Little things I can do to drive my wife nuts

[Kent_Clark]

@Equipoise

We were together for 15 years before he happened to mention that he didn’t like clothes hung on doorknobs. That’s something I’ve done all my life, my whole family did it, I never thought a thing about it, ever. I immediately stopped doing it. If I’d known 14 years and 11 months earlier, I would have stopped doing it then. (Of course, when he’s out of town all the doorknobs have clothes on them. I just go around and remove them all before he gets home.)

That kind of reaction would drive me nuts.

[figure9]

Try the parking lot trick. When you and your wife go somewhere get out of the car as fast as you can and walk full speed across the parking lot. Something about the combo of being ignored and abandoned upsets most women. The parking lot trick works the best if your wife is dressed up and wearing heels.

[Taters]

Hah! That wouldn’t work with me, figure9. My whole family accuses me of being in a race to get everywhere. I think I’m just ambling along, but I soon leave them in the dust!

[kittenblue]

Ah, the cabinet door trick. That’s how I drove my husband into another woman’s arms, for sure!

I think the best one for men to use is to stand in the middle of the kitchen while your wife is happily in the living room reading or otherwise busy. Put on the plaintive voice and holler, “Honey, where’s the XXX??” when she tells you exactly where it is, down to the map coordinates, whine, “I can’t find it anywhere, I’ve looked everywhere” until she gets up, comes into the room and picks XXX up from the counter where it was partially sitting behind YYY but still right there in plain sight.

[Colophon]

@mnemosyne

Also, he’ll rearrange the dishwasher. Apparently the way I place certain things in the only space they fit isn’t good enough.

I do this, because apparently my wife does not understand how dishwashers work. The spray of water comes up from the underside, so stuff stacked on top of other stuff ain’t gonna get clean.

Similarly, don’t put long-handled stuff hanging down so it stops the rotor spinning and then wonder why the dishwasher isn’t working. :smack:

Also, small plastic lids will get dislodged. Don’t put them in there.

[TheFaerie]

@kittenblue

Ah, the cabinet door trick. That’s how I drove my husband into another woman’s arms, for sure!

I think the best one for men to use is to stand in the middle of the kitchen while your wife is happily in the living room reading or otherwise busy. Put on the plaintive voice and holler, “Honey, where’s the XXX??” when she tells you exactly where it is, down to the map coordinates, whine, “I can’t find it anywhere, I’ve looked everywhere” until she gets up, comes into the room and picks XXX up from the counter where it was partially sitting behind YYY but still right there in plain sight.

I had that happen just a couple of days ago. Me: “Top shelf on your right. No, your right. Next to the box of crackers. No, your other right. No, I see the unopened box of cookies in your hand, but the open one I want you to grab is next to the crackers. No, top shelf on your right…” He did eventually find it, but damn, it wasn’t even behind anything.