…and when the door opened, Garrett the Grasshoper said, “Mr. Human, do you know what the true meaning of…”
“Oh My God!”, said Harry the Human, “A talking grasshoper! I don’t believe it! An actual talking freakin’ grasshoper!!! I’m rich! Rich I tell you…”
“And that” Little Tommy’s parents concluded, “is why we don’t love you anymore.”
Ell, that’s not fair, I’m laughing too much at your line to come up with one of my own!
Okay, calm down, hate to follow that but . . .
Cinderella loved the dress, the coach, the footman and all, but she took one look at those glass slippers and said “You’ve got to be kidding! If I’m going to be dancing all night long, I need something with a bit more give or else my feet will be killing me.” She pulled out a nice pair of silver sneakers and wore those instead.
cue Looney Tunes music…
"Hello my baby, hello my honey,
Hello my ragtime gal…"
Oh, shit, wait. That was a frog, not a grasshopper. Sorry, carry on.
“And at the stroke of midnight, all of Cinderella’s clothes disappeared. THAT got the Prince’s attention.”
And though Snow White and her prince lived happily ever after, the seven dwarves spent many years in rehabilitation for their necrophilia addiction.
<—hysterical. MAN, you’ve set the bar high on this one. Here, have a cruller. You’ve earned it. Let’s see now…
Man, I’m still laughing. That was just fucking brilliant. I feel as though you’ve just won the match by pinning me to the ground with your silver-tipped tongue ! (heynow, there’s a visual :eek: )
Cartooniverse
Let’s be honest:
boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=73785
Just admit that anything in there should be in here, and have another beer.
…and Goldielocks got 3 to 5 for B.&E. and vandalism…
-Rue
And in the end, little Billy learned that things don’t always work out in life and not everyone will like him.
“You were right, Eeyore,” said Pooh, “all that hunny did rot my teeth.”