I’m not sure I’m using the right terms, but it’s what I came up with on short notice…
Anyway, was doing some writing this morning, and part of it involves an old flame coming back into a married couple’s life. I began to realize something odd, and I’m wondering if people could give me some feedback on this, mainly along the lines of; is my perception of how literature handles this situation, in a mainstream sense, correct?
The situation: Couple who are both secret agents find that a former ‘seduction’ victim of the man’s is back, and claims to be ‘in love’ with said man.
While I was writing it, I realized that there’s an implied humor to it all. I was going for that humor, so, in that sense, I hit the mark. However, I then began to think, what if it was a man ‘in love’ with the woman? For whatever reason, from a literary sense, this hit me as something a lot more ‘sinister’, and I’m not sure why. Is it because, in literature, we more often see this as a ‘stalking’ behavior when it happens to women, but more of a ‘humorous’ one when it happens to a man? Or am I totally off-base with this?
Something to think about.
I think there is a greater tendency for people to assume that the man who is still in love, etc. is a stalker and possibly an abuser–and men are usually greater physical threats than women.
However, my opinion just might be colored by several recent romances which I read in which the man from the past who couldn’t let go was in fact a stalker and abusive. Seems like I did read one recently with a woman from the past who couldn’t let go but it wasn’t as serious–mostly because the time frame between when she first got involved with the guy and when she came back to haunt him was much shorter. (And partly because it was a much smaller part of the book).
A man would potentially be more likely to kill, sexually assault, or physically harm the woman. The woman would be more likely to kill the man’s household pets and leave them in a pot on the stove around dinnertime, which isn’t really as sinister but somehow seems crazier.
Anyway, to answer the original question, I think it’s just harder to take a hypothetical female stalker seriously. Presumably the man would be able to defend himself, and is not likely to be sexually assaulted. In RL I know a guy who was stalked by a girl he had dumped, and it got pretty crazy. He wasn’t in physical danger, but she called him on the telephone constantly. She got his relatives phone numbers and used to call them constantly too. She would sit outside his house for hours.
Why are you describing her as a victim? Was he dishonest with her?
I describe her as victim as the seduction was ‘in the line of duty’; he had no feelings for her- he was doing it as part of a mission.
Now, what I’m wondering from the responses here- How much of this is perceived via current fiction, and how much of it is reality?
Upon edit: Interresting enough that I did see her as ‘victim’, though. I wonder if I would’ve seen it that way if the sexes were reversed?
Where’s the humor in the situation? If your agent seduced her in the line of duty and she fell in love with him, that’s just sad. Does your agent’s wife know the agent slept with this woman? How does she feel about it?
She is aware, and she understands the necessity. Is that important to the view of it? (I don’t ask as an insult- I’m trying to figure out why this bit of writing seems so weird to me.)
I don’t recall reading any books or seeing any movies with this situation. (Fatal Attraction doesn’t count.) Maybe that’s why I’m having trouble seeing either implied humor or stalking behavior. Men and women will sometimes “fall in love” with someone who seduces them. If the book/movie is set up as a comedy, that can be funny. If it’s a thriller, it can be stalking.
I have a feeling I’m not getting your point though. 