Life after Failure?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

As it stands now, I think I’m done. I got the grade report for my troubled class and with a 65 on the final, I think that ends my time here at Tech. They say there is no curve in the class. I’ve asked the Professor to regrade my final, but I would need a 10 point jump in its grade to bring me marginally close to passing.

I think I’ve finally failed.

You all have seen me when I’ve failed before. when I got dismissed originally and hell you even saw me before I ever got to college. But this time, I might have skimmed too low and finally sunk.

I knew this was a possibility. I’d spent all semester working against it. Oh the irony of this possibly being my best semester and yet it ending my college career. How you ask? Well, after dismissal last Spring I came back under an academic contract to get a 2.97 and pass all of my classes. Unfortunately for me, a D in this class is not passing. And while I don’t know my other grades I expect an A and 2 Bs. Bringing the semester GPA to a 2.75.

And now I face a reality I never thought I would. I always thought I’d pull it out. That I’d go on to succeed. I think my parents knew it would end. I think they expected it as semester after semester they saw my marginal grades. Life had taught them what I still refused to believe.

So what now? Do I stay in Atlanta? Do I go home to Orlando and lick my wounds? Do I go somewhere new? With little cash I can’t make any large move but when I got the email this morning it was as if the world crumbled around me and reality came crashing down.

I know I’ll get through this. I’ll survive and perhaps even find it is for the better. But for now it is what it is, failure.

I’ve failed. Game over, I was a cat with 9 lives and I’ve finally run out of lives. So now life begins anew. But what is it going to be? I’ve got some hard decisions down the road.

By failing I lose my semester living funds and so I will have to pay for everything with money from my jobs. I have to be forthcoming with my new job and explain the situation I deigned not to mention during interview, something which might end my employment there.

I just got a new internship, I got it after Thanksgiving. I didn’t put my GPA on there. Who would hire someone with a GPA like mine? But it wouldn’t be an issue, I told myself, I’ll pass this semester and just keep on rolling. And of course now it is an issue. So I’m going to pony up the details, hopefully my boss will be sympathetic and perhaps in the time I’ve been there I’ve proven that I’m worth their money. Maybe they’ll keep me on as a non-intern. It’s a good paying job and the work is good.

I write all this while there is still the possibility of a surprise. The world may surprise me and I may find myself with another semester at Tech. But I don’t find it likely. The class, ostensibly, isn’t curved and the Professor is one who doesn’t seem to be one to go easy on students. So I am fully expecting that this is the end.

There’s life for me yet. I’ve got a knack for surviving. Perhaps this is the butt kicking I needed. Maybe Tech is doing me a favor by smacking me upside the head and showing me that yes, I can fail. The new College of Computing building is being paid for largely by a Tech drop out who went on to fund Internet Security Systems.

Now these ramblings must stop. Life goes on. I’ll make do somehow somewhere.

2

I’d just like to point out that while having a 2.something GPA is something an institution like GT disdains, it’s not as bad as all that, and there are hundreds, if not thousands of colleges you could attend without that being a problem. Furthermore, you can also graduate, enter the world of work and prosper without giving your GPA another thought.

Of course, the bitter tase of “failure” can color your whole world and stymie you into a self-perpetuating cycle of lurching from one crisis to the next, but you don’t have to be that way; you really don’t.

You’ll have some tough sledding over the next few months while you get all of this sorted out, but it will help you to really figure out what you want and how to get it. You might just find a better way.

3

Getting kicked out of college was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m now in a great job with excellent benefits while most of my friends are paying off their loans. I realize that doesn’t work for everybody, just pointing out that it’s not necessarily the end of the world.

4

I feel your pain, as I am an alumnus from the famous mental institution which is fondly nicknamed Georgia Tech.

Which class was it that you had problems with? I had my share of tears when I was there from '95 to '99, and although I never failed a class, there were moments I was absolutely sure the worst was going to happen. And then for some reason it never happened. Case in point was in electromagnetism with Kennedy. I remember going to his office ones and breaking down a little. It’s an embarrassing memory.

It helps to plan what you should do if the worst scenario comes true because it allows you to emotionally detach yourself from what’s going and appraise the situation rationally. Where are you from? Would your parents let you live with them while you work to save up some money? I know a lot of people who went to Georgia State and worked at the same time. Even though it took them a while to graduate, they stuck with it and did it. Maybe if you could keep the job you just landed, you could go to school part-time at Georgia State.

5

Thanks for the positive feedback guys. Truth is that I am fairly calm about it all. As I said, I’ve been on edge and skimming fairly low for several semesters. So I’ve been on the edge of failing several times. Last spring I actually was dimissed and readmitted over the summer.

So this semester was the last ditch effort and I made a marvelous attempt at it, but it was CS 2340, Squeak, that did me in. With the latest grade report it shows me firmly entrenched in the 65% range.

I’ll be fine. I know I will. But I hate to fail. At anything.

6

It’ll grow hair on your chest.

Did you tell your mom yet? I’ll be she’s gonna be pissed.

7

Well I’ll be damned if there isn’t some supernatural entity on my side. I emailed the prof this morning asking him to please look back over my final in the vain hopes of something having been overlooked. I didn’t really expect anything to change, I mean - it’s finals and this is known as a merciless class.

But I get an email just now telling me that apparently 2 of my turnins hadn’t actually been graded and so I was bumped to a C!!!

So, assuming the other grades come back as expected, which I can’t imagine any of them being otherwise, though one might be slightly lower than expected… So assuming no more surprises this morning’s doom and gloom has been averted once more.

