Life rocks, you suck, so just shut the fuck up and stop whining

about ** anything **. You’re driving me crazy. Yes, YOU. And YOU. And you over there in the corner, don’ pretend you don’t hear me, sit up straight and listen to me. I’m only gonna say this once.

Listen, life is beautiful. It is excellent and good. It is precious and joyful and every day that you rise and see the sun should be a day that you have a big fat fuckin’ smile on your face for the sheer beauty of it, you got that?

If you are reading this, the chances are excellent that all of the following are true, to one degree or another:

You have a roof over your head, the wind and the rain and the snow are * outside * and you are * inside * where it’s warm and cozy. Yeah, it costs you money. Shut the fuck up, I said!

You will have a warm, comfy, cozy place to sleep tonight. Probably with squishy pillows, a delightfully comfortable mattress, and warm, soft covers to bundle up in.

You won’t be going to bed hungry, unless you do so by choice. You have at your disposal an enormous variety of foodstuffs, many of them prepared for you, not by you, which will provide every calorie, every vitamin, every nutrient your body could ever need. On top of which, they are almost all very pleasing to the palate.

You are educated! You can read, write, type, use a computer. You therefore have access to more knowledge in a week than most people on earth today, much less throughout history, will or could acquire in a lifetime.

You have access to pain-killing drugs. 'nuff said.

You have access, * even without insurance* to better medical care around the corner at a local clinic than the King could have received in 1750, and almost certainly better than most people around the world can receive even today. Shit, you have access to better medical care at your local * pharmacy *. And if you DO have medical insurance, you have access to medical care that borders on the miraculous.

You have nonstop entertainment in your home, 24 hours per day if you want it. TV, Radio, Music, your computer and your reading matter. You could keep yourself entertained for the rest of your life without ever leaving your house.

You can speak freely about your government without fear of torture or mysterious disappearance or imprisonment.

As for what is probably true of most of you:

You ain’t actively dying. You are relatively healthy. Chances are also good that most of the people you love are not actively dying and are relatively healthy.

Nobody’s beatin’ the shit out of you day after day. You don’t face a day full of being raped and having it called “prostitution”.

Your relatives aren’t going to mangle your genitals to make you an acceptable marriage partner.

You aren’t going to have to go to war.

The poorest among you is richer, healthier, and has more peace, comfort and pleasures in this life than most human now living or who have ever lived could even dream of. Even among kings and queens.

And here’s the rest, before you start whining again: even if you DO have significant challenges in your life, chances are good that your whole existance is not a miserable hellhole. You have options, you have tools. Life is NOT an endless, bleak reality that you have no hope of escaping, not at all.

You are almost certainly living in one of the advanced and free countries on earth, most of you in the US. You are the most privileged, healthy and well-cared for group of humans to ever live, with more fun, more opportunity, more comfort, more education, more free time and more of everything except filth, disease, ignorance and deadly poverty.

So all that bitching and whining and griping you’ve been doing? Can it. All that feeling sorry for yourself? Spare me. All that anger and frustration at the long lines, the bad traffic, the stupid salesgirl, the irritating in-laws, your fucked up boss…chew it up and swallow it. All that torment you are experiencing because you can’t be a full time artist, you can’t lose that 50 pounds, you were born with a giant nose, you have acne, knock knees, you drive a crappy car, you take the bus, you hate your work, nobody loves you, you aren’t rich, you you you you you YOU need to learn to APPRECIATE LIFE.

Cuz you know what? It rocks. Even the shitty parts rock. Throughout most of human history, right up to and including today, the average human being’s life is nasty, brutish and short, and yours isn’t. It’s goddamned amazing and wonderful and remarkable and fabulous and a thousand blessings laid upon thy back and there simply isn’t * time * for you to be a whiny shmuck who thinks he/she is going to live forever and can afford to WASTE it being a brat. .

SO SHUT UP already, and start spreading a little joy in the world, instead of sucking it out by being a crabby, impatient, shallow, self-absorbed little shit that doesn’t get it.

stoid
sick o’ yas

[sub]PS: None of this is intended to lead anyone to believe that I think we should all just accept the world as it is, without striving for greater improvement in all things, most particularly ourselves. Only that our overriding attitude should be one of gratitude, as we go about the business of upgrading our wonderful world to something even better.[/sub]

Yeah, I guess so. But I still wish I had a beer.

Well now, aren’t we being just a bit presumptuous with that one?

of themost important thing of all:

You’ve all got TOILETS. And that, in and of itself, should be reason for a sunny outlook.

stoid

OPTIMISM. When applied by ourselves to ourselves, a pleasant and sometimes useful distraction from the oppressiveness of a day and the certainty of death. When encouraged as a social attitude it is an infantilizing force which removes the individual’s conscious power to criticize, refuse, and doubt. Optimism, like patriotism, is the public tool of scoundrels and ideologues.
-John Ralston Saul, The Doubter’s Companion

What are you talking about? Do you know how deprived I am? Do you realize what a backwards, hellhole of a dungeon I live in? It may as well be a cave! And do you know why? Because I don’t have Playstation2!
At least this is what my son believes.

