Apparently, I’ve become the guy who does all the film announcements- but I love them, because they’re so damn strange. For example, The Smurfs. The lovable blue guys, created in 1958 by Belgian cartoonist Peyo, apparently didn’t die after UNICEF bombed their village and are thus making a movie with Columbia Pictures. It’s supposed to be a live-action/CGI mix- I’m guessing the Smurfs will be CGI and everything else will be live-action. Slated to pen the film are J. David Stem & David N. Weiss, writers of such beloved films as two Rugrats movies, Shrek 2, Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, Are We There Yet?, Daddy Day Camp, and a book about Eloise written in the style of Kay Thompson. With a track record like that, I can only imagine how this one turns out. (But, then again, writers are tricky fellows- Jon Vitti, a Simpsons writer, gave us Alvin and the Chipmunks. You never know what these guys are gonna write.)
Me, I’m not looking forward. CGI? WTF? The smurfs exist in a classic 2D world; all this CGI animation is starting to wear on me.
All right. I love the smurfs.
I love The Smurfs, which is why I think this is a horrible idea. Plus, what lissener said.
Jack Black as Gargamel. You heard it here first.
What would you do for a plot? The Smurfs consisted of “Gargamel does something.” This is vaguely bad and usually involves imprisoning Smurfs. But Gargamel can’t be a scary villain. The series was designed for children barely old enough to speak.
No, you see this story is about a kindly old man living in his cottage with his cat who one day finds his mushroom garden infiltrated by minuscule mischief makers lead by Papa “Osama” Smurf*, their society is a ruthless Theocracy based on “Smurflamic law.” Eventually he finds it is an oppressive misogynistic society that killed off all the females but one, when he goes to tell people they won’t believe him, until one of them (Their head of intelligence “Brainy”) is seen scoping out the local landmarks for bombings by Jokey’s present bombs. Now, he must rally the troops and rectify their society through whatever means necessary, ending in a bloody battle where afterwards freedom and liberty are finally restored in both societies.
*They’re also considering it being a trap door under his garden in which a terror organization of people who use blue war paints has a vast underground complex, and Smurfette is a love interest.
Nothing good can come of this.
Live action - an ensemble cast of name actors overdosed on colloidal silver
CGI -Gargamel and Azrael.
Is there going to be any hot Smurfette on Smurfette action?
My vote is for Alien + Predator + Jason + Freddy vs. Smurfs.
Well, if they include that bombing into plot, then maybe I’ll take a look.
This smurfing smurfs. But only if they plan on smurfing the smurfs. Then it will be all smurfy.