Height also seems to help career advancement, at least if you’re male. I’ve spent my entire working life in small to large corporations, and have yet to meet a male corporate officer who is under six feet in height. In addition to being tall, they almost always have had full heads of hair as well.
But this is not “life”. Being cute and getting out of an occasional traffic ticket, or getting asked to dance doesn’t then make life ITSELF more fair or better. Just that particular instance better.
I’ve been on both sides of the “pretty coin”. I’ve not noticed that life itself has been any better on the pretty side.
The only difference there is the whole “men walking into walls looking back at you” and the occasional escape from a traffic ticket. If a company really made their choice based upon looks, that’s not the sort of place a person would want to work anyway. Other than a company with an immature person in charge of hiring, I don’t think that that is really that much of a danger to qualified “unattractive” people.
In some ways I miss being cute, but in a lot of ways there is a huge sense of freedom to no longer caring and to be able to put one’s energies into the career instead of “how does my hair or makeup look” or “OH MY GOD I’ve gained five pounds”.
To say Life’s Not Fair is a load of bullshit. Life is only as good as you choose to make it. I have experienced and seen things that alot would say is wrong, bad, or just immoral. For a long time I felt that same way and chose to use it as my reasoning for doing the things I chose to do and be the person I was. It always appeared to me that those who worked the hardest and strived to be the nicest, kindest, intelligent, and lovable people always got shit on the most and dealt the worst hand in life. I figured fuck it than, if I cheat others and do what is necessary to get where I want to be that’s all that matters right. So I chose to be angry at the world all the time and if I ruined somebody elses day or life for that matter at least it was them and not me.
Today, I’m 19 years old and see life from what I have been told is one of the most laid back, unique, and special ways to view it. I have always been known as the youngest person at the party, in the room, or basically the only one that was excepted as a close friend of people 2, 5, 8, 15, or even 20 or 30 years older than myself. For that reason I feel that I grew up much quicker than most and have been told that my wisdom surpasses my age by decades. I always had to party the hardest, stay up longer, and basically prove to those people who now are my closest family that despite my age I was worthy and capable of handling my own so that they could see me as an equal rather than a kid they had to watch. When I was about 12 years old I decided that I was going to prove all the people in the world who choose to talk shit about things they knew absolutly nothing about, but instead chose to follow the crowd and talk shit about people that deserved more and had been through things that were “Unreal” to a good majority of people wrong. I hated hearing people talk shit about things they thought they understood when I knew “REAL” mother fuckers that when they spoke you saw the truth and lived the experience in their eyes. It was that which motivated me to try so fucken hard everyday of my life despite the problems, bullshit, or obstacles placed before me and still be the only kid my age with ballz enough to hang with these people which most wouldn’t give the time of day.
That is why to this day and for the remainder of my life I live by a few simple rules which have given me my positive outlook about life because nomatter who you are or what life you may have been given everyone has shit that they must deal with personally. I figure that those of us that are given more than others are given it because we are the ones which can handle it and those that have it easier are those that are weak and could never survive if something real was to actually happen. Despite all the strife, struggles and adversity I’ve dealt with throughout my short life, I wouldn’t change a moment or experience for the simple fact that your past (the obsticles you must overcome or be defeated by) is what will determine who you will become. You can’t know where your headed unless you know where you’ve been right.
Here are my rules of life to live by which will I believe allow you to enjoy life.
- It is better to die on ones own to feet than to choose to live on ones own knees.
- Work Hard, but Play Even Harder.
- Realize you get one life, so make the most of it while you can.
To me these rules of life mean that you should always be proud of who you are and what you do in life despite what hand your dealt or role your given to play. As long as you do the best you can with what you have and strive to be the best at whatever you do in life you will never have a reason to be ashamed or feel like your beneath anyone. To accomplish anything in life you must always give your best without forgetting that your only human and you still need time for fun!!! Never forget the things which make you the happiest and value those things and people who deserve it the most. Finally, use the life your given to the fullest degree possible. Always be open to new ideas and experiences because the memories you make and ideas you have about life will determine how you view it.
If you read this entire opinion on why you should enjoy life for the fact that it’s easier to be happy and go through life looking forward to what will happen next rather than to always feel pissed off and dread what the future has instore I only hope it didn’t drive you to insanity and you really thought about what was said so that hopefully you gained something new and may look at life in a more positive way. Oh ya, I also believe that by following what I have said it may keep you from experienceing a mid-life crisis or any regrets about things you may have missed out on or things that you could have done but didn’t. Most importantly always try NOT TO WORRY OR SWEAT THE SMALL SHIT, BUT RATHER BE HAPPY BECAUSE IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE!!!