HOLY F*CKING CRAP ON A CRACKER. I might live to fight another day.

As for telling my mom. The parents knew this semester was an inch from disaster and so they’ve been kept up to date on such. I called her to give her the news about the class, and she was much relieved. So… holy crap. Well, I’m not out of the woods yet. The kill switch has been disarmed but the clock is still ticking… I’ll know for sure tomorrow.

8

Heh, I just went through the same thing this quarter. I walked out of my physics final not feeling too great about it, but I figured I did well enough to pass. Then I went home and looked at the solutions he put on the website, and things just went downhill from there. After reading through that, and remembering how harshy he graded on the midterm, I concluded there was no way I was going to pass this class. I spent the next couple days sulking about how if only I had remembered this and that, and prepping myself with life after failure. When the grades were finally put up, and I saw that I got a C, it was like someone showing up at my front door with a giant novelty check. I almost felt guilty; I was so sure of my failure that getting a C felt like I cheated somehow. Still, I thanked any supernatural deity that might have had something to do with this, as well as telepathically thanking my professor for passing me, and now live to fight another day.

9

I was coming in here to offer condolences, ronin, but now that I see you might be pulling out of the tailspin, I’ll switch them to kudos and a shout of Good Luck.

I went through almost the exact same thing you did as an undergrad. The only difference really is that I passed my science classes, sometimes with B’s and sometimes with C’s. The problem is that med school admissions councellors don’t like to see those grades on your transcripts unless they’ve been having a bad day and feel like sending you one of those special letters. The ones that read like they should have a laugh track :frowning: .

Well, all these years later, I’ve learned to follow my true callnig, and now I’m a librarian, loving every minute of it. I work 9 to 5 with some of the coolest people out there, and if I work extra, I get paid extra. My doctor friends are all working 47-hour days and looking at getting out of debt some time around the next ice age. Hell, thanks to the army, I even know first aid. I’ll take my life over theirs any day.

10

Further updates: Well my grades are not what I expected. I had thought I would have 1 A, 2 Bs and a C, but looking online the system shows me as having 2 Bs and 2 Cs.

I’m quite scared because I thought I had been told I had to have a GPA at 2.97 or above. I might have the number wrong, maybe it was 2.47 or 2.27. Or maybe I’m just having wishful thinking. The system isn’t showing me as dismissed, in fact it isn’t showing me as anything so I expect it is waiting on someone to key in the results in terms of my academic contract.

So I’m left waiting right now. When I get home I’ll go looking for the contract to see if I can find the requirements and hopefully it is supposed to be 2.47… If not, then at least I didn’t fail out and I instead only fell short of the requirements.

Ugh, what a rollercoaster of a day.

11

Purely out of curiosity, who was the instructor for the Squeak course? (and my best wishes for a good outcome on this).

12

Ronin,

Good luck to you. But you might (hopefully) have my string of dumb luck. I ended my senior Fall semester with a D in a chem lab. I knew that I needed a C or better for the course to count, and that the course would not be offered again until the Fall. I knew that I wasn’t going to graduate on time. So I went down to talk to the Dean (with whom I had had a great relationship). After I told him my story, he just stared at me like I had three extra heads and said, “You’re fine; D is for Diploma.”

In other words, go check those numbers and wait until you get all grades in.
Good Luck,
-geek

13

He’s a grad student of the name Rick. The class was started by Guzdial as I recall…

14

Big Updates

I live! I live to fight another day! 2 Bs and 2 Cs and according to my advisor the all knowing system shows me as still being on probation, if I had failed to uphold my GPA requirements it would show me as dismissed. Now, the tinge of fear is that the advisor is on holiday so he can’t check the official contract for me, we have to go by what the system says to him. I still can’t pull up my grades so I can’t give a visual confirmation yet.

In any case, I’m off to the bank, then lunch and work.

15

You deserve to treat yourself to the greasiest chilli dog at the Varsity.

16

If it makes you feel any better, a bout of serious depression my senior year made me come THIS CLOSE to flunking out of Agnes Scott, down the road from you. I actually only graduated after more than one committee meetings where they fudged around with requirements until they made it come out okay. I squeaked. My last semester’s GPA was… well, I won’t tell you. I did graduate, with my tail between my legs, and went home in disgrace. I really thought I’d ruined my life, but you know what? I got into grad school (on the second go round - hard to explain to the admissions people why you were on the dean’s list for three years and then all of a sudden bottomed out, and that you weren’t going to do that again, even though you weren’t entirely sure that was true.) Anyway, I survived, got my masters’ degree, got a good job. Just bought a house. You’ll survive too, whether you make it or not this semester. And it sounds like you’re going to just squeak by - hey, at least you didn’t require a departmental meeting. :slight_smile:

17

So… apparently my Advisor spoke too soon. And unless grades are changed then I’m out of Tech. When the Advisor told me all was well he was not looking at the most up to date information.

I’ve got a glimmer of hope in one class so far, she has noted that I had a B which dropped to a C after I had failed to complete some small assignments but she has said that if I can complete them then she may be able to resubmit my grade. So I’ll be doing those this evening.

18

Buckle down and get those assignments in young man. I swear it looks like fate or what have you is doing it’s damndest to be on your side. Good luck!

19

Well it appears that may have been just a glimmer. I feel ill from all of this. Exhausted and ill. I had come to acceptance earlier in the week, then they gave me hope and snatched it away again.

20

{{{{ronincyberpunk}}}}