What things make people have an unfair advantage over the “average” person? I can think of several things right off hand, I think number one is having good looks.
Rich parents.
Being born in the right place (say, not in Congo).
Height. Especially in the dating world (although I’m female and of average height and therefore not really subject to that bias, I still see it.)
Depends how superficial you are.
Personally, I’m not one to give much credit to anyone for something they were born with. It’s not like they had a choice in the matter.
The one sort of exception is intelligence. Sure some people are born smarter than others, but not everyone uses their intelligence.
I’m more impressed by someone of average intelligence who applies themselves than someone who rests on their natural intelligence and doesn’t develop it.
Family situation
Somebody born into violence and abuse is at a disadvantage to someone with loving parents.
At least an emotional advantage.
I disagree, it depends on how superficial everybody else is. I have seen pretty people get special treatment all the time.
– White skin, obviously. Racism is still a factor.
– A “normal” sounding name. There was a study done which showed that “ethnic” sounding names were a disadvantage when applying for a job. I’d imagine that complicated “foreign” names would also share this disadvantage.
– Adequate parental socialization. It’s so engrained in most of us, that we don’t even think about it, but polite social interaction is not innate. Our parents teach us how to be polite, which earns us friends, the respect of co-workers and customers, and eases our way through life.
Look at it this way, for a clerk in a store to look at you bluntly and say, “What do you want?” is perfectly valid. Of course, it’s more politely expressed, “How may I help you,” but people don’t instinctually or automatically know that. You need to be taught the language of politness, and just like any second-language, it’s something that takes years of careful training, and it’s easiest to acquire it while you’re young.
–Having a middle-class family. You benefit immensely thoughout life from your family’s help and your family’s connections. Many people get their first jobs though someone their parents knew, or in the same place where Dad works. Middle class kids often have their first cars purchased for them, or get help in buying one. (And a car is a huge advantage in life because it expands your range for finding employment.) They can also afford health care, meaning their kids are not out looking for their first jobs missing teeth or with a weeping eye infection.
They can afford college and are more likely to encourage it. Face it, if you’re not good in sports, and were only an average or poor student, there’s little chance you’ll go to college. If the parents are disparaging of higher education, or none of a child’s peers are planning to go, college can seem unnecessary.
–Living in a suburban area. Jobs have left urban centers, and public transportation is not always available.
– At least average looks. Ugly people–and I’m not referring to those of average or even below average appearance, but ugly– have a tough time in life. I’ve seen it. My best friend was ugly. She was ignored in stores and resturants, and had a hard time getting a good job though she had an excellent work record and a great personality.
Overweight people can face the same issues.
Ooh, another few I wanted to add:
–Being culturally educated. Most people who are voracious readers (unless they restrict themselves to brain candy like romance novels) are included in this category. It’s having an understanding of history, politics, and literature. It’s being able to carry on a decent conversation and having a curiosity about the world around you-- a skill which some people sorely lack. Not being able to understand common references makes you look like an idiot. Not knowing what’s going on in the world–and I’m not talking about small events in obscure contries, but things like genocides and civil war–does the same.
–Lack of pride. Pride causes most of the conflicts I see around me on a daily basis. People who “won’t back down” even if they’re not sure they’re right, and people who won’t say they’re sorry are annoying at best. No one likes them.
I see people who won’t agree to an idea because they didn’t come up with it, and people who want to fight because they feel they were “disrespected.”
– Being conformist. It’s almost blasphemy to say this-- we have a visceral reaction to that idea, having been programmed since birth that everyone is “special” and “unique” and we should all “express ourselves”. I think that teaching kids this is actually a disservice since the world pretty much expects us to be the opposite.
I’ve always shaken my head in puzzlement when I see lawusits undertaken by kids who want to wear bizarre or controversial clothing/piercings to school. I thought school was supposed to be training you for adult life: having to show up on time, complete assignments, accept a boring enviornment for long periods of time and obey a dress code.
