Physical dependency is when your body malfunctions when the substance is withdrawn, regardless of whether you think you need it or not. For example, when you stop taking opiates or alcohol, all sorts of bad things can happen. Actually heavy caffeine users can have some serious physical dependency, though it’s not life-threatening.
Psychological dependency can be about one or two different things. There’s a strict definition where you just think you need the substance a lot more than you do. People quitting marijuana will be very anxious that they can’t face life without it, they’ll avoid quitting for years. But when they finally do rip off the band-aid and quit, they often find it was a lot easier than they thought, and they wonder why they didn’t do it earlier. Psychological dependency.
Then there’s a more broad definition of psychological dependency in which the substance has actually done stuff to your brain chemistry that withdrawing the substance will produce some severe effects on your mood (irritability, depression, anxiety, etc). So not any effects that you directly feel in your body, but psychological effects that are definitely caused by physical change in your brain chemistry.
As far as addiction, there’s surprisingly little agreement on how to define it. In my opinion, addiction is when a chemical dependency hijacks your behavior to the extent that you’re making choices that negatively affect important aspects of your life and the people around you.
Coffee forms some surprisingly strong dependencies in all the ways I mentioned above, it really hurts not to have it if you’re dependent on it. But not to the degree that it’s going to make you rob a liquor store, prevent you from sustaining long-term employment, or compel you to give handjobs behind the 7-11 to get money for your next latte. If you can’t get coffee you’ll just be uncomfortable for a few days/weeks and then get over it.
And as far as this question -
I guess the question is, why does this matter to you? You can sustain a coffee habit for a lifetime. Sometimes there are good reasons not to, like high blood pressure. But it sounds like you’ve got a negative stigma in your mind around addiction as a concept, and you’re wondering if that transfers to your coffee habit. A degree of puritanism if you will, in fact you mentioned the LDS church as someone who might judge you.
Only you can really decide what that means to you. Maybe you feel more psychologically secure knowing you’re strong enough to get through life without a substance, that you won’t be hurting if coffee goes to $80 a pound, that you have mastery and control over your moods and mental states. Those are all certainly worthy goals to pursue if you feel like it.
But otherwise, if caffeine isn’t increasing the risk of anything like high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, or mood problems, you don’t need to judge yourself an addict. You’ve got a habit, everyone’s got one, it’s fine. But if you’re accepting that you’re a lifelong caffeine user, you should of course be getting physicals to uncover any potential reason that you shouldn’t be using caffeine.