Letterman: "McCain looks like the kinda guy who..."

Cafe Society
1

The bit is Letterman monologuing about the kinda guy McCain looks like.

“You know who I like is that John McCain. … He looks like the guy at the hardware store who makes the keys. He looks like the guy who can’t stop talking about how well his tomatoes are doing. He looks like the guy who goes into town for turpentine. He looks like the guy who always has wiry hair growing out of new places. He looks like the guy who points out the spots they missed at the car wash.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/01/david-lettermans-oldman_n_89237.html

My local paper printed some that aren’t on this clip, and there are some on the clip that weren’t in the local paper. None of the ones I quoted above are in either.

The interesting thing is this is the type of thing that can lose an election far more than some boring ol’ scandal. Remember the video of Bob Dole slowly falling off the raised platform when he was running against Clinton in '92?

Anyway…what kinda guy do you think John McCain looks like?

I think he looks like the kinda guy who yells at people on a golf course.

2

John McCain looks the kind of guy that will try to start and continue a long-winded conversation with you in the locker room – while he’s standing there nekkid.

3

He looks exactly like the vaguely creepy guy working checkout at our local Acme. Dead ringer.

Guy is always making some comment or another that’s juuuust on the safe side of the “you should probably tell his manager and get this nitwit fired” borderline.

4

He looks like the kind of guy I overheard talking about the trainload of Russian tanks he saw parked on a siding in Indiana.

He looks like he looks over his shoulder so often that his face stuck that way.

5

He looks like the drunken XO on a spaceship that fights robots.

6

He looks like the kinda guy who tells you you’re not sweeping right.

He looks like the kinda guy who yells at you for not shutting the gate.

7

He looks like the kind of guy I’d want for president.

8

He looks like the kind of guy who would be on Metamucil commercials during “Mama’s Family” reruns.

9

Holy crap. I always thought Tigh reminded me of someone.

Either him or Richard Dreyfuss.

10

He looks like the kind of guy who would keep telling a joke long after it had been beaten into the ground.

11

He looks like the neighbor that’s always telling you that you should change the direction you mow the lawn each time.

He looks like the guy that plays the dad on that show I hate.

(pause to ask the wife what the hell that show is)
**
That 70’s show
**

12

He looks like the kinda guy who lost an eye to the frackin’ Cylons, man.

ETA - Damn it, Miller beat me to it. We can’t even remember Tigh’s name most of the time, we just call him John McCain. Also, their wives are eerily similar as well.

Also, he looks like the kinda guy who always tells me that there aren’t any paper towels in the men’s room. Thanks a lot.

13

He looks like the kind of guy who would welcome me to Wal-Mart.

14

He looks like a fine gentleman who has served his country well, and who is really undeserving of these cheap shots by a bunch of message board hypocrites and idiots.

You go serve 5+ years as a POW in Viet Nam, and then further volunteer your services. The man should be idolized.

15

And we should never poke fun at our idols. Never!

16

He looks like the guy interviewed by the local news, explaining how he lost his life savings in a telemarketing scam.

17

I would, but I understand they’re no longer accepting applications.

18

He looks like the kinda guy who I’d like to have a bear with.

19

Grizzly or polar?

20

I kinda lost navigation of which message board this was posted on. Please continue.

(Although given Mr. McCain’s resume, he definitely deserves some respect.)