If your limericks are getting boring
you should wait and try in the morning
get some coffee in your veins
pop a few amphetamines
and the verses will start pouring
O.K. First I have to rant:
On “reverend” Fred Phelps I’ve a thought
I hope his arteries clot
On his tiny brain
Should come unbearable pain
On all of humanity he’s a blot
As hate and ignorance spread
I blame a “reverend” named Fred
The Bible he quotes
It’s too bad he votes
Cuz now science all Kansans dread
The cursed Westboro Church
Is truly an unholy perch
It spews vile hate
It just doesn’t rate
For Truth I’ll continue the search
Now a couple of lighter ones:
I’m glad that I use a T-1
Any less just isn’t as fun
I tried DSL
And @Home as well
But I couldn’t make Roadrunner run
Oedipus, Oedipus Rex
The Oracle’s words you vex
You try to do right
But it’s fate that you fight
Your mother’s been giving you sex.
And finally, an homage to the gifted OP:
Tennhippie’s truly the master
of witty iambic pentameter
With a quick turn of phrase
He’ll always amaze
We who can’t think ‘em up any faster
Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
I hope we will soon see the end
Of this Limerick making trend
I’m hoping we’ll shed
Needs to add to this thread
I think Tennhippie needs to make some ammends!
You guys write these poems too easily!
As for me, it doesn’t come so craftily.
I think and I thunk,
but out comes just junk.
So I think I’ll give up rather hastily!
“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
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…c.c…c.c…
It’s clear that he’s literally prolific,
Poetic, and limerically terrific,
So I like this thread,
TennHippie’s far and ahead,
Of the rest of us (to be specific).
All of the things y’all have said
Have made my face turn quite red.
But I love the battery
Of both flame and flattery
It swells me…no, not that head!
Suppose posts to the pit had to rhyme?
Posters would probably take more time.
If we all flame in meter,
It’ll improve our demeanor,
And our slagging would then be sublime.
Every night as I lie down in bed,
I find myself pond’ring this thread:
“Must I give up the ghost
Or should I dare to post?”
…I await your responses with dread.
Wordsmith: One of the elite few who knows that George Herbert Walker Bush was a Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog.
Fellow Southerners should best avoid
That windstorm known only as Floyd.
If you shun my advice
And say “Rain might be nice”
Then you should be prepared for the Void.
Wordsmith: One of the elite few who knows that George Herbert Walker Bush was a Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog.
I am just a Lurker by nature
Though my posts’ shall grow greater and greater
But here I must stand
In Limerick Land
And Protest this Demeaning Behavior
Such great minds we have seen here
That shout out to those far and near
Their opinions and fame
They’ll loudly exclaim
That us newbies tread only with fear
But now I see other sides
Of those overwelmingly brilliant minds
Bad rhythm and rhyme
Time after Time
is just tourture of the cruelest of kinds
Ahh, new posters, new meat
Whom we may with words beat
Over their head
Until they’re red
Or fallen flat onto their seat
SUN-E-VU DAIRY- Have you cut the cheese today?
I see that you’re waxing poetic
Or perhaps I should say pathetic
Please wait till I’m done
'Cause this Post is in fun
I thought your rhyme was terrific
Myths persist with annoying tenacity,
As if we had not the capacity
For common sense and logic
To take on the project
Of determining a legend’s veracity.
Good Morning!(he says with a yawn)
I greet you along with the dawn
I’m sitting at work
Gonna work while I lurk
While Floyd just blows on and on.
There once was a storm named Floyd
I was hoping it would avoid
The place called Raleigh
'Cause that’s where I be
This is a pain in the ass - Yes, a hemmorhoid!
The same old masturbation got bland:
For a thrill I’d “cheat” with my left hand.
It became so habitual,
This ambidextrous ritual,
A foot may be my next one night stand.
There once was a woman from Wheeling
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And started to pee on the ceiling.
Satan doesn’t want any therapy,
So I thought that I’d write a small parody.
Because of his Satan complex
He’d rather talk about sex
With a stripper or someone named Heatherlee.