Lift that ass! Shake it at me! Open that door like a real woman!

I need a moment of light-heartedness now, and I’ve been meaning to post this for awhile.

I rent space in a large office building here in Prague. There are a few hundred workers for the main company here, with probably 60%+ being female. Owing to the fact that Czech women are, in general, f%$&^*g hot, I have my fair share of eye-candy to admire during the day. In addition, since they work for a foreign company, they are getting a higher-than-average salary, thus they wear fashionable clothes. Which, these days, are those low-cut slacks (yes they have the perfect bods for those) and during the summer (now) blouses that are generally cut higher and tighter, accentuating the waist and hips even more. Which is what I lust. Er, like, that is.

Now, my office is right next to one of the owner’s ‘Record’s Archive’ rooms, so I get a fairly constant flow of traffic walking by on a daily basis. The door to Archives is perpendicular to mine, so I get to see everyone entering and leaving from about 12 feet away.

All of the doors in this building have magnetic security pass locks. We have what looks like a credit card with our photo on it, and to unlock a door we have to touch the pass to a little black box on the wall near the door. The box goes ‘beep’, a green light comes on, the door lock goes ‘click’ and you can push or pull the door open. Thing is, you really have to touch the pass to the box, simply getting near it doesn’t work.

For some reason, most of the women like to clip the pass to their belts or their front pant’s pocket. Strangely enough, they like to do this on their left side. And these little black boxes are just a tad higher than the door handle, so they are a few inches higher than the average woman’s waist-height.

This is what I get to see about 10 times a day:

A pretty woman walks up to the Archive door and turns slightly away from me, lifts her hips to touch the pass to the black box, and then moves her hips around in little circles to get the pass to touch the box just right - effectively wiggling and swaying her perfect butt right in front of me.

The ‘beep’ of the box is just loud enough to cover the sound of my jaw hitting my keyboard. :smiley:




The law of unintended consequnces is grand, ain’t it?

Lets take up donations to get Tomcat a digital camera or camera phone.

THAT would be hilarious! I have a nice speed here too…“Streaming Archive girls” I wonder if I could start a soft-porn site and make some money?

We have those little card/pass things too. There are a few women here that wear theirs around their neck on lanyards. Thus we get the butt wriggling as described by Tomcat and we also get the “bent over at the waist” butt shot. If you are going the other way out the door you can even catch a little cleavage or down the blouse shot too. Life is good in the summertime. As the temperature goes up, the amount of fabric goes down.

[Lil’ Jon]
Lift that ass!
Shake it at me!
Open that door like a real woman!
[/Lil’ Jon]

[DJ Voice]Hey, that was Lil’ Jon’s latest single “Lift That Ass” off his latest album, set to be released this…[/DJ Voice]

Now a smart man would learn to fuck with the reader, so that even more ass shaking is required.

Oh yeah! I’m in!

When I was a young engineer at the World’s Second-Best Selling Commercial Jet Airplane Company, the desks that were coveted most were those by the ladies’ room.

Now, of course, I am older, and thanks to mandatory awareness classes, I realize that such an attitude results in a hostile workplace environment.

Yeah, I was about to say Sexuwall Huhrayusmunt! Sexuwall Huhrayusmunt! [/Gomer Pyle] :stuck_out_tongue:

Y’know, I have thought about the sexual harassment side of this…and I say screw 'em…No wait, really, there are a few things to note:

  1. They are turned away from me- they don’t see me drooling.
  2. They work for another company here. I have NO control over their jobs or careers.
  3. I have NO professional contact with them. I say hello to only a few of them in the hallway at most.
  4. Czech women often and openly complain about ‘Western’ women not being able to handle their femininity in the workplace. They often and openly laugh at the issue of sexual harrassment…Which is probably fodder for another thread, but I digress…
  5. Most Czech women I know would laugh at this. If I were to mention it to some manager of their company, it would most likely serve to only INCREASE the amount of wiggling going on once the word got around.
  6. I am 100% trustworthy and loyal to Wifecat, this will never escalate.

So I will just keep quiet and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy…


And most important question is…where do I send my resume?

I think we need a cite, here. :smiley: Make that several cites.

Is it legal to videotape the butt-wiggling? Is it moral? And do you have a camera? :stuck_out_tongue:

I was in Prague in '94.

Every woman I saw either

  1. looked 18 and TOTALLY FUCKING SMOKING HOT AND FLIRTY with short skirts and halter tops.


  1. 55 and totally obese and unhealthy with rotten skin and handkerchiefs wrapped around their heads.

I thought about taking one of the “18 year olds” back to America with me, but just couldn’t risk her turning into her mom.

I had a friend who worked at a hot-shot consulting company in Manhattan. Her office was directly across the hall from the men’s room. Every man who came out of the men’s room would look into her office, see her, and check his fly. She said ‘I went to Wharton for this?’

We have similar passcard sensors here at work, but they’re slightly higher than those described in the OP. I tend to carry my card in my hip pocket cos I’m a rebel, and if my face isn’t identification enough, then they can ask for the (goddamn) card.

When I’m being lazy I turn my ass to the wall and do a short leap to bring the card -still in my pocket- in contact with the sensor.

This has resulted in several ‘WTF?’ moments from colleagues (and on occasion, clients)…

I have to ad that today has been really hard to deal with…

The weather is warm, and it seems every beautiful woman in Prague got the memo to wear short skirts and/or thin blouses with dark bra’s or no bra at all in a tight fitting halter-blouse-type-thing (technical term)(What do you call those tops that the cloth X’s across the front and ties behind the neck?).

I swear I’m dyin over here. I need help! All you guys are invited!


Er, ‘add’ not ‘ad’

I’m on my way. No man should be forced to stare at hot women all day long without backup. And Beer.

God I love Czech women…