Story Time!
My parents dragged me along to see Jurassic Park when it came out. I was about 13 or so. As we were leaving, a man asked his daughter, “How did you like the movie, honey?” Child responded, “The dinosaurs were scary.”
Some people should not be allowed to breed. Ever. Under any circumstances.
Except MsRobyn. We need many many more of her. dagnabbit, where’s that “applause” smiley?
As I’m sure will be beaten like a dead horse before this thread is through; it’s about knowing where is appropriate and where is not.
The restaurant you describe is borderline, but the theatre, bars, the gym (I’ll not debate the daycare angle, My gym doesnt have it, just kiddie programs), and others are just not cool.
I’m not big on baby visits to the office either, although that one likely won’t change. All I ask is that if you must bring the kiddies to work, if you really must, just accept the fact I dont want to deal with them… thats all I ask.
I’ve always hated to see toddlers and preschoolers running free terrorizing public places like stores and restaurants. Everyone always said “Oh, you’ll feel differently when you have kids” to which I always responded “Oh, no I won’t!” And guess what? I don’t! I only take my kids where it is appropriate for them to be, and I make sure they display proper behavior in public. If they don’t or can’t behave, we’re goin’ home, no doubt about it!!
All this has made me less tolerant of parents who refuse to control their kids in public, but more appreciative of those who are visibly working hard at it.
The maddening this is, many of these same places do their best to open themselves up to kids when the times are right. Our symphony has family concerts, and they also have an instrument “petting zoo” where you can bring 2-5 year olds to see the instruments up close. The library has a story hour. The gym has a “tumble tots” session two days a week. I can understand a parent wanting to expose their children to culture, to reading, to fitness, and to see that adults do these things. But it’s possible to do so without making things difficult for other patrons.
As for a baby or child, god yes bring them to the library; little kids should be exposed to books and reading early and often! But try to keep them in the kid’s area or near the checkout desk, away from the quiet areas. If they do start to have an outburst, do your best to get them out at quickly and safely as possible.
Exactly!!! And again, I am in NO way saying I’m some super mom, I’ve made plenty of errors along the way, but why is it that some people can’t seem to exercise basic good parenting and common decency when it comes to forcing their children’s behaviour upon perfect strangers?
Once, when my son was small, I was in a post office and was frantically trying to get him to behave. He was fussing and squalling and wouldn’t stop trying to yank on the ropes and harrass other people.
After about 3 minutes and about the same number of times he broke away from me and yanked on the rope, I picked him up by his overall straps like a little suitcase and hauled him out of there…
To thunderous applause by the other post office patrons. LOL.
Not to hijack, but I think part of the problem might be that people don’t feel free to discipline their children. Nor do the other members of the “village” feel free to assist them in it.
Do you remember when we were kids? If we even so much as DARED to be rambunctious or rude to a stranger, he/she wouldn’t HESITATE to put us in our place with a harsh and stern “you go back and mind your mother”!!!
And mom’s weren’t afraid of handing out well deserved butt swats either. I am NOT advocating child abuse here, I’m talking about a more insult than injury one-time swat on the fat of the butt. Neither of my children, once they passed toddler hood (and only got swats), got spanked more than once or twice a year, and got no spankings at all once they hit 9 or so.
But they still got punished. I remember once, my daughter thought she was being real sly and swiped a little bracelet from Long’s Drugs when she was about 13 or so.
I glanced over at her and saw her playing with it. She tried to claim a friend had given it to her at school. (with the price tag still on it?, lol). I turned the car around and marched her in to the store and made her hand it over to the manager.
Oh she hated my guts!!! And yes I felt awful that day. And still had twinges of guilt, until the lovely email she sent me telling me that she’s so glad I lived a “good example” for her and how it helps her in her every day life now that she’s an “old married lady” of 23!
Eeks, how I run on. Anyway, the moral is, even if one makes mistakes, if you try and parent the best you can rather than just let them run wild so that you’ll be their “buddies” your kids will turn out SO much better.
Beg to differ. I take my kid there, both with and without my wife. Its not like its a strip club or anything…Its just a chicken wing resturant with slightly suggestive name. In fact, kids eat free on saturdays at hooters, so its a great place to bring your children.
Today was Bring a Toddler Day at the American Museum of Natural History in NYC, and nobody told me. I was so :o !
Now, of course museum are good places for kids. And they should be started young. And there were a few little darlings around, staring at the dinosaurs and giant sloths and models of neutron stars wide-eyed while holding securely onto Mom or Dad’s hand, who were ready. Then there were the other 99%.
Look, I know it’s cold today, and I know some of these kids have older siblings who want to see the Museum and babysitters are expensive, but maybe the kids shouldn’t be ducking under the railings and climbing the Williamette Meteorite, hmmm?
