pretty sure your letter will be the most informative, as well as entertaining.

It was about 200 degrees here in the desert and a wildfire was churning away about 5 miles from us, so we fled to the ocean this weekend. We went to Oceanside beach and heard people talking about how hot it was. Ha! And we went to Petco Park and saw the Padres lose to the lowly Rockies. Woohoo, we got to see a grand slam! San Diego is where I want to live when I grow up. Hi scout and all other San Diego-ans. Your city rocks!

28

I think your letter (without editing or rewriting) would be a refreshing change of pace. I’d like to think that anyone who signs on to teach the younguns HAS to have a sense of humor, and would be amused by it.

29

The Shibblets have been back to school since the first week in August. I guess it’s a closer to the equator sort of thing. And in Florida we do most everything morally wrong. It’s the least we can do.

30

Great letter, Rue.

Speaking of bears, I spent most my weekend doing last minute shopping for our trip to the Kruger next week. We are sleeping in unfenced camps, which means no protection from lion, hyenas, leopard and all manner of things with big teeth…cool! Nothing like living on the edge to make you appreciate life.

31

I screwed up at work. :frowning: I released the report that I’d spent a month working on to the weekly business paper last Monday and then was supposed to send it to the daily on Thursday so they would both print it on Friday. Note the “supposed to.” I just realized this morning that I completely forgot on Thursday. And then one of the VPs came over to ask about it because he got a call from the daily paper and they’re not happy. I feel really bad. But I just forgot! :frowning:

32

Swampy, you cut me to the quick! I’m 18 years older than my hubby. I’m no beauty. Hubby is, well, a fireman, what more need I say? Surely, you didn’t say such things about us after leaving Seattle?! (I’m kidding, I know you didn’t. If you did, don’t tell me 'k?)
About champagne corks, I have a scar over my left eye form a wild champagne cork that attacked at about 7:00 am a few years ago. You know, eye brows bleed… alot!Do you think I went to the ER? Nooooo, how does one explain…?
Rue, I thought our problems with bears munching kinderkin was regional, only a problem here in the wilds of the Northwest.
You need to send the puppy to school with Katcha for protection.

33

picunurse as far as I know, you are not loud and obnoxious when drunk and don’t make really loud phone calls to somebody you’re either cheating on your hubby with or want to cheat on him with, in front of a whole buncha people (including hubby) while standing in the way of the boiled peanuts. It’s not the age thing that amazes me anyways. Why, I’m all hooked up with a youngun right now! That’s right, ACBG is five months younger than me. I’m a cradle robber! :smiley:

You got class and couth and paint purty pictures. I can easily see why your husband was so totally captivated by you. Plus, you apparently travel with a male harem in tow. What’s not to like about that? Oh, and you wouldn’t stand all in the way between me and boiled peanuts. That’s what cheesed me off. These were fresh boiled peanuts too.

donkey cool soundin’ new 'puter machine. Mine’s black and gray and has a flat monitor. That’s pretty much all I remember. I know it’s got lots of stuff cause I ordered it but I don’t remember what all the stuff is now. I could go look it up but I’m not.

My sinuses hurt real bad. I’m thinking about going home and taking Benadryl [sup]TM[/sup] and sleeping for a couple hours.
-swampbear (I’ve never eaten a kindergartner)

34

I guess this is MMPosters go to the dentist week, because I went in this morning. Nothing earth-shattering - assorted cavities, need to get fitted for a mouth guard (I guess I grind my teeth in my sleep - not a surprise), and a referral for a periodontist. Nothing too bad. It was my first visit to this dentist office (I hadn’t had an exam in 2 years - shame on me!). Dentist was hot. How do you hit on a dentist? Have to think about that. I have an appointment tomorrow to get the fillings done, but it’s with a different dentist (female).

Susan

35

I’d be irritated as hell if I was the teacher - you’re making a mockery of what sounds like a sincere effort to provide a better education experience for your kid. Guess what - it’s hard enough to find teachers that give a shit, so why do you insist on being flippant and mocking the efforts of one to take that extra step?

36

When my Wonderful Kids were in their respective preschool ( at different times) I was asked to do something similar for the kids. I basically put down that my goals were to help shape them into megolomaniacs that would one day rule the world with an iron fist.

The preschool teacher never commented on it.

Such a drag.

37

Shirley, I knew there was a reason I liked you.