It’s true almost any obstacle can be overcome with a positive mental attitude and a good work ethic. But that won’t change the way the world really is, it only allows you to work around the obstacles they throw in your path.
It’s who you know, moreso than your talent, ambition or training, that dictates your breaks in life.
Aw, ain’tcha cute?
I dunno, I think that losing out on a great job because of circumstances that were not your fault and thus having to work a shitter job for shitter pay is a pretty big deal. A life-altering deal, as it were. Then again, we all know that that “don’t sweat the small stuff” jazz is an invention of the status quo to keep those of us who are downtrodden (and I’m not necessarily talking about me, other people have it WAY worse than I do) from questioning why it is that we don’t get ahead and challenging the establishment’s racism, sexism, classism, lookism, whatever. Tyranny by forced positivity, and all. Nothing has to change, as long as the plebs think they’re happy.
A good bullshitter will probably be more successful than an introvert.
Anyone said “work ethic” yet?
Having a good work ethic. Being reliable, responsible, trustworthy, and dependable, as boring as it seems, will get you ahead in the world.
I don’t think that it’s ever an issue where someone says, “Man, I’d really like to hire Candidate A, but Christ, she’s as ugly as the back end of a bus! Candidate B is an idiot, but she looks like Liz Hurley-- let’s hire her.” It’s much more subtle than that. I doubt if most people would even realize that they’re doing it.
I’m no raving beauty, but I noticed when I used to go out with my ugly best friend that I got better service. Cashiers actually sometimes looked right past her to me, and wait staff in resturants barely looked at her while being perfectly pleasant with me.
I think the point was that of two equally-qualified people, the more attractive person has an edge. People may not even notice it, but it is a very real phenomenon.
Let’s cut the bleeding-heart, sympathetic bullshit, shall we? Life isn’t fair, and you know it. Look at George W. Bush, Paris Hilton, or any member of the Kennedy family, and honestly tell me if they had to bust their ass to get to where they are.
Life is easier if you’re gorgeous. People are kinder to you, willing to do more for you, and willing to give you more of a break. This isn’t to say that gorgeous people don’t work hard, but they certainly get some breaks that they wouldn’t otherwise get.
Life is easier if you’re born into a rich family. Even if you screwed up in high school, dad can buy your way into some college out there, even Harvard or Yale if you come from the right family. You’re 16 and you just wrecked your brand-new Mustang the day after it was given to you for your birthday? No problem. Pocket change will buy another. Again, this isn’t to say that those born of rich families don’t work hard, but they certainly get some breaks that they wouldn’t otherwise get. Are we starting to notice a theme here?
Life is easier if you’re a member of the majority race in your country. I know that being white, blond-haired, and green-eyed has allowed me to avoid stares that say, “What the hell are you doing here?” in 99% of the public places I’ve been in.
Those who say that you can get anywhere as long as you want it enough are kidding themselves.
Excellent point.
Adam
If you’re hung like a horse. 
Again, I think we do kids a great disservice by drilling “fairness” into their soft little brains. It’s quite a shock when they enter the real world and find out the truth. You can’t necessarily blame them for whining. I’d whine, too, if I’d been taught the world was a magical, sweet-hearted place where everyone was concerned you got your fair share-- that you were entitled to it because it’s fair for you to have it.
My husband manages over five hundred employees-- state employees, so you can imagine the crap he gets about fairness. It’s absolutely an anathema to promote based on merit-- everyone should wait their “turn.” Merit is a dirty word-- it means that one person might get rewarded based on their own actions, and everyone who doesn’t do those things is left in the cold. Completely unfair. I’ve lost track of the number of times he’s been sued because he promoted Candidate A, who’s earned it, over Candidate B whose claim to the promotion is that he’s been here longer than Candidate A.
He’s faced outrage that he values a diploma from a traditional, respected school over a distance-learning diploma from College You’ve Never Heard Of, and woe betide him if he gives more credit to a diploma actually related to their field rather than one in The Philosophy of Basket Weaving or Ancient Sanskrit.
And, of course, they all have a blue million excuses why they didn’t complete their assignements, each of which must seem perfectly valid to the person making it, but seem ridiculous to a supervisor. They become outraged when their excuses are not held as important as others:
“You gave Cheryl an extra week!”
“Her mother died.”