There are some kid-friendly places in the Museum, and new rooms like the dinosaur halls and the Planetarium have been designed with glass walls around the whole railing so the kids can’t crawl in and tug the Apatosaurus tails. But maybe a couple of hours at a time is all a kid can take.
This is exactly what our house is like. We have no kids, and one of our cats who had never seen a toddler in her 5 year life was completely freaked out when she first met one. She was a hair away from shredding the kid when the mom grabbed him up and took him out. I would never knowingly let my cat hurt a kid in our house, but I do warn parents that our (non-declawed) cats are not used to kids, and for their own good, keep them away from the cats. And for the health of the child, keep them away from our stuff, too (so they don’t hurt themselves, and so we don’t hurt them when they break something valuable to us.)
They aren’t? I better tell my wife about this, it may complicate things when our first one gets here.
I kid.
That really depends on the kid. I myself was a picky eater when younger, but several cousins of mine are/were not. Two of them love to try new things and will eat almost anything (tofu, curry, Thai food, etc) and one when little her fave dish was… escargots.
These same kids are, for the most part, extremely well behaved. I wish some parents were able to control their kids as well as my aunts and uncles have done with my cousins.
I have no kids, but I was with my sister in law and my neice in Tesco before Christmas. SIL was at the checkout so 2 and a half year old neice and I were looking at the toys in the toy aisle.
She was pointing out each of the toys and telling me the names of all the cuddly characters and what not, when I looked up and saw that her mother had finished at the checkout, so I said “Come on Neicey, time to go”
She took my hand and turned to go.
There was a woman stood nearby, pulling two little screaming sprogs out of the shelves and her chin nearly hit the floor.
She asked me how the hell I had managed that.
Err, maybe because the parents have trained the child?
Parenting skills seem to have gone out of fashion and this results in uncontrolled and uncontrollable brats.
Having said that, though, I think there are many places children should not be, regardless of how well-behaved they are. Pubs certainly; films for which they are under age and as for the tale of the baby at the symphony, good grief!!
I have not spawned, but I started taking one niece and one nephew out to restaurants, stores, and certain music clubs in their pre-teens – but we’d already (thanks to my sister) established certain ground rules:
These are basically the rules my parents laid down for me when I was about five for public behavior, minus the “I will paddle your butt until you can’t sit down for a week” clause. My deal with the little heathens was “If you can’t abide by these rules, tell me; maybe we’ll go out in another few months. If you agree to them and break them, I won’t take you out for a year.”
But they agreed, and it worked, and I got compliments on “my” exquisitely well-behaved children; they got remembered and got treats in the restaurants we frequented, and life was good. And I have the satisfaction of knowing that at least two of my siblings’ spawn are well-behaved in public, and that their kids will probably be.
I completely agree with the OP!!! Thank you …thank you…thank you!
BTW…when I was an infant/toddler/young child…If my parents could not find a babysitter, guess what…they did not go out!!!
If they wanted to see an adult movie at the 9 pm show…guess what??? They called the grandparents to babysit. They weren’t selfish by dragging their poor kids out and about at 9pm at night!!!
Oooh! I know the soccer moms are gasping right now. Good.
Children do not belong in a restaurant at 7-8 pm at night. It is BEDTIME. Yes bedtime for the children. Not a cute “family time” to take the rug rats to Ruby Tuesday’s, etc. smacks head
There are even idiot mothers who take their infants to the hair salon while getting their acrylic nails done. The baby cries, and the mother cannot do a thing. Unbelievable. Let’s not be selfish now.
This amazes me. I wish I had the guts to say something the next time my hubby and I are in a bar/grill and the rug rats are complaining and carrying on like spoiled brats. Guess what…GO HOME…It’s past your bedtime!!!
The racetrack is another place that may not be suitable for children.
Sure, kids like to look at the horses and they seem to enjoy the excitement of a race. But unless the parent can ensure that Junior is not going to get in the way of the other patrons; or worse, be left alone somehow, then the child should not be there.
I well remember the time at the track when, with about two minutes left to post, a parent decided it was time to let her toddler navigate the stairs of the grandstand on her own. While Mommy was alternately beaming proudly at Toddler on the stairs and screaming at anybody else who dared to try using the stairs to get around Toddler (“Can’t you see she’s a child? You might have hurt her in your rush. Slow down!”), a group of would-be bettors were scrambling over chairs and seats and other patrons in an effort to get to the betting windows before the windows closed.
In another case, I noticed a little girl of about ten holding a mutuel ticket and standing outside one of the bars at my local track. She stood there for a while; somebody finally had the good sense to call a security guard to see if the girl was lost. No, apparently her father had handed her a winning ticket and told her to cash it (minors cannot purchase or cash tickets) and then to meet him in the bar (being a minor, she could not enter the bar). So she stood, waiting for her father to come out.
