Are you familiiar with the saying “The right tool for the right job”? Well, I am. Didn’t stop me from ignoring the rule last night. I was in the kitchen. A flat head screwdriver was handy, the right tool (a small prybar) was in the garage some 50 feet away. I needed to pry something apart. The right thing to do would be to walk to the detatched garage, unlock it and find the prybar. I could even take the object with me and do the work in the garage, where there is also a vice and other tools to make the job easier. It wouldn’t be wasted time, as proper preparation prevents waste.
What I did was to grab the screwdriver and get to work. After much time, effort and grunting (at some point, even though this was taking longer than the “right” option, it became the principle of the thing) I got the object pried apart. At the same instance the screwdriver travelled through the previous attachment point and entered the base of my thumb. I yelled (it was a manly scream, trust me) and everything that was in my hand, including blood, clattered to the floor. Well, the blood didn’t clatter, it was more of a splatter. My loving wife yelled, from the comfort of the living room sofa, “Is is bad?” She has been through this before. I replied “Sorry, dear, but there’s too much blood to tell just yet.” My daughter, who was also on the living room sofa, came into the kitchen (probably to see if I was lying about the blood) and moved the dirty dishes to one side of the double sink so that I would have a more convenient place to bleed than the floor.
After much rinsing and dabbing, I have a nice screwdriver head shaped hole in my hand and about a half pint less blood than normal. Probably could have used a stitch or two, but I’ll tough it out.
So, after all that you are probably assuming that the Captain Obvious Life Lesson would be the afore quoted “Always use the right tool for the right job”. Nah. What I got out of this was “If you pry with a screwdriver you risk injury, but screwing with a prybar is probably more dangerous”.
But on the other hand you saved yourself that 50 foot walk to the garage. You might have been bitten by a poisonous snake out there. So think of that as a win. The loss of all that blood and a hole in your hand was worth it!
Well Captain, as I was getting impatient with your lieutenant, I said “Let us get this over with.”
Which has nothing to do with your scenario except for the blood dripping all over the floor and sink and me trying to find a suitable bandage while apologizing to the ladies at work and asking if there was any bleach and paper-towels to clean up after myself.
While blood was dripping profusely from my right-hand little finger, leaving a trail of my DNA up the loading dock and into the bathroom.
My finger still hurts, as it has been for two days now.
(Yes, I ripped the f***k out of it). Should have gone to ER to get stitches, but no. It’s just a scratch.
If I die from pinkie infection please remember me in your eulogy.
Ugh my wife is the queen of “forget the right tool, just get by with whatever” even to the point it costs more or causes damage! She will spend more money trying to use the wrong tool and cause problems, rather than as she sees it waste money by getting the right tool!
I think I’ve posted my biggest Captain Obvious-style life lesson here before, but I don’t remember.
Suppose you sterilize a scalpel by heating the hell out of it. You’re supposed to let it cool for a while after it’s been sterilized, but you’re impatient, so you grab it too soon.
You automatically yelp and drop it. For the love of whatever you think is holy, don’t automatically bend down and pick the damned thing back up!
Fun times. And best wishes for quick recoveries, Captain Obvious and Cabin Fever!
Even if you’re just planning to use it for just a second, a step ladder is still not an extension ladder, and needs to be deployed rather than leaned against something. This reminds me of the fact that I still don’t know how severe a self-inflicted injury has to be for my wife not to laugh.
You know those old upright mixers, the kind with a tall glass container and whirling blades on the bottom that can be used to make milkshakes or smoothies? Captain Obvious says that, if you turn it on with just the blades installed but without the glass container on it, and then you turn it off because it makes too much noise for you to hear what someone is saying, it is best to let the blades come to a stop naturally rather than trying to stop them right away with your hand.
You know, just because a toaster oven is much smaller, it doesn’t mean that doesn’t get just as hot, and the pan you stuck in there at 400 degrees is going to actually heat to that temperature. A paper towel isn’t going to work as an oven mitt.
