This being GQ, I feel compelled to offer a serious answer: Sound can travel over typical conversational distances in a time far shorter than human reaction time, so over such scales, light and sound can both be regarded as practically instantaneous. Further, while there are certainly some folks who appear bright until they begin speaking, there are also folks for whom the reverse is true, a fact which cannot be accounted for by differences in propagation speed at any distance.
I thought the OP’s question was mildly clever. It’s as least as good as “why do our noses run and our feet smell?” though I admit that’s not a major hurdle.
This thread is pure comedy gold, you guys! Reciting all those movie and TV references – it’s almost as funny as the clever and provocative question that started the thread off.