Although I somewhat agree
it may entice others to be
amateur rhymers
and in with us chimers
to help us continue this spree.
Until yesterday I had not
known of this versing-help spot.
But unless I am stuck
I’ll trust to my luck
and keep dreaming up my own plot.
Good gosh Spider, I never knew,
That your limerick was not really true,
You’ve shown us a link,
that taints you with pink,
And gives me a feeling of blue.
But forgiveness is called for this day,
For the Spider did most clearly say,
That she didn’t know,
or surfing did go,
To the web page until yesterday.
Spider, you need no help. I know I do, but I still refuse to seek it…
There once was a Traderous bastard
Of his own talents not a big master
But he thought he would try
A new format, oh my
It turned out to be quite the disaster
Check it out here, be gentle
Sorry I’ve been long away
But I had a terrible day
With problems galore
And many in store
It’s enough to turn my hair gray.
To make a limerick fun
Always include a good pun
To make it sublime
Take the last line
and use two rhymes instead of just one.
(example)
A voracious alligator
Took a new job as a waiter
But a hesitant matron
Was his very first patron
So rather than wait 'er he ate 'er.
To critique your rap I’ll not be snob,
It’s long on wit and short on macabre,
Though limerick it’s not,
a rhythm it’s got,
But please, don’t give up your day job.
morning brings a new day
which means more time to play
I’m back to the rhyme
just in the nick of time
to raise the thread, and be hero in a way
practice makes perfect, I admit
with these few lessons, I get
the idea of limmericks
and learn their tricks
and how to make strange words fit.
There once was an alligator
Who took a new job as a waiter
His very first patron
Was a hesitant matron
So rather than wait 'er he ate 'er.
Hi, I’m Tabithina, new mom.
I’ve observed that y’all write with aplomb.
I will try to keep versing,
between diapers and nursing,
and cleaning up messy drool-bombs.
There once was a woman and fellow
who would screw in a vat full of jello.
They were happy and giggly
until he grew quite jiggly,
and they both would be sticky, but mellow.
I have two dogs; fixed, when I bought 'em.
Who once knew Nature’s rules, but forgot 'em.
They hump and they bop
with the female on top,
and the poor, confused male on the bottom!
There once was a man, who does now stick
to his blow-up doll, airy and plastic,
since his wife, feeling blue,
filled its orifice with glue–
Now, wasn’t that just a bit drastic?
(See what you guys have done to me?? LMAO!!
I did these w/o the rhyming dictionary, but thanks for the link… I think my brain’s tapped out now!)
–Tabithina
Oy Vey! Now do I have to be funny?
Witty I am, but in jokes I’m a dummy
laborously I think
my humor does stink
moldy oldy and dusty, like some mummy.
Welcome aboard, Tabathina
Your wit is obviuosly keener
Than many others
That are also new mothers
And dealing with poop that is green-a.
Again I sit here and type anew
thinking vainly of limmericks to do
this is getting harder
perhaps I should raid my larder
and as Paul Harvey would say, “Page Two”
To Southern, thank thee for thy words
My rapping was so bad it hurt
But you went easy on me
And I do agree
To quit my job would be absurd
There once was a new mom with rhyme
Who entered the thread with sublime
Intentions to please
My mind she did tease
With humping and jello, how fine!
There was a tailor of a Queen
Who pandered to her self-esteem
To tell her the truth
About her long-lost youth
Would mean he’d be split at the seams
I am thinking that I must be daft,
since this weekend there’s a show for my crafts.
'stead of making my jewelry,
I’m enjoying this foolery,
and I’m cutting my work-time in half!
There once was a lady who had gone
to purchase a dildo. On a good one
Her attention did center,
Till it gave her a splinter.
One wouldn’t want a wood one, now would one?
–Tabithina
You know it cannot be good
To pleasure one self with some wood
If she’d ask hubby could he
Come up with his woody
I know that he would if he could
(shit, that’s tooo iffy.)
There once was a horny young lad
So proud of the tools that he had
To ladies, to sway them
His tools he displayed them
Got called lude and crude and a cad
The SDMB had gone down
Bringing to Spider a frown.
Though the real world is sweet
it just can’t compete
with the SDMB of renown. :eek:
There once was a tenor stentorious
who believed his own voice to be glorious
though his prodigious singing
left many ears ringing
his vocalizing was just boring us.
Tabithina is caught in the claws
of rhyme fever; it’s making her pause
from other duties and pleasures
but she’s showing her measure
with meter and humor and clause.
A farmer once fell fast asleep,
out in the barn where he kept his sheep.
Awoken rudely by a ram,
who thought he was a “ma’am”,
Strictly out of there now he will keep!
–Tabithina
tradesilicon has made an attempt
from this limerick turf to pre-empt
but he found as a rapper
he wasn’t as dapper
so back to the circus he limped.
Though at rapping he’s just an apprentice
he’s more of a masterful limericist.
This thread he’s still lengthening
and others are strenghthening
the numbers of lyricists.
Thought the limerick is quite the art form
I thought why not try and perform
Something slightly less formal
And I feel it’s quite normal
That my first attempt bring me some scorn
But as you say Spider, back to the limerick!
There once was a Lady of Note
Who sang, and she danced and she wrote
But what gave her most pleasure
And the thing that she treasured
Was the old five-line-long anecdote