Long, Wordy and Boring

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So Clothahump paid me a very sweet compliment over in another thread. And while my ego is fed for yet another day, I am deeply humbled at the number of very nice things many people have said to me.

So I’m gonna keep this short.

My old man was the sort of fellow who, if you asked him what time it was, would start with the invention of the sundial, and work his way forward. And, ghod love him, he was not the sort of fellow who’d use two words if ten would do, and the longer the words, the better.

As a child, I had the same attention span as any other kid my age. And I learned to stay still, look interested, and interject the appropriate noises and grunts into the rare pauses in the old man’s lectures, because failing to listen to the wisdom of one’s elders would earn you a smack upside the head. Disrespectful! This is for YOUR BENEFIT, son!

I guess it was. I can sit still and entertain myself in the playground of my own mind for up to two hours before bathroom breaks or feet falling asleep demand action. It’s a handy trick for boring meetings and inservices.

But when I became a parent… well, durnit, I wanted to be able to teach my child the things she’d need to know… including the things she didn’t WANNA know… and the last thing I wanted to do was BORE her. Because I’d learned that boredom is the least effective way of transmitting information. Other than, “Ghod, you’re boring.”

And so, when I needed her to know something, I did everything short of putting on a circus to get her attention, HOLD her attention, and get the message in FAST, as opposed to the 45-min to hour-and-a-half that my own father usually required to explain a simple concept.

And now my little girl is grown up, and married, and living her own life. And one day, I asked her how I did as a parent, in her opinion.

She thought about it for a minute, and said, “Well, you sometimes told me stuff I already knew. More often, it was stuff I didn’t. And sometimes you were wordy. But you were NEVER dull.”

I can think of no higher compliment to receive as a parent. In fact, I’m thinking of having it carved on my tombstone.

Thank you all for your kindness.

2

Not a bad compliment for a teacher, either.

Or a SDMB poster.

3

TS;DRLE

Too short; didn’t read long enough.

Kidding! That is a truly moving compliment from your daughter, and is true of all your posts, as far as I can see it.

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I didn’t think you were anywhere near old enough to have a grownup child! Oh, and like just about everyone else, I’m delighted to see you back on this board. I’ve been scouring forums looking for your stories.

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that is indeed a high compliment -

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My father is well aware of his tendency to preach. And he TRIES to keep it short. But if he’d been in Galilee a couple thousand years ago, and he ran across a mob about to stone an adulteress, he’d have started by defining “adultery,” and ended by talking about the chemical makeup of the stones, and whether they were metamorphic or sedimentary.

And then he’d have made a joke about how they weren’t “sedentary rocks,” because they were about to be in motion. And then, for those who didn’t understand, he’d have defined “sedentary” and “sedimentary,” to make sure everyone got the joke.

And the adulteress and half the mob would have dozed off, and the other half would have slipped away when he wasn’t looking.

My old man is a fine human being, an honest citizen, a contributor to his community, and, honestly, a moral paragon. But don’t ever get him talking.

So if you think I’m funny? He deserves the credit. Because I’ve spent forty years and more trying NOT TO BE DULL…

7

You just described my father to a T. He was a college chemistry professor and if you asked him a question, no matter how simple, there was always a ‘did you know?’ to get past before you’d get your answer. God help anyone who asked him where the restroom was. They’d have embarassed themselves long before he got around to telling them.

I love your daughter’s compliment. It would make a fine presentation on your tombstone. :slight_smile:

Every child deserves a living, breathing, encyclopedia in their world. My dad’s ‘famous lectures’ often led me to investigate some ort of knowledge he’d let slip. I tried to be that kind of resource for my own boys, and while they appreciated the depth of my knowledge, it was on a much more ‘trivial’ level “Don’t EVER play trivial pursuit with my mom” or “If I got on ‘Who Wants to Be A Millionaire’, you’d be my Phone-a-Friend”. Appreciated, of course, but not nearly so eloquent.

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I just want to say that I came into this forum today and saw several topics that interested me. Although this one was labeled “Long, Wordy, and Boring”, when I saw who the OP was I decided to read it first.

Thanks for bringing the good stuff, man.

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I hope my sons and daughter says something like that one day. Unfortunately, it will probably be more like the way you described your Dad.

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Our kids get the short, to the point stuff from me. The detailed stuff they get from Mom. My wife knows I skim well enough to get the gist of what she’s saying even when I don’t listen that carefully. Now I do remember my Mom saying, with evident delight, “listen to P-man lecturing” when I was fussing at one of our boys.