Could everyone keep my dad in their thoughts? He’s being transferred to a Pittsburgh hospital tomorrow, and we don’t know if he’ll make it. So much for going to Ren Faire again, but hey, family comes first. I mentioned Dad’s condition in the BBQ Pit (I’d give a link if I knew how, but I’m stupid like that), and it’s gotten worse and worse. Besides the cancer moving to his pancreas, they’ve found bacteria in the blood. I don’t know if there’s any hope for him. I got to see him today but he didn’t even speak to me or really acknowledge that I was there, though I talked to him and such. I know that I’m angry and sad for all my conflicting feelings. It hurts me too much to see him in so much pain, so then I feel driven away and rather be elsewhere than in the hospital. Mom interprets it as being selfish and gets mad and yells at me. She’ll never understand. I’m so tempted to run away from home, but I know that wouldn’t do anyone any good.
Ah, my faire-weather friends (okay, maybe not “fair-weather” because they’re very supportive of me but because of Ren Faire they had to go to bed early and leave me here) are sleeping now, so methinks I’ll go to bed, too, though I have too much on my mind to even think of sleeping. Maybe I’ll go eat some leftovers and cry. sigh :^(
There is very little I can say except: you have my best wishes, and I really hope all goes well for you and yours. By the way, conflicts with your mother are to be expected in such a difficult time. Just try to be there for each other.
As for the selfish thing… don’t take is so badly. When a loved one suffers or dies, our thoughts tend to go in a selfish direction. It’s a strange type of selfless selfishness, as much as that makes no sense. The selfless part of you suffers when you see your father in pain, the selfish part of you wants to protect you from that pain. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Again, all the best to you, your father, and the rest of your family. I shall send every good vibe that my body can conjure up.
Welfy,
I’m so saddened to hear the situation is looking worse. I just can’t imagine anything that would suck more. I echo Frannie on the vibes and prayers and such (though I’ll probably do more praying than vibing…not exactly sure how that works). As for the family, do lots of hugging and remember that people often do stupid stupid things when under tremendous stress.
Kiddo, I gotta get some sleep. But I would sure like to know for sure that you aren’t going to do any of those things you’ve mentioned on both threads, like cutting.
It sounds like there is nothing you or anybody else can do to help your father. He’s in God’s hands and that will determine whether or not he gets well. I know you’re real tired of being strong for him, but you cannot show your fear right now. But that doesn’t mean you can’t come in here and cry.
Now ya got ME doing it. Jesus, Welfy, take care of yourself, okay? I worry so.
Welfy…I’m truly sorry that things have turned worse. I haven’t been talking to you that long, but I’m always willing to talk to you and provide what comfort I can. Please take care of yourself. You’ll be in my thoughts {{{Welfy}}}
Hi Welfy!
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation,
I really wish I could do something for you.
But I know I can’t,
I can only say that I’ll be thinking of you
and your family and hope you have have strength
to go through this.
I also hope you have someone who is close to you
that you can talk to and cry with.
My best wishes to you.
Thanks you guys. All of the above posts have meant a lot to me. Much more support than what I’ve been getting at home. (((((big hug to all))))
Looks like I’m home alone for the day. For some reason my brother is allowed to go out with his friends, but I’m not. I’m still bummed about the faire (it would be gorgeous today… ::sigh::), but I remembered that one of my friends who I haven’t seen all summer was supposed to have a pool party today. I’d love to go except for the message left on the table: DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE AT ALL. Bummer.
I’m just like my dad. When his brother had a stroke, all Dad could do was sit and dwell on it. Mom would encourage him to get out of the house and do things with friends. Why can’t the same be done for me? It did Dad a world of good to leave and get his mind off Uncle Red, and it never hurt Uncle Red any.
I miss human contact. Heck, I’d even go to my neighbor’s house right now. I heard that they have puppies for sale. I wouldn’t mind playing with some happy puppies. But noooo…can’t leave.
Oh, isn’t it nice that Mom didn’t invite me to go along and see Dad? I had felt a little better last night thinking that since I wasn’t going to Ren Faire at least I’d get to see Dad. Nope, wrong again, welf. She left me a list of chores instead. Boring ones at that.
I feel screwed.
Guys, I would have been in chat last night when all this junk was going on, but the stupid chat servers were all down for some reason. None of them would let me in. Stupid computer…
I just wanted to write to tell you how sorry I am about your dad. You don’t know me (see post count!) but I have been lurking for a few days and have been impressed with you, so your posts about your dad really touched me.
I am sorry, but not surprised, that you and your mom are at odds right now. Maybe in the same way that you get angry at your dad, she is getting angry at you. You have a hard time seeing him in pain, and she has a hard time seeing you in pain. All of you are having to endure so much and you can’t make it all go away for each other, which is probably what everyone would like to do, if only they could. So she wants to know you are safe (she can’t protect your dad, but she can try to protect you) so she sentences you to be home. She doesn’t realise that being home alone is not good for you. sigh.
Your talk about hurting yourself worries me, although I know that talking this way is sometimes a way to say how much you are hurting. In any case, do you have hotlines in your town? If so, try calling and telling them what is going on with your dad. You should get a friendly, sympathetic ear.
All the best to you, Welfy. I am sending good vibes your way.
Aaaaa!!! How did that stupid smiley get in there? Ah well, it looked so silly stuck in the middle of my not-happy post that I couldn’t help but smile seeing it.
Thanks, Brynda. You’re impressed by me? I’ll take that as a compliment to carry with me today. I never thought anyone could be impressed with someone like me who never ventures over to the General Questions thread (okay, so I did start that question about asbestos but that was nothing to be proud about). ;^) Anyway, welcome to the board! I’m glad to have you here. Hope to see many more posts from you. hands Brynda a tuna cassarole that she burned down the house to make
Hey sweetie…you know, when you first came onto this board I didn’t welcome you officially. I’m sorry about that; so…uh…welcome and stuff (and winning the prize for awkward timing…).
I’ve known you for a while; I’m not sure if you remember me (“The poster formerly known as LauraRae”), but in any event, I’ve had a couple of years to “listen” to you. And you know what? You are a good person. You really are. It’s easy, very easy, to forget your age.
I’m echoing what my Llama said; remember that in times of tremendous stress, people can say or do some pretty hurtful things. Your mother may well be trying to do what’s best for you–and just failing miserably. Obviously she can’t be there for you the way she needs you to, but I’m thrilled that this internet rogue’s gallery can be.
Keep us informed, keep talking, and we’ll keep checking in on you. It isn’t fair, dammit. So again…{{{Welfy}}}
