Let’s say that you are 25. You can reasonably expect to live a while. You can look at 10, 30, or even 50 years down the road and plan for things.
Now let’s say that you are 80. Chances are pretty good that you would be around in 10 years, and chances are also very good that you will develop some sort of bad illness soon that changes your quality of life.
I’m not trying to depress anyone, but how does an older person view the future? Just stop planning and live day to day?
I had a conversation with a gentleman once on a related subject. I was having some lumber treated that I was using to build a privacy fence. I told this guy that I was getting old enough that I was starting to think about things in terms of, “I want to build this fence right so I won’t have to repair it again in my lifetime.” I was in my mid-forties at the time.
He told me he had noticed older folks, in their 70-80s, seem to be even more concerned about how long things would last. I can only imagine that some are concerned about leaving things in order so that these things don’t become a burden to the folks that are left after they’re gone. I have to admit, I’ve started thinking that way somewhat, too.
Mostly, though, I worry that things I build now will require repair when I’m 60-70 (if I’m lucky) and I won’t be able to afford the repair or I will be too feeble to do it.
Was it in a movie or a comedian who was talking about an old person who was worried about buying green bananas? 
There’s probably a fulcrum point - first you worry about getting stuff, then you realize you’ve started replacing stuff because it’s worn out, then you start worrying about outliving your stuff.
Last year, Grandma really did waffle for a bit deciding whether to buy a one year or three year calendar. Like, she thought about it for a few **weeks **before placing her order!
I was glad she chose to get the three year one!
My parents are both in their 70s, and my Grandmother is in her 90s.
Grandmother is old enough that she’s got a bit of dementia, but not so much that she’s in a nursing home. She lives on her own in a senior’s apartment building, with the help of aids who come in just about every day. She doesn’t do much beyond living day to day - she reads a lot, appreciates when people come to visit her, and watches her favorite shows on TV. When asked, she says she’s ready to die. She misses my Grandfather a lot, and though her day to day life isn’t bad, it’s not exciting either.
My parents both have their share of senior health issues, but are fine as far as their minds go. They plan for the next 5-10 years; they know that after that, they probably are not going to be able to do what they can do now. So they’re spending what money they have and living a pretty decent life.
from It Made My Day
My parents’ planning ahead was mostly about their supplementary Medicare health insurance and long-term care insurance. After he retired and for as long as he still could, my father worked to increase the value of his estate by buying distressed houses and fixing them up, then renting them, and finally selling them to the good renters and carrying the mortgages until they could get a bank mortgage.
My father was 80 when my mother died. Shortly after that, he had a back operation that severely impeded his ability to walk very far. But he lived alone and mostly independent for the rest of his life, and for almost all of that time (he died last year at 87) he was actively engaged in trying to continue to increase the value of his estate through investments. (I think if he hadn’t had people he cared about to leave his money to, it would not have been nearly so interesting to him). His mind was busy, even if his body often wasn’t.
So I think it greatly depends on the person. My grandmother also died at 87, but for the last few years of her life she wasn’t interested in much of anything. I think one day she finally turned her face to the wall, and went.
I’m 60 now, and the next big milestone in my life is retirement. I’m starting to plan how that will be (and thanks to Dad, it will be a better retirement than I had any right to expect). I know I need to keep active and interested in what I’m doing, or my life will likely be shorter (and seem longer). This is the main reason I’m so interested in keeping up my health and strength, so that I can continue to do things I want to do, as long as possible.
Roddy
George Burns.
My father-in-law is 94, and very with it, and I’d say that the reason he doesn’t do long term planning is that he has already done it, and is in the execution phase now. He moved into a retirement community where he gets dinner and some stuff like bankers coming to them, but where he doesn’t need any medical support. He’s got all his documents in order. He isn’t planning on marrying his new girlfriend, who is a year older than he is. He does do short term planning - he still takes commissions to write music. But when things are stable, the planning part is over.
OP should have read “would *not be around” in 10 years.
Great stories guys, but I guess I’m looking at more of the day to day perspective or “thinking” of older people. I’m 34. In ten years I’m looking at being in a better place in my career and planting landmines in front of my house to kill boys that would be looking for my daughter. Ten years after that I will be 54…then 64…then 74…then 84…then 94…
Or I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and die. Who knows? But my point was that at my age I think in the distant future.
If I was 85, would I think about what happens 6 months from now? I could be wrong, but I would think that anyone over 70 would be living day to day and that any planning would be short term at best.
That type of mindset is foreign to me and I was looking for some kind of insight as to how that works and how a person is happy or content with it. Thanks again.
With my inlaws and my dad, I saw them get to a point where it was “screw it, I’ll do whatever I want.” One time we tried to convince my FIL to not use so much salt. “When you’re 94, everything is dangerous.” True. Let the old man have what he wants. My dad pretty much decided he was going to do whatever he wanted, to hell with the consequences, and no one could tell him otherwise. When he died he had spent all his money and half the value of his house (through a reverse mortgage). My MIL died in her mid-90s of colon cancer and during her terminal illness it was in a weird way kind of fun in that she could pretty much eat whatever she wanted and not worry if it was healthy or not.
Adding another thought – the older you get, the less pressure you’re under. In my job, for example, I’m not worried about career advancement. I’m not even that worried about whether the boss is happy. Of course I do my job as best I can because that’s my ethic, but if he’s pissy about something, I don’t really care. What’s he going to do, fire me? At my worst I know I’m the second-best worker in the office, and I’m probably retiring in 2 years anyway. It is a nice “set-free” kind of feeling.
At age 73 with heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure (well controlled), atrial fibrillation, I just look on each day that I am able to get up, do a bit of gardening in the summer, work on a new mathematics paper, as a gift. I don’t look far ahead; I spend a lot of time looking behind.
With a good pension, complete health care (not the dog’s breakfast that the US has with copay, deductible, complementary insurance at high price), a house I can still live in with my faithful wife, I just go on as far as I can. I should do something about the day that I can no longer live without assistance, but I don’t know what to do. There is a new condo development near here that is a retirement home, but they provide assisted living only up to a point; if you become incontinent, say, you are on your own. Anyway, my wife refuses to give up her gardening. My kids are all in the US and we really cannot face living there, so we do nothing.
Personally, having seen the horrible decaying decline and debilitation of siblings who have died in their before the age of 50. ( One is still alive and that ain’t saying much.) and watching the Generation that raised me all slow down and break down, if is farking depressing. Like a Dementor entered the room and never leaves.
Nursing home care is appalling in this country unless you are wealthy. ( My last brother is so disabled now he cannot feed/bath or anything and the nursing home doesn’t want him because he is too much work. That is a direct quote. Well no fucking duh. So his room is about the size of a walk in closet. My previous Brother who was in a group home was in a fucking sty of neglect and noncare.)
I am seriously considering an alternative exit so I don’t drain any estate (hah, little value left in it.) and become a burden to my children. I know how soul crushing it is.
Actually speaking, I am worth more dead than alive if we keep paying our life insurance.
It won’t be for years, but I’ve been thinking about it.