I umpire Little League baseball games, and often when a pitch sails untouched to the backstop, missing the plate by 6 feet, I’ll quote Bob Uecker…“juuuuust a bit outside”.
Whenever anyone ponders ordering cannoli for dessert: “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”
And “kill them all, let God sort it out” pre-dates the Simpsons by, oh, 700 years.
Damn it,Jim,I’m a doctor,not a (whatever)
Holy. Shit.
The Tooth, you just went up a notch in my book.
That puts you at notch “One”.
If I want to imply that what my daughter is saying is boring, I say
"That is so interesting, Mrs. Nesbitt. (From Toy Story)
Sometimes, my daughter says to me, “You keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.”
Then, there’s “life is pain…, anyone who tells you different is selling something.”
(The previous two are from The Princess Bride. )
Gotta admit, I don’t do quotes much, but there are a few that I’ve been known to utter.
Whenever something goes completely wrong: “Forget it, Jake, it’s Chinatown.”
When someone takes a misstep: “Aw, he’s no fun, he fell right over.” (Firesign Theatre)
When asking directions, In Russian accent: “Excuse me, we are looking for the nuclear wessels.” (Star Trek III, is it?)
When someone asks my age, from an old Blasters song: “old enough to know the score, young enough to want more, more, more.”
Damn. Beat me to this one.
I like:
“Help Me Jebus!” Homer Simpson
“…or X, if you’re into the bevity thing.” The Dude
After an off-the-wall remark, I will say in a monotone voice “I have no responce for that” from the neurotic sister in Joe vs. the Volcano
“Now, and this is for posterity, how did that make you feel?” The Princess Bride
IV, actually, affectionately dubbed by my friends and I as “So long, and thanks for all the fish”
I thought of more as I was driving home this evening, but naturally I forgot them all by the time I sat down here. :smack:
Well, I’ve picked up scattered bits of profanity–“frell” from Farscape, “noy j’taht” from Pirates of Dark Water and such. I also use Monty Python quotes at the drop of anything that even resembles a cue, but no particular line enough to really qualify as a catch-phrase.
I do, however, spout some of Uncle’s catchphrases from Jackie Chan Adventures occasionally, usually when I’m hanging around with my niece and nephew. These include, but aren’t limited to:
“Do you want a piece of Uncle?!”
“Getting to that!”
“One more thing…” (repeatedly)
“No such thing, ‘too much garlic’.” (when cooking or eating garlicky foods)
And, of course, “Aiya”, which is such a useful word that it’s made its way into my everyday speech, not just my Uncleisms. The others are all spoken in a testy old man voice.
I suddenly thought of one that comes up on rare occasions. Whenever there’s a large formal dinner involving extended family and somebody asks me to say the blessing (not a normal part of meals when there are fewer present) I refer back to The Vikings (Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, Ernest Borgnine, Janet Leigh – late 50’s early 60’s) and yell at the top of my lungs, “ODIN!!!”
Just off the top of my head (and I don’t think any of these are at all obscure):
“Laugh while you can, monkey boy!”
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
“My days of not taking <insert name here> seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”
“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
I use many of the ones already posted here, primarily from Monty Python (“Now go away or I will taunt you a second time”), Princess Bride (“Have fun storming the castle!”), any Tarantino movie (“Are you gonna to bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite?”), etc., etc.
But two of my favorites is uttered by the brave and fearless Jack Burton in Big Trouble in Little China. The first is fairly all-purpose and can be used anytime as a general expletive:
“Son of a bitch must pay.”
the second is always used upon arrival, particularly useful if you are making a grand entrance:
“Everybody relax, I’m here.”
A couple of others :
“I got two words for you, shut the f*ck up!” - Deniro in Midnight Run.
and
“F********ck You!!” - Kevin Bacon in Tremors.
Yes, it was. I used to go to the PX on the Carlisle Barracks and play that game on the floor model computer all the time. I still say that regularly.
I’ve tried, but I cannot let someone say “There is no ____” without following it with “There is only Zuul.”
e.g. “There is no mayonaise.” “There is only Zuul.”
My wife and I can’t say “Are you sure about this?” Without following up with “Trusting our fate to a boy we hardly know?”
I think 90% of what I say is pop culture quotes.
“Som-um-ma-bitch”—from Bernie Mac’s bit in “The Kings of Comedy”
From Eddie Izzard’s “Dressed to Kill:”
whenever anyone asks me what I want to do: “I want to put babies on spikes”
Whenever I repeat something strange someone did, I’ll say “like you do,” using Eddie Izzard’s inflection. You have to know how it’s said to appreciate it.
Someone already mentioned “fargin bastiges.” I use that.
StrongBad’s “holy crap for crap.”
“A little from column A, a little from column B,” from the Simpsons.
“Everything’s turning up Milhouse!”
“My mom says I’m the coolest guy she knows.”
Whenever my gf comes back from somewhere: “Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.”
“If you want anything done right, kill Baldrick first.”
“I have an idea and it’s as hot as my pants.” I say that when I’m feeling “frisky.”
There are more but I just can’t think of any.
[Possible nitpick]
Wasn’t “sweet merciful crap” from Futurama?
[/possible nitpick]
I don’t know how I could have forgotten this Homerism:
“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.”
Expressing skepticism: “This time for sure!” (Bullwinkle J. Moose)
Throwing in the towel: “It’s dead, Jim.” (Dr. McCoy)
So we’ll become the aliens in the “Darmok and Jilad” episode of Star Trek? I always wondered how such a thing could come about. Now, I know.
Tombstone: I’m you’re huckleberry. You’re a daisy/ You’re a daisy if you do.
Numerous Simpsons, Monty Python, Eddie Izzard, South Park, Invader Zim, Futurama and Mitch Hedberg quotes.
Casablanca: I’m shocked, SHOCKED!
Elizabeth: I am my father’s daughter.
Cabaret (the play). I introduced my friends to it, and one of them swears that I’m Sally Bowls. I try to take it in the good humour it was intended. She practically passes out laughing whenever we listen to Perfectly Marvelous. Often, I’ve been heard over dinner (for example) going: I think people are perfectly marvelous, don’t you (insert name here)? I don’t think people should have to explain themselves at all. For example, if I should happen to paint my fingernails green, oh and it just so happens I do paint them green; well if anyone should ask me why I say: I think its pretty, I think its pretty I reply. So if anyone should ask about you and I you have two alternatives. You can say oh yes its true, we’re living in delicious sin, or you can simply tell the truth …
I’ve also been known to break out into song from Evita.
Whenever I see a good-looking woman sitting on something, I say a variation of Charlie Sheen’s line from Hot Shots!–“I never wanted to be a horse so much in my life.”
I also like to use “And the hits just keep on coming!” like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men.
Whenever remarking about something going well, my partner and I will always say,
“So, I got that going for me. Ya know, which is nice.” -Caddyshack
When someone is parallel parking and they park too far from the curb, I always exclaim,
“That’s ok, we can walk to the curb from here.” -Broadway Danny Rose