38

You guys are totally missing the point with the bears. What good will bear insurance do you if your kid’s been gobbled? Huh? It’s not like you can just skip down to HomeDespot and pick up a new kid-kit! What we should be focusing upon discouraging bears from gathering 'bout the grade school like it was a stream full of fat salmon. What would make you avoid school Swampy? Unattractive uniforms?

I’m not too sure about sending your original letter, Rue. Now me, I’d be laughing so hard I’d fall off my tiny little kid-sized chair if I got something like that. I would take it to the lounge and brag how it looks I’ve got some fun coming up this year. But that’s me, and I have not crossed to the Pwecious Side of teaching. On the Pwecious Side you are terribly twee and sensitive and sincere and Nice, which requires removal of every last scrap of your sense of humor. Think Kathy Bates in Misery, before the sledgehammer. If the kiddo’s got a teacher like that, the good, fun letter would be exhibiting a lack of dire seriousness about maximizing every single facet of your child’s educational experience. Why, if you let a sense of humor slip in, pretty soon there’ll be whimsy everywhere, and well, that’s a sign of the End Times, I do believe. So do some recon before attempting to color outside the lines, is what I’m thinking.

I need to cut my fingernails. I can’t type properly with then this long and so I’m just sort of stabbing the keys with the ends. I don’t know how those secretaries with super duper long nails do it, plus they keep them perfectly painted!

It was fajitas for dinner last night, only no peppers or onions because I don’t like them. So really just spice marinated steak in a tortilla with salsa. This weekend I was going to make eggs benedict but the stupid sauce totally didn’t come out right. So it was really just english muffins, canadian bacon ay, with poached eggs and goopy yellow sauce. Still good!

Starting school before labor day is just wrong. Starting before labor day, on a thursday, is the cherry on the idiot-flavored ice cream cone of education.

Do I want to try boiled peanuts? Does anybody sell them on line? Hunh…

39

How’d you know that they started on a Thursday?

40

I would have sent your note, Rue , but that’s just me. I had to write many of those STOOPIT letters to the kids’ teachers when they were younger. Every year between kindergarten and 4th or fifth grade.

Mr. Taters has a dental appointment on Friday. He’s getting his teeth cleaned and there’s a possibility his little snaggle tooth will be pulled.

We spent Saturday at my Dad’s house because he and his wife hosted a BBQ for us, my sister, BIL, nephews, and another sister.

Middle sister brought homemade liqueurs to sample. We, uh, sampled the blackberry liqueur till it was practically gone. It was very tasty. We had a good time and didn’t get home until late.

Yesteday, we went to lunch, then Wally-World to get the boy’s glasses fixed, and picked up a couple of storage tubs while we were there. After tjhat we went to Best Buy where we purchased a 50 inch HDTV and stand. This is a story all in itself.

We walked into “Best Buy and knew what we wanted. Finally someone comes to help us. He what we wanted, we told him “that one right there” and this TV stand right here”. Okay, time to go to the 'puter. Oh oh!. The TV isn’t in stock. The hubby and I are all, huh :dubious: If it’s on the floor, why don’t you have it here, or at least a little note that states it’s not in stock. Okay, they can do this three ways for us: a. Wait for the truck which comes daily and we call everyday to see if the TV came in. Why? Because they never know what they’re going to get in a shipment. b. They order through their system and deliver to our house on Tuesday. Mmmm…nuh uh. We work, that’s not going to work for us. c. (Finally) They order it through ORCA from their warehouse in Kent (about 15 20 miles north of us) and it’ll get to their store on Wednesday. We went with option c. Why it can’t get here TODAY is beyond me, but hey, what do I know? :dubious:

Now comes the funny part. We did take the TV stand home because they had that in stock. So, we’re all done being rung up, walk to the front of the store, where our TV stand is waiting. guy up front “checks” our receipt, and helps us load TV stand into our pick-up truck. We drive home. Upon our arrival home, the phone rings and it’s Best-Buy. They didn’t charge us for the TV stand could we please come back? I looked at my receipts, and sure enough they didn’t charge us. So, we went back and paid for our TV stand and they even knocked a few bucks off the price for our trouble. I’m sure the two folks (the initial guy that rung us up and the receipt checker) were in a lot of ca-ca. In fact, I know they were. They weren’t out in the store when we came back. We could have been real jerks and said “What TV stand?”, but that’s just wrong.

I haven’t had coffee yet, so if this post sounds rambling blame it on that. I stayed home sick today because I’m in a lot of pain. I don’t know what’s wrong with my abdomen, but I really hurt. I’m going to just take it easy, and if it’s still there tomorrow, I’ll go see a doc.