leverage the SDMB to poke fun at your tedious coworkers

My coworker “Bob” is a nice guy. He’s knowledgable about our field (IT), and he cares about his work. There’s just this one thing. I can’t work up much vitriol over it, but I have never had a conversation of any duration with him in which he failed to use the word “leverage” as a verb.

Now, I don’t generally like leveraging “leverage” as a verb, but I can accept that it has a limited value, a shade of meaning you might not get from a simple “use”. Bob, however, never leverages the word “use”. Where a lesser man might recommend “using SQL Server”, Bob will always – and I mean always – suggest that we “leverage” it. Bob does not entertain such mundane ideas as “installing” a new application; Bob ups the ante by leveraging the new application.

Wednesday, I was on a conference call with Bob and several other people. The call lasted about 45 minutes. Bob leveraged one thing or another 10 times. I counted. He used his mighty fulcrum once every 4:30 on average. In today’s 20-minute call with the same group, Bob could only muster two leveragings. Undaunted, and perhaps fearing he wouldn’t make quota, he leveraged Outlook to send a follow-up email, in which he leveraged “leverage” two more times. His email clocked in at a mere 109 words, counting the signature. (I leveraged Word to do a word count.)

Really, Bob, is that entirely necessary? Please, offer to “use” something just once, just to break the monotony. Even “utilize”, a word I hate, would be a welcome relief at this point. I beg you.

I just needed to get that off my chest.

OK, I feel better. So, this is the thread where you can leverage the SDMB to point and laugh at your not-really-Pittable coworkers.

Oy, the speech patterns of co-workers. I think it’s a weird obsession of mine that I can soon pinpoint someone else’s annoying repetitive speaking habits. Don’t get me started.

My boss always asks me to take a “peek” at something. Whether it’s a 15-page manuscript, a spreadsheet, an e-mail. No matter if it’s going to take ten hours of my work, I’ll need to take a peek at it. Why not just ask me to look at it?

Why, yes… there is a Kids reference for every occasion.

They’re just jealous of my ascertinaitude.

The Boss Lady and Head Honchessa of my lab utilizes “utilize” for all utilizations where the word “use” might in other contexts be utilized. It drives me straight up the wall. Fortunately, she does not use “impact” as a verb, or I would have to quit.