Like elephants? Need a job? Want to live in a warm climate? Then good news...

I don’t know why this amuses me so but it does and it’s definitely mundane and pointless. I live in Montgomery, capital city of a state so deep in proration that girls have to supply their own sanitary napkins in public schools and hiring freezes are pretty much everywhere, but one of the jobs on the City/County listings is for something that Montgomery is just crawling (or thundering) with qualified personnel for:

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I underlined some of my favorite bits and pieces are underlined.

The reason I’m posting this here is that I’m guessing the city hasn’t gotten deluged with qualified applicants (I’ve got 6 months experience working with elephants in a circus setting of course but it was 5 and a half years ago, dang it) and crazier things have happened: perhaps there’s some Doper who has a brother-in-law who’s just been sitting around the house depressed and listless ever since Armando had to go answer those questions about the talking chimp he raised and subsequently vanished, and til now said brother-in-law didn’t think that he’d find a job handling elephants in this recession, and I’ll have made some dreams come true. So if you know anyone who’s got the qualifications and needs work, tell 'em about the ad. But remember that if their experience came from Honest Thuy Langtosak’s EZ Kredit Used Elephant Sales then the guy from the Cirque du Utica may beat them out.

I’ve read Water for Elephants. I think I’ll apply.

ETA: Deadlines? There are deadlines in the pachyderm biz? I’ll just stay being an editor. No deadlines here.

Good luck, Sampiro.
Ever been to Riddle’s?

Is the requirement for running, supposed to cover the situation where th elephant is getting very angry? I don’t think anyone would need to tell me it’s time to run

Or just not watching where she is going. :slight_smile:

This thread isn’t pointless enough, so I need to ask about this:

Is this a change? I’ve never heard of schools providing any. At best, some schools stock a machine to allow you to buy them.

Hmmm… a thread with sanitary napkins and elephants in it. I suppose it was only a matter of time.

I shouldn’t, but I think I must:

Q: What does an elephant use for a tampon?
A: A sheep!

That’s Montgomery as well, except the machines are stocked with napkins brought in by the students. At the beginning of each school year parents are given lists of things to supply and the lists are embarassing: napkins (sanitary and lunchroom variety), pencils/pens/paper (for the school, not the student), paper towels, cleaning supplies, etc., because our education budget is that strapped. I knew one teacher who was rejected when she requested coathangers due strictly to budgetary reasons (she bought them herself- a dozen for a dollar or whatever- so students could hang their heavy coats in winter).

That’s just baaaaaaaaaaad.

The posted position isn’t without some risk. I think it’s important you also have a co-worker that can maintain a clear line of thought in stressful situations… and that wears grippy shoes.

Nothing surprising about a demand for trained elephant keepers. Those elephants don’t take care of themselves. Actually I guess they do, technically. But it’s probably not a good idea in Alabama.

I suspect it may be the “must be able to run” qualification that’s keeping applicants away. That sort of caveat really doesn’t inspire confidence that the Montgomery Zoo is running their elephant facility on a truly professional level. It also raises the question of what happened to the elephant keeper who previously occupied that position.

Elephants are marvelously intelligent creatures, which no doubt has its advantages and disadvantages. Elephant keeping is hellaciously dangerous by all accounts, but it probably has its rewarding aspects as well. Plus, it entitles you to put “mahout” on your résumé, and who wouldn’t want that? It’s worth it just to have an excuse to say it. Mahout! Mahout!

Fun fact: a full-grown elephant produces roughly 200 pounds of dung per day.

More to the point:

The birth canal of an elephant is so long that the umbilical cord breaks about half way along. I suppose that’s a good lesson for the calf in “Life Sucks”, but it must be a rough trip out.

Most amazing is that’s not including their own.

Another fun elephant act: elephants are closely related to dugongs and manatees, but one of their closest living relatives among land animals is the hyrax, an animal that rarely weighs more than 10 lbs…

Preference will be given to those applicants who have gained their experience in a zoo or circus setting.

Tarzan need not apply.

…or sitting.

You’re not kidding!

I see the job requirements don’t include shoveling. Without that, the running could be problematic.

Well, how many people are going to assume that an elephant keeper’s job doesn’t involve shoveling shit?

What kind of zoo is Montgomery running? You need those kind of qualifications just to volunteer at the L.A. Zoo. To actually get paid, you need a graduate degree.