Whether it’s right or wrong, people snicker at those who are oddly dressed, have flamboyant makeup or hair, oddly-placed tatoos or multiple piercings. The thought that goes through the minds of many is not respect for their individuality and admiration for their ability to express themselves, but “Wow, look at that weirdo.”
One needs to learn the ettiquette and dress according to the situation. While the fact that you did dress appropriately might not be noted, it will be noticed if you did not, and that’s the sort of negative perception that can be damaging.
–Not expecting the world to accomodate you. Everyone always has special circumstances, but you can’t expect the world to think they are as important as you do. People dash to the front of lines because they are in a particular rush, and some feel that their circumstances merit special consideration though no one else has been granted it. Some people fully expect others to work around them because of their religious beliefs or their family situations. The world does not take kindly to this.
–Not expecting everything to be equitable or fair. Life is not fair, as the title of the OP states. You are not always going to get what you earned, nor are people always going to treat you right. You’re going to get screwed-over many, many times. Bitch about it on the Dope, but in the real world, it’s par for the course. Those who stomp around in a workplace complaining and threatening are scorned.
–General pleasantness and courtesy. It sort of falls under the social training category, but it’s more than that. You are not going to like everyone with which you have to work, however, life is much easier if you can maintain a pleasant facade and put personal feelings aside in order to work together. I’ve seen countless things stymied by workplace animosity, which always strikes me as sheer childishness and a lack of professionalism. I’ve worked with people I despised, but was able to do my job and remain courteous.
Good health/lack of disability. As much as the after-school specials and talk shows try to deny it, physically and mentally handicapped people rarely make huge successes of themselves, and this has more to do with society than the individual person’s drive. This goes double for the people who were born, say, without the ability to walk and were thus socialized differently from “normal” children, probably brought up to expect less and rely on other people more.
Gender. We’re making strides in this area, but it is still a disadvantage to be female, even in the First World. Seventy-nine cents on the dollar, hello!
Sexual orientation and/or perceived sexual orientation.
Having the “right” religion for the place where you were born, not being a religious minority.
Assuming you are male …
If you were hiring a secretary and two candidates were essentially equal in qualification, except one was bug ugly and the other was cute as a puppy. Which one would YOU pick? Be honest with yourself now.
Man, this one really hits home. I have worked with people that reply “No” or “That’s not true” immediately after everything you say. I think it’s just a bad habit for some people, but it is rather annoying.
Having naturally curly hair. It sounds stupid, but my kid has beautiful curly hair, and it’s simply amazing how much total strangers fall all over him because of it.
Being naturally outgoing. I think it’s fairly easy to lump people into three categories: the majority of people are average in that sense. Then on one extreme, there are the extremely personable, extroverted, social types. The other extreme is true social phobia. I think that the easier it is for someone to interact with people, the easier their life is going to be.
I’m very tall (6’5") and it has given me an advantage. It’s weird, people just assume I know what I’m doing. Of course other things I do help too but I know it’s there.
Blood type - If you’re in an accident and you need lots of blood to save your life I’d say you’re better off being a universal receiver then a universal donor. Especially if supplies are at a critical level.
being born “mentally robust”. There’s probably some mental health term for exactly what I mean, but “mentally healthy” isn’t quite what I mean.
The ability to suffer really stressful stuff and maintain your mental health. Lacking any inborn tendencies to depression, pathological anxiety, substance abuse, etc.
Being right handed.
Healthy genes. It’s an advantage not to be born prone to genetic disorders or tendencies toward cancer, heart disease or diabetes.
On the other hand, being very tall is more difficult for women.
Also for women, having an average chest size is an advantage. If you’re too little, you’re seen as asexual and unattractive; if you’re too big, people assume you’re airheaded or cheap. Women with Bs and Cs seem to have it best. (And more superficially, those sizes have the best bras. I am sick of having to pay $20 for a plain black bra.)
Alphaness, if you’re male.