No, unless you are prepared to spend the entire day with your children, and will keep them out of the way of the other patrons, perhaps the racetrack is not the place to take kids.
How dare you insult my family that way. My kids would never do something like this.
It was me.
Regards,
Shodan
I don’t have kids, and I hate a screaming brat as much as the next person- but arn’t you guys being a little harsh? Kids are a part of our society, and they are our future. Yeah, they don’t quite have all the rules of society drilled into them yet, but they’ve got to learn somewhere. We can’t just hide kids in closets until they are old enough not to make people uncomfortable.
Plenty of people are raised by single parents. These kids pretty much have to be dragged around on errands. It sucks being a kid while your mom is stuck in line at the post office, but it sucks even more when the electricity gets shut off because the bills arn’t paid.
As for restraunts- how are we supposed to get any culture into our kids if we consistantly tell them that McDonalds is the only thing they should want to eat. Do you know how many kids are needlessly picky eaters simply because we train them into thinking that hamburgers and french fries are the only food they should like?
And what do you know about their bedtime, anyway? Maybe their parent works swing shift. Maybe they take afternoon naps. What business of your is it when other people’s kids sleep?
Anyway, it drives me nuts to see parents let their kids run out of control. But I understand that being a parent puts you in some pretty tight spots- especially if you can’t afford babysitters on a regular basis. And I understand that the cultured worldly adults of tommorow have to start somewhere. It is not a good thing to keeps kids hidden in the family room watching the Disney channel all day. Maybe I just find it a bit refreshing to sometimes be around people who havn’t had all the life and vitality badgered out of them by social propriety yet. Anyway, I think we ought to cut parents some slack, especially if they are honestly trying to keep their kids under control.
I agree with you, even sven. As a parent of small children, I am very sensitive to where or where not to bring them. We don’t go to the opera, non-kid movies, bars, or late night places with them. And I too am irritated when kids act up and their parents don’t do anything about it. We DO go to family restaurants, the library (kid’s section), church, shopping, etc.
But we want our kids to be able to behave properly when the day comes when we want to take them to a fancy restaurant, classical concert, frufru boutique or someplace else that requires a modicum of decorum, so we take them places and “practice”. We’re getting there, but my 4 year old likes to run around and make pronouncements of his discoveries. We’ve never had anyone frown at him or us, just the usual bemused “kids will be kids” looks.
My rambling aside, the point you made about the cultured worldly adults of tomorrow starting somewhere was what I thought was right on; how can we expect kids to learn to behave if we don’t take them anywhere and teach them how to behave when there?
I guess I am just a little sensitive because I grew up in the ghetto. Our schools were abysmal. We couldn’t afford fancy summer camps and day schools. Our libraries were small, sad, and mostly closed. If it wern’t for my mother taking time out of the single-parent gig to expose me to culture by taking me out of museums and intersting restraunts and cultural events, I would probably still be there in the ghetto, and not an intellectual college student.
I agree; parents should take their kids out in public and teach them how to behave. But first, please teach them proper table manners (for example) at home; when they’ve learned there to an acceptable degree, then take them to McDonald’s; when they’ve learned a bit more there, then take them to a family-style-sit-down restaurant; and so on. Please do not start the lessons at an intimate little French place where my sweetie and I have come for a romantic evening and expect to pay $150 for dinner, including the proper ambience. Your (generic “your”) 4-year-old running around and babbling and stopping at our table to stare at us is not going to contribute to said ambience.
Similarly, start your kids off on the theater experience by taking them to kiddie movies; then when they’ve learned to behave a little better, take them to a PG comedy; and so on. Please don’t take them to see “grown-up” films or live plays until they have learned to sit quietly in their seats and are capable of paying attention and appreciating the performance.
Music – same thing. I am much more forgiving of children running around during an outdoor folk concert with grass-and-blanket seating than during a $75-a-seat symphony performance.
Please, parents, choose your “practice” venues carefully. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the rest of us to expect adult behavior when we specifically choose an adult venue. It’s not a prejudice against children in general; I would not accept immature, noisy, inappropriate behavior from adults either, and if the kids can behave properly, they’re more than welcome.
Well, as long as someone brought up Jurassic Park…
When my wife and I saw JP in the movie theathers, we took along our oldest son, who was not yet five years old. Throughout the entire movie, all the kid did was kick and turn over in his seat. He did not sit still for a single moment. I tried to convince him to sit still and stop kicking, but he absolutely refused to be still. He did this for pretty much the entire movie.
He was born about four months later… )
Zev Steinhardt