I’ll start:
- Trying on your stash of bikinis. <sob>
*Yes, I just did this. It was clearly a mistake.
In my case:
#2: Don’t try to eat any of your favorite foods. The little twerp in your tummy will just hit the big red reject button and it will all come back up, anyway.
2 kids, 13 months apart, and I was hurling all the way through both of them. Yuck.
YES!!! Junior has decided he doesn’t like CHOCOLATE.
Clearly I am carrying Satan’s child.
How long have you guys been dating? 
No jumping jacks.
Do NOT go camping. In a tent. With a 3-year-old. I don’t care how badly hubby wants to.
JUST SAY NO!
Mother nature may decide to punish you with torrential rains and gale force winds and nearly freezing temps just to prove to you how stupid you are. (Don’t ask me how I know.)
A 24 hour on-call shift as a Psychiatry SHO (2nd year resident for the Americans).
I was the only doctor for a 50 bedded acute inpatient adult and old age psychiatry unit, and on call for psychiatric emergencies at the A&E dept of the attached hospital.
Oh yes, chatting to the floridly psychotic at 3am is super fun when you’re heavily pregnant.
The one good thing about pregnancy with our daughter: she apparently had expensive tastes. One of the few things I could hold down was prime rib and baked potatoes.
Our son: it was chicken. All chicken, all the time. I didn’t particularly like chicken, or eat a lot of it before becoming pregnant, but this ordeal traumatized my husband so much that he didn’t eat any for two years afterward. We went to have dinner at Chick-Fil-A one night. We left, and there was a KFC right across the street. I told him, “Hey, look! There’s a KFC. Let’'s go for a snack!” It took him a long time to forgive me for that one. 
Pretty sure trampolining is out.
Large, outdoor stadium concerts.
Now I’m the one who has to babysit my big brother and make sure he doesn’t drink too much, because his pregnant wife opted out of the concert.
Run down the hall at work with your breakfast sandwich in one hand and change from the catering truck in the other. There’s a chance you’ll slip, fall, drop everything, and never see your sandwich or money again, because whoever helped you up and called 911 to take you to the hospital for observation didn’t notice who picked up your money or your breakfast. There’s also the chance that the supervisor who said he’d call your family will forget, and your spouse won’t know till you call him from the hospital later that afternoon after you’re discharged. :mad:
36 weeks? I wouldn’t suggest any car trips more than an hour from the hospital.
Never know, junior might come a couple weeks early.
I wouldn’t go on any of the gondolas in the mountains - seems like those things are always getting stuck. 
I hear he’s a real demon in the sack .
Yah - I’m starting to get a few of the 'You’re about to have a bigger family!" things pretty regularly so hubby and I are sticking pretty close to home.
I’m REALLY not interested in delivering in the back seat of a car somewhere. OR a gondola for that matter!
Don’t go tubing behind a boat or waterskiing- yes the doctor says that you cannot slalom as you asked, but that does not give implicit permission for tubing or using two skis because “two skis isn’t really skiing, I don’t even think it is possible to fall”.
Do not have a lie down on the floor at 36 weeks pregnant, even if it’s the only way to stop your back from hurting, not even if you’re absolutely sure you won’t be alone for the next several hours.
It’s just not worth the risk.
ETA: and Lamb Korma. Don’t do the Lamb Korma.
Take pictures.
I truly honestly faithfully know my wife was freaking radiant while she was getting ready to be a mom. Seems I was wrong.
Oh well, I know she won’t destroy any post-baby pics, at least.
Oh HELLS no!!!
I don’t like getting my picture taken at the best of times, let alone when I’m waddling around like a beluga.
Pictures of Junior are just fine thanks.
Read anything or talk to anyone reguarding childbirth or pregnancy. Just keep repeating the mantra “Nearly Everyone I’ve EVER met was the result of a successful childbirth process”.
I recall having a conversation with the OBGYN where we were debating getting an amnio…there was a 1 in 128 chance the twins had downs syndrome (horrors!), but the amnio had a 1 in 200 chance of causing a spontaneous miscarriage.
Ya know what? I don’t wanna know. Just let them keep cooking. Don’t touch the oven, I don’t want the suflee to fall.
In fact, don’t listen to them AFTER the kid(s) are born, either. You shoulda heard my wife the day after a nurse said Kid A was kinda floppy.