“Yeah, well, I’m having problems, too! My son didn’t make the football team!”
While I agree that life isn’t fair (i.e., we are not born equal…not our looks, financial situation, social standing, educational opportunity, etc.), the “fairness” lesson we should teach our children isn’t to expect fairness (because that’s unrealistic), but to treat people fairly. Fairness, to me anyway, doesn’t mean everyone should come up equal in the amount of stuff they get or what school they get to go to. It’s about equal opportunity and equal respect. Both the rich kid and the ghetto kid should have a fair (equal) chance to attend Harvard if their grades are equal. I’m not sure most people look at it that way.
Well, I’m not so sure we should even be telling people that they do have equal opprotunity when in reality, they don’t. The ghetto kid, to be perfectly blunt, has a snowball’s chance in hell of seeing Harvard. Even if his grades were superb (unlikely given that he most likely went to a shitty school) and even if he could get a scholarship that would cover his tuition, how could he afford all of the myraid expenses that comes with going away to college? Money will always equate greater access and privledges.
I’ve often wondered if this optimistic if-you-try-hard-enough outlook was in of itself somewhat damaging. There are millions of people who bust their asses day and don’t end up as Great American Success Stories. They lead lives of quiet desperation, working as hard as they can but barely keeping their heads above water.
The implication of the if-you-try-hard-enough meme is that if you’re not a success, it must be your fault. We tell black and latino kids (and girls, for that matter) that they can be President when anyone looking at a row of presidential portraits could tell you that’s not gonna happen any time soon.
Does all of this create a bitterness against The American Dream? Do we urge a longing for prosperity which can never be realistically fulfilled while simultaneously forging a guilt complex?
We try to pretend we live in a class-less society, when nothing could be further from the truth. If anthropology has taught us nothing else, it’s shown us that it’s a fundamental part human nature to create class and status differences.
In the olden days of aristocracy and peasants, it was believed that peasants were poor because God had made it that way. He chose who was to live in the lap of luxury, and who was to suffer grinding poverty. The rich didn’t have to feel guilty-- they were simply living as God had decided they should live.
In this age, we blame poverty on lack of initiative because predestination is an idea somewhat in disfavor. In fact, we deny any obstacles at all-- that people are free from the cycle of poverty simply if they will it and that their options are limitless. The poor are portrayed as lazy and immoral, quite deserving of the circumstances in which they find themselves. We sometimes have an outright disgust for the poor.
Those whose acne vanishes early have an unfair advantage over those who still have acne at age 23.
That depends. Successful at what? I have yet to meet a truly extroverted mathematician who would spend a major portion of his or her energies on bullshitting well.
I just realized that my last post was ambiguous.
I don’t think that being an extrovert leads to bullshitting. But good bullshitting requires at least some extroversion. Being an extrovert is a necessary but not sufficient condition for being a good bullshitter.
And mathematicians tend not to be extroverts. So good mathematicians–ones who are very successful at being mathematicians–tend not to be good bullshitters.
God, that’s so pedantic.
Here are a few that have been tangentially touched upon:
Having parents who you are close to who you can fall back on - If a bunch of the other things that are so far going well for me suddenly went badly – if I got sick, lost my job, lost my house, alienated all my friends – I know for certain that my parents would help me out with time and money and love and housing until I got back on my feet. Not that they’d just pay my expenses forever, or anything. But they are THERE. I am NEVER in any danger of actually ending up literally homeless as long as they are alive.
Having skills that are in demand - I’m a very good computer programmer. I make a quite good living at it. I have a good friend who’s a very good editor, probably about as good as I am a computer programmer. She makes a MUCH worse living at it. If I were as good an actor as I am a computer programmer, I’d most likely be scraping the barrel to survive, or else might be fabulously wealthy, with a lot of luck. It’s good that my skills are in a field that is in demand. On the other hand, I’ve at times played on the Magic: The Gathering Pro Tour, and won some money. If I were luckier, Magic would be as popular as Golf or Tennis, and I would have won a lot more money.
Well, I suppose if it was a person’s goal to be a successful hermit, then being a good bullshitter wouldn’t be of much use. But if you want to be promoted, and generally “liked” by your colleges, you had better be a fairly good conversationalist.
I would have to say this is less true then you make it out to be. I come from a family of 4 that makes approximately half the median income of my area. I attend a UC school 110% on Federal and state financial aid(this includes government subsidized loans) and 0 scholarships. I say 110% because I actually enjoy a higher standard of living in college then I did back home.