What was the most important / life changing decision you have ever made in your life?
I am sure for many it is the decision to get married, have a kid, maybe what to do after High School.
For me it was when I decided to leave gread school with just an A.B.D. (All but dissertation). After years of frustration and debt I one day simply said “I quit”. I threw out or sold a ton of my belongings, very cathartic, and headed to California (where my family had migrated to). I had no job, little money and what I figured was little to offer to any potential employer. Three months later I had a decent job and have prospered since. And I just don’t mean financially, emotionally as well.
The only regret I ever had was that I didn’t make that decision years earlier.
I would have to say it was the day my son was born. At that moment I realized that I had the biggest responsibility in the world. To provide the financial, emotional and mental well-being for another human individual until at such time that person could survive the world on his own.
You think that once your child has finished their education and started out in the world on their own that your worries are over. Not so. Your bond as a parent does not end until the day you leave this earth. You don’t ever stop wondering and worrying about them. Even though you may not see them or hear from them every day, their life is still woven into yours in ways that are undescribable. It’s amazing how parenthood can be so rewarding and yet so painful at the same time. I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything in this world.
I had been dating a guy for the last three of the four years I was in college, and the plan was for me to move after graduation to be with him and eventually marry him.
One morning, a month or two before I was supposed to be moving, I realized that I didn’t want to move away from my hometown, and that I wasn’t ready to marry anyone, let alone him. After thinking it over for a day, I finally called him and told him I wasn’t coming. It took another couple months before we broke off the relationship completely.
Most of the things I’m most proud of achieving in my adult life would not have happened if I had gone ahead with the move and marriage. Scary.
It was 1981, I was in the Navy, working third shift at a computer installation in Newport, RI. I did a little work, then settled down to wait for a job to complete. Needing something to read, I picked up a freebie alternative newspaper and started paging through it. On the third page I found a column I’d never heard of before. The Straight Dope by Cecil Adams. Life as I know it began. <sniff> I still get a little choked up thinking about it…
The day I realized I had a drug/alcohol problem and decided I didn’t want to spend my life that way anymore. Took a little while, but I’ve been sober for over 10 years now. On my own, with no “therapists” or AA. Just a good man to help me through the rough spots.
Of course, watching my children being born, getting married and all that stuff is up there in the “life changing” catagory, but I’d have to say that the following was the number 1 life changing event.
It was the late summer of 1990. I got a tour of a radio station in my home town. When we got to the studio part of the station, I almost crapped my pants. Talk about an epiphany. Iknew what I’d be doing for the rest of my life. Broadcasting.
I’ve had many jobs in my time…from working at a golf course to security, to owning a taxi, (good money) but I’ve never been as satisfied as I am now.
I won’t be on the air forever, but management is on the horizon. Very exciting.
Two days: December 22nd, 1978 and December 22nd, 1979.
The first was a skiing accident that tore out my right ACL. The second was a car accident that broke my right femur at the knee and my left kneecap. Since I was three years old (my mom says two) I “knew” I was going to join the Navy and fly, just like dad. The injuries changed that.
(I learned to fly anyway… and I got back on skis, too!)
A toss-up. Would either be the day I got engaged & married (yes, it was the same day) or the day my first show openned. It was the first play I’d had produced (I wrote & directed it), and the audience loved it. Ended up with nearly every show sold out and lots of good ink. Set me firmly on the path of the playwrite.
Would be the day I came home from a training mission in Iceland, caught my what-was-to-be fiance/girlfriend of 3 years in a lie and cheating on me.
September 3, 1997, changed my life forever. Significantly. Hard lesson learned.
October 27, 1996, the day I ETS’ed from active duty was the first day that changed my life somewhat less significantly.
The day my husband got hit by a truck on his motorcycle. I never, ever knew I could care so deeply for someone. I knew the moment I saw him on the road that my life would never be the same, and it hasn’t been. He’s OK now, and we appreciate every single moment together. There was no bickering before really, but we seemed to have moved on to a higher level of love and respect after that day. I took care of him and nursed him back to health and was happy to do it. He appreciated it and knew for sure that “in sickness and in health” was something I took very seriously.
Hard day, but certainly the most life changing/eye opening.
Third grade. Abusive teacher. Humiliation in front of class for not understanding the difference between the “a” sound in FAR and the “a” sound in BALL. Determination on part of little 8 year girl never ever ever to let that happen again. Incident buried.
Straight A’s grade school. Straight A’s middle school. Straight A’s high school. Straight A’s college. Absolute perfectionist. Never in trouble. Never drove over speed limit. House immaculate. Teeth always brushed.
time warp
Counselor’s question at second session: “We’ve talked for two weeks now about what’s wrong in your life, how no matter what you do, or how hard you try, no one appreciates you, and you just can’t keep up, and I have a simple question. Do you know when, exactly, you decided never to ever make a mistake?”
Instant recall of above related incident.
Comment by counselor: “Don’t you think, 20 years later, that you could change your mind?”
Yep, there is a difference. Per Webster’s Collegiate, far has an a with a dot over it, pronounced like father. Ball has an o with a dot over it, pronounced like saw.
I still find it hard to believe this was a necessary 3rd grade skill, though.
The day I decided to leave my abusive finace. I packed all the stuff I could fit into my car and drove out to VA to live my dad. I left a great job and a full scholorship to CU @ Denver, but I don’t regret the decision I made.
I thought moving to Australia was going to be the big step, but in fact all it did was shift my life to another location. In essence it’s still the same old crap.
Somebody sweep me off my feet and take me away from all this! Please!
Gee, I’ve had several life changing happenings, but I’ll select the first, and for me, most poignant.
The day I first saw her and realized that I was in love. Everything changed after that! First, real love. It did not work out, but the following years were full of changes, adventures, mishaps and small victories.
The day that my bf told me I don’t have to be so perfect all the time. I had heard it before but this was the first time I listened. I realized that I didn’t always have to know everything, look perfect all the time, or act perfect all the time. It was okay to be messy, gain weight not be a “model” all the time. That sometimes it was okay to vent and let things get to me sometimes. That I can let someone in on my “dark side” and they may even still love me, also that I am worthy of that love.
I guess one would be the birth of our son, which was absolutley amazing and life-changing.
But I never would have gotten to that point if, on March 4, 1991, I hadn’t had a moment of clarity and seen how fucked up my entire life was, and made a decision to get off of drugs & alcohol.
Sober ever since, going on 10 years. Everything in my life that is wonderfull and fulfilling was and is contingent on that.
Birth of two healthy children ranks up there up, but they were planned.
Planned moments, even though monumenteous, I feel do not define our character so much so as the whims that life throws at us all. Afterall, it is not the event that we live through, but how we handle it, that shapes our characters. Through fire, fine steel is made.
Two dates are etched forever in my soul:
December 25, 1975. My father dies of cancer. I am 9 years old.
May 19, 1991. My future inlaws are nearly killed in an accident. My boyfriend/hubby and I pass the accident sight on the way to the hospital. I could have easily walked away from the worst day in my boyfriends life because, well, it was going to be a long, long haul for recovery and legal stuff with his parents, but I would have never been able to look at myself in the mirror again.
Oh, and one other date. It’s blurry, but about 1994, mid summer, my life and perception of who I am changed irrevocably, when I realized my metabolism downshifted and my chlosteral went into high gear.
Damn good subject, btw.