Hey, you’re right Stoid! I’ll just drink a toilet! That should give me a pretty wicked buzz…

Actually, a moon would be a better descriptor, so I can only rate your rant as a 9.9

Ah, heck, why should I be petty. Have a 10.0

I think that once the Irony Police do a thread search for “election” and “Stoidela” they’re going to be after you with dogs.

But I promise to keep the above (good) advice in mind if you will.

Yeah, bought a lapel button last year that sums it all up thusly:
"Stop complaining - half the world doesn’t CARE about your problems and the other half is GLAD you have them."

Undiluted Truth - ain’t it grand?

I’m living in a state of absolute gratititude for my life every day.

My anger and my angst about the election had nothing whatsoever to do with me personally and how Bush or Gore winning would effect my own life. My angst was for the country and the planet, and it still is.

And note my postscript.

stoid

Thanks Stoid. You are a fabulous, wonderful individual.

Stoid:

Gawdamnit, I was in the mood for a good pit-fight, and here you go getting, not only reasonable, but downright poetical.
What’s a guy to do? :smiley:

Seriously: great, great post!

Fenris

That was excellent.

I read the whole thing, and started thinking “Uh-oh, were missing something.”

Then I got to the disclaimer.

Nope. That about says it.

But goddammit, there’s NO CHOCOLATE IN THE FUCKING HOUSE!!!

I guess I shouldn’t tell you that I just spent the last 48 hours in a PS2 marathon.
Man I love that console.

SSX
TimeSplitters
Smugglers Run
Hockey
Madden 2001

Ahhhhh…

If you buy it for your son, he might promise to love forever, but the reality will be that you won’t see him forever:)

Hear, Hear!! Stoid, you are SO right! I am so tired of hearing my students whine about how tough they have it… and they don’t speak enough English for me to explain to them that they actually have it MUCH softer than their parents did (growing up in post-war Korea, for God’s sake!), and how much easier life is for them than it is for 99% of the people alive even now!

sigh I wish I could print out your rant and give it to my students, but they wouldn’t understand it…

Well, you can try babblefish if you have the Korean language on your computer. Of course, you run into the problem of this (first two paragraphs of OP):

Anyone it hangs but it referred. It spreads out and it drives to me which go mad. It is like that, you and you and from there it spreads out, ’ it does most inside nine three, and the don? The T listens to to me, comfort it sits in in me exactly and and rightly and it listens to. I? M only the gonna talks this one time. The lifetime is beautiful, it listens to. The rainwater it does and and it is good. It under preciousness you it were transparent, for it is big in your mask, that ttwung ttwung one fuckin ’ smile it has, you happening, the sun is one and that it sees the grudge multi thing, it spreads out, and angle one that et ess?
That’s sending it through Korean and back again. Even if only half that happens translating it once, that’s twice as much gibberish as any normal person can handle (and roughly equal to the legibility of some posters here).

Ya know what Stoid, I’m going to disagree with you about something here. I want these other people to bitch and moan. Whine, complain, howl at the moon for all the woes this world is throwing at them.

That way I can listen to their incessant bitching and think to myself, “Damn, I’m glad I’m not that guy.”
:smiley:

Well I have been crying all weekend. Crying in bed. Crying in the supermarket. Wandering the beaches crying. Wandering the streets crying. Crying to my friends, crying to strangers, but mostly crying alone.

The worst part is I know I have absolutely nothing to cry about.

Tommorow I call a shrink. I can’t keep up life like this. The pain I feel is just as real and just as dehabilitating as any pysical pain. Whats worse, is I know I have always felt this way, and I have just realized that I am probably always going to feel this way.

My friends tell me just what you are telling me. They tell me to “look on the bright side” and stop whineing. They don’t realize that there is no bright side in this mental pit. They don’t realize that the little brain chemicals for “doing okay” just arn’t there. When I don’t instantly get better with their advice, they decide they’d rather not deal with me.

And that’s why I have spent most of the weekend walking around by myself with tears in my eyes.

I guess what I am saying is I, too, have little sympathy for everyday whiner. And I have had times in my life when I was truely grateful for every moment, and could not understand how anyone could see life as bad. But there are some people out there that are clinically depressed. Sadness isn’t always a mood that you can just lift yourself out of. And those people could really use a little support (along with professional help). Telling them to buck up does them no real good, and could even make them worse. What they really need is a friend.