so i have recently decided that i am in a funk, and suffering from the male version of PMS, and this got me to thinking about wanting to change my life, shake things up, make me happy again. This in turn got me thinking of things that have altered my life, shaped the way i see and think about the world around me. And of course, having fell in love with the whole idea of th MPSIMS/thread board, i decided that some of you fun and wonderful people out there might have some stories of inspiration for me. However, before i read yours…Here is my top 5 list (not meaning that you all need to limit to 5 or even reach 5)
Getting called a faggot for the first time (in elementary school) Isn’t it weird that something that hurts so much, amkes your life that much better?
Coming out. what a life altering experience. 'nuff said. this goes hand in hand with falling in love with a man for the first time…and realizing that no matter what anyone says, there is definately a difference between growing up gay and growing up straight. and not in a bad way.
being bit by my dog in the face. then realizing that one mistake CAN cost a life.
Going clubbing that Sunday night four long years ago…one guy, dating him, then dumping him for his best friend…the man i have been dating for four years.
having to split my parents up when they were having sex…it was this whole weird rape/cheating/fight scene…i hope noone ever has to pull their parents apart when they are naked and beating each other up.
so anyway, there is my list…no one has to follow the sameform…it can be as simple as turning left when you should have gone right, or as complex as having a baby…have fun, and learn from all of your experiences.
Funny you should ask this at this time. 2 weeks ago I confessed to my wife that I was having an affair (take that all you folks who confessed to liking ABBA. If you’re gonna confess something, CONFESS SOMETHING). We’re both committed to saving our marriage and are working hard at it (counselling, communicating out the whazoo for the first time in a looooooooooong time). It has been a hugely life altering experience. “The unexamined life is not worth living.”
The first time I went traveling in a third world country had a profound impact on me. It changed all my perceptions, altered my world view, shifted how I viewed my own place in the universe. An opportunity, very rare, to see with ‘new eyes’.
There was an uneasy feeling, I was very aware of at the time. Like an earthquake, things shifting below your feet. It’s thrilling, and frightening, and wonderful. I think the unease is because you know you can never go back to who you used to be.
I had a near death experience when I was a teenager and there were definite similarities. The next day, it was the same world I was walking around in, but it was very, very different at the same time.
Great topic! I am anxious to hear what other have to say.
Realizing that all the “life rules” that I had thought to be true were a bunch of crap when I decided I no longer wanted to be married to my (now ex-) husband. I had lived so long in the realm of “He’s my husband, I have to support him” and “No matter who I’m with, there’s going to be things I don’t like about him so I might as well learn to deal with his problems” that when I finally got my head out of my ass and realized that I was married to a man who was not too bright, very needy, and who I didn’t love I had to very painfully give up a huge number of personal beliefs and rules. Can you believe I had actually talked myself into believing that pretty much all men were basically the same, and that I would be no happier nor get along better with anyone besides my husband?
3 years later, I’m with someone who is hands down a better match for me. I can’t believe how much better things can be when you’re with someone you actually like, as opposed to cringing in the corner when, yet again, he embarrasses you in public.
Almost failing to get into grad school because I thought I knew it all and I had always got what I have wanted in the past without having to work too hard at it. I got by the skin of my teeth but it took and awful lot of pleading and eating of humble pie.
Since then I have never take anything for granted and always tried my hardest to reach my goals rather than just asume things would fall into place.
My best friend, Pam, died in a car accident back in April. She was only 17 years old. That taught me that life is, indeed, very short and it can all be over in the blink of an eye. Now, everyday, I tell the people around me how special they are to me, and how lucky I am to have them in my life. That way, should anything happen to me, people will know how I felt.
The biggest life altering experience for me was when my father was killed. I was only eight and had two younger sisters. I think that I became an adult that day. I knew that someone needed to take care of things and my Mom seemed like she was falling apart.
Another life altering experience (although not quite as huge) was my first trip to Rome. I had traveled before and I have traveled since but there is no place else in the world to me like Rome. Have you ever gone somewhere and just “knew” that was where you were supposed to be? Everything seemed familiar even though I had never been there before. To me Rome will always be where my heart is even if I can only go and visit once in a while.
I had better stop now before I start to sound crazy!
As many of you know, my husband was in a terrible motorcycle accident last year. I was one of the first people on the scene, and the sight of him laying in the road not moving took 10 years off my life. I will never, ever forget it as long as I live.
Since then, he’s given up the “workaholic” martyr bit, and we are closer then ever. We treasure every minute together, and I don’t give a rats ass about the “little things”. The thought of losing him is ever present now, and that has made a huge difference.
The biggest thing that changed my life is when my father died when I was a freshman in college. I had decided to go to school a couple of states away from home, and at the end of Christmas break my dad drove me back to school. He dropped me off at the dorm at eight a.m. and an hour later he was in a car accident and died.
This was hard enough to deal with in and of itself, but my mother went off the deep end as a result. (Not literally crazy, but she’s never gotten over my dad’s death in any meaningful way.) She started packing us up to move before the funeral had ever taken place. I was more or less out of the nest, obviously, but my mom picked my two brothers up and moved near her parents. I was strongly against this, and as it turns out, I was right, because she relies on my grandparents for everything. She can’t make any decisions for herself. She has no job. She has no friends except for family members. She also gets in moods where she says she hopes she dies and that she can’t wait until my youngest brother graduates so she can move to the assisted living (she’s 53).
So for the past five years I feel like I have been semi-babysitting my mother and trying to help my brothers grow up semi-normally.
Having a niece that was born with cerebral palsy. It taught me real compassion at the tender age of 14.
Buying a home. Yes, I would have to say that before we bought our first house, I didn’t really know what responsibility was.
Having a life-threatening condition. I’d have to lump every experience together. But everytime I’ve had an anaphylactic reaction I get nervous and maybe overly cautious. I want to LIVE!
Being a parent. Just yesterday when the 2yo asked me to buy M&M’s for breakfast, I told her, “I quit serving M&M’s for breakfast when you kids came along.” That pretty much sums up parenthood in one sentence.
Nursing my babies. I don’t possess the words to describe those experiences. I guess it’s sort of a sense of accomplishment, but it’s more than that.
Losing my dad. I still wonder what his opinion would have been about things.
I was afraid the reply screen would time out, so I split my answer.
Some people tried to make me feel guilty about going away to school because it was indirectly responsible for my dad’s death. But on the other hand, going away to school was also the best thing that ever happened to me, because I met my boyfriend of four and a half years at school, and he has been there for me through good and bad, and we are planning to be married. In addition, I was able to find out what I really want to do with my life. I wouldn’t have been able to do that without venturing out.
In no particular order:
Losing my SO five years ago, unexpectedly, on his way home from work. To a heart attack, at 28. An accident I could have understood.
Giving birth. Maybe that six month period around the actual birth. From the time you can tell this a little person inside through early infancy. Mind blowing.
I’ve got a few coming. Both my parents are still alive. I’m sure that when I become the oldest generation that will be life altering as well.
