My friend SouthernStyle may say
That “tune out” is the best way
But I say “Get involved”
And the problems you’ll solve
Will lead us to a better day.
The criterion for which I’d push,
Would be “vote for the sexiest tush”,
But menfolk can not,
excite me a lot,
So I’ll vote for the sexiest “Bush”.
Sorry I brought it up 
There once was a poster of poems
Who wrote about Al, George, and moaned
But the Hippie did mind
This political rhyme
So I’ll post on that subject no more
There once was a tom cat named Boone
Who liked to meaw at the moon
On several occasions
He received mass abbrasions
When the neighbors did not like his tune
There once was a Pastor from China
Who preached to the quire to pray finer
‘You must not miss a day
And each night you must pray’
So they answered him flat in D minor
I’ve tried limmericks before
and my talents won’t open the door
my rhymes do please
rythymless is a disease
so I end up where I began, the floor
My pal Trade has stopped by again,
His posts stand quite tall among men,
Though frequent he’s not,
his posts add a lot,
And get me to ask, “where ya been”?
Get off of the floor, Saint Zero
I’ll show you the way that is clear-o
To make yourself merry,
Get a rhyming dictionary
And you’ll be a limerick hero!
We last three have in common
We all registered in May 2000 (I know it’s a stretch)
Though I was here first,
My post count’s the worst
I am the slow posting shaman.
(Thanks, Chief. I couldn’t find the second rhyme to “zero”.)
Your posting need not be prolific,
As long as your rhyming specific,
The meter may not,
be terribly hot,
To give it a shot is terrific.
Hey, with such praise I’ll not quit
if I give it a try, anything will fit
the meter,is it fixed?
or can it be mixed?
I guess practice makes perfect,not sh*t.
Couldn’t pass it up.
The Styler does compliment me
To say we are pals I’ll agree
But I do fear an error
He made to my terror
Saying I should post more frequently
There once was a Limericking Chief
That his posts were too few, his belief
To that I will say
You can fix it today
By posting more limerick relief
(limerick relief: LOL. Now the office is looking at me very strangely – wait a sec – they already do that…)
Hey Chief, a little advice,
To help your limericks look nice,
Just take your rhyme,
and put it to time,
And throw in a sexual vice.
What a merry quartet you all make
but may this truant spider partake?
I’m giggling with glee
at your posting spree.
You guys are a stitch, no mistake.
Your posting is welcome and fine,
Of course this opinion is mine,
Would it not be kind,
for me to remind,
The quote that a “stitch in time saves nine”?
I’m a novice when it comes to this
I doubt if my limmericks are bliss
but I’m trying
there is no denying
that soon I’ll hit more than I miss
Your postings are already quaint,
Offerred SouthernStyle to the Saint,
Your rhyming is swell,
and you soon will tell,
whether you are a “will” or an “aint”.
Style, Spider, Saint and now Chief
On humor are none of you brief
Some others here too
Have added a few
But where is the Hippie? Good Grief!
There once was a techie named Bart
In technical matters real smart
But a loser on dates
And finding new mates
'Cause he’d eat, drink, piss, barf and fart
Where’s Hippie? The query is fine.
I love that you like what is mine.
But I truly believe
From what I perceive
That y’all’s lim’ricks are really divine.
A bluenosed old prude of St. Kitts
Said, “When speaking of delicate bits,
One must be discreet,
And not use such street
Slang as cock, cunt, arse, bollocks, and tits.”
Spider’s limericks bawdiness lack
because she does not have the knack
of swearing with verve
(and does not have the nerve)
so others must take up the slack.
If others want to try their hand
at limericks, why, that would be grand!
here is the link
so you won’t have to think
I wish that I’d had it beforehand.
[My favorite brother e-mailed me the link last night after I got the idea from Chief Wahoo’s post about a rhyming dictionary]
What Spider and Chief have proposed
Though helpful, they should be kept closed!
Both link and thesourus
Are like a cheat for us
We should use our minds, heaven knows