Lo, I am become Death, shatterer of tires

The BBQ Pit
1

Three tires. Three weeks. Beat that, Dopers.

I don’t know what the streets of Plano have been smoking, but it’s harsh stuff. I bought a new set of tires last August because the tread was getting thin, and I think this whole automobile safety thing is a fantastic idea. It would have been only a pair of tires, but on inspection one of the younger pair of tires had two nails puncturing the tread within an inch - outside of the tire shop’s repair abilities.

So, four new tires. I even had them rotated at nearly the correct time.

Tire #1, the front passenger tire, took flight from its mortal coil on the Tollway on a day when I had forgotten my cell phone, the temperature was upwards of 95, and imminent rain clouds called my mother a hamster and otherwise taunted me. About the time I had pulled the spare out and was considering the jack, a courtesy patrol pulled up behind me. The kind gentleman, to whom I owe a kidney and perhaps some rough sex, swapped out tires for me and lowered my car back down, whereupon we discovered…

Tire #2, the spare tire, was flat as an unleavened flapjack. The courtesy patrol guy lent me his phone to call my car insurance company, who I give money to for occasions such as this. Then I called a friend to pick me up, because the tow truck isn’t actually allowed to get my car until an hour and a half is past.

Tire #1 was replaced. Tire #2 was patted and put back in the trunk, all to the tune of $11. May I sing the praises of towing coverage and tire warranties.

I thought I was done. One tale of woe, a couple of lifetime debts, and when my first paycheck from the new teaching job comes, I’ll get myself a new spare tire too. Because when you have a spare tire, you are less likely to need it. I even called the dealership to discover that a new spare tire was $97. No, sorry, the guy called me back, $187. They’d just changed it on him.

sigh

Tire #3 met its untimely end on a trip to the grocery store. It also shed its hubcap for the occasion. Nothing like a suicidal, exhibitionist tire.

Today, though, I had my cell phone. Ha HA! As I still had no replacement spare tire, I called for towing. Again. And I called a different friend for rescue.

Three tires. Three weeks. My schedule for tomorrow is up in the air. First day I could have gone in to the school to get my classroom set up, but noooooo…

I shudder to think what havoc an oil change will call down upon my head.

2

Chinese tires?
The recall?

3

I had 3 flat tires in 24 hours once. Well, almost 4, but the same tire went flat twice. I was living in San Jose at the time.

One went flat for reasons unbeknownst to me that morning. Fixed it on my lunchbreak.

Later that day, I go out to my car and see that someone had gone down the street and slashed all of our curbside tires. Two more flat tires. Get those fixed.

That night, coming out of the club at about 3 am in San Francisco, we find that one of the repaired tires has gone flat again. Called AAA and gave up for the night.

4

I’ve been driving for a couple of decades and have never had a flat tyre. I just thought you’d want to know.

5

I had five flats in the space of less than a week in Venezuela once.

The first one was on a mountain road where I could barely find a place to pull off to change it. When I got the spare out of the trunk of the rental car I found it was flat too. I had to hitch about 20 miles to find a repair shop to fix it, then hitch back.

Two of the others were on a country road way out in the Llanos when I hit a very deep pothole in the dark. One was an outright flat, which I changed. On the other one, I bent the rim slightly and got a slow leak. Fortunately it held long enough to get to the ranch I was staying at. The next morning I found the tire completely flat. Fortunately the ranch had a machine shop and they were able to bend the rim back.

6

In the past 6 months, I have had two contact lenses actually rip into two while in my eye, and another 4-5 develop tears directly in the centre. I have really sharp eyes or something.

So I feel your pain in a completely different arena.

7

::: Shakes head:::
You poor bastard, one should never tempt the fates this way. You may not be aware of it yet, but you are so screwed.

8

Hmmm. Hadn’t thought of that. However, I did realise (after I posted) that I did once have an altercation with an embankment and wrote off a car. At least one tyre was flat afterwards. Does that count?

9

Smartass. :wink: (Besides, we’re talking about tires, not tyres. . . .)
I lost three tires (at least) in one day. Suspected someone had smeared some sort of acid on the sidewalls.

10

Okay, okay, so my tire misfortunes are not as grave as others. I’m still fairly ticked. Today is the first day the teachers can report to their classrooms. I was counting on getting in early and earning a few brownie points. Not to mention the massive amount of work I have to get done.

But, my car is done. They just forgot to call me to tell me that. The friend who I’d hoped would give me a ride is packed in with a visiting mother-in-law and a dog with a vet appointment. My brother is coming to rescue me. Then I can get to work. sigh

11

I feel your pain, seriously.
My first car, a pumpkin orange '77 Chevy Impala, had front end problems. Well, it didn’t until my Grandfather decided to drive through a tree. The tree didn’t move. But I digress.

I went through at least 8 tires/year with that beastie of a vehicle. Rarely a flat would occur quietly overnight. No, driving 65mph on a crowded highway was a favorite. Once at a stop light there was a foosh and there the front passenger tire deflated.

The positive side effect is my proficiency in rapidly changing tires, which has come in very handy.

Just one note to used car buyers: Don’t presume that the jack is in working condition even if you’re told it is. People lie. Trying to assemble a jack on the side of a busy street when one of the brackets is bent is a joke. Especially when your sister is behind you bitching “I thought you KNEW how to do this!” and it’s her car.

12

There could be a reason for multiple tire failures, and a manufactors defect sounds likely. They were brand new when you bought them? Was there a warrenty?

13

Did Plano figure out a way to impose extra taxes on tires or something? Gotta pay for those fancy schools and their football stadiums somehow.

Marc

14

No, no, they make all their extra football money by selling heroin. Sheesh, where have you been.

I asked the tire place to check the tire, and there was a cut along the sidewall - totally covered by the warranty. I suspect that both tires were damaged when I ran over some dramatic road debris a while back, and they just took their own sweet time giving up the ghost.

I hope.

15

Hijack

Sorry, pouka, perhaps this will brighten your day–I once got a flat after literally hitting a fork in the road. Yup, a cheap stainless steel dinner fork. Unfortunately, the normal expectations for the metaphor, whether A) patch the tire? or B) buy a new tire?, was disappointing. The sidewall was damaged so the only choice was to buy a new tire.

I have yet to decide whether I’ll ever use that metaphor again. I’ll guess I’ll have to wait till I come to that point when I encounter the bifurcation of two paths :dubious:

/Hijack

16

My quality fo life increased ten-fold when I finally dumped the contacts.

17

Flat tyres while night driving in Venezuela don’t count. That’s like bragging about getting shot playing with firecrackers on the DMZ. :wink:

18

If so, they may well have been made of a paste of cardboard and pork trimmings.

19

Or, finely-minced dissidents.

20

What a timely rant. My husband bought four new tires for his Dodge Dakota today at noon, and by 3 p.m., one of them started coming off the rim while he was doing about 65 mph on I-70 near Baltimore. More than a little scary.