This thread was inspired by a recent “friendzoned” thread that I’m to lazy to link to. )No biggie, that thread isn’t really all that relevant anyway.)
So basically the consensus is, when two people are attracted to each other, they’ll pretty much figure that out straight away. While I’m sure this is the case most of the time, I gotta believe, that if two incurably shy people had the hots for each other, I could easily see it taking some while before they figure that out. Or maybe there are other reasons two people didn’t make their feelings known that I’m not thinking of.
So that’s basically what this thread is about. Have you ever been attracted to some one for an inordinate amount of time before hooking up with a love (or lust) interest?
I was friends with my wife for nine years before we started going out, a total of eleven before we got married. So there’s a starting point; let’s see how many can beat that!
But were you romantically attracted to her from the beginning, or mere platonic friends for a long time and then the romantic attraction only started much later on?
Yeah. I didn’t write the OP but I get the impression that this is an important element of the intent. BrotherCadfael and Dangerosa, with your SOs, were you friends who after years of friendship developed a newfound romantic interest? Or was the romantic interest there to begin with but it took years to finally work? If it’s the former, I don’t know that it really fits the OP.
When I was in the first grade through the eigth grade I always had secret crushes on girls. One girl I had a crush in the 7th and 8th grade. Starting in my forties and not at all planned over the next 20 years I had hooked up with all of them but the first grade crush. I can’t remember her last name and she doesn’t go to reunions so I doubt I ever will. I ran into her at a service station in my early 20’s and we were both married at the time but haven’t seen her since.
If you mean the “longest I’ve gone without having sex with someone with whom there has been mutual attraction” I’m going on 3+ decades. Just because I find someone attractive doesn’t mean I’ll jump into bed with that person, and I believe loyalty to one’s significant other is an important personal trait.
I’ve had a couple of gentlemen friends that, had I been available (and vice versa) we probably we have “hooked up” but since one or both of us were already involved in a relationship we kept our legs crossed. Despite the attraction. It’s quite possible to not act on an urge.
Yep, I have one of those too. I only found out it was mutual in the last year. Does that still count, since it’s been discussed? Still I have my reason for not pursuing it and she has hers.
My wife and I met through an online hobby and we interacted on a friend basis for a year or two before we met for the first time. After that, we started talking on the phone occasionally and then more and more often. At the second time we met in person (about three years after first meeting), I made the move in stating that I was interested in a romantic direction… though I think it was obvious we were both feeling that way for a while.
So, in total, about three years went before we made it romantic. However, giving the long-distance and online elements, I would say that I only felt anything romantic for about six months before moving it in that direction. That delay was partly because I didn’t want to make that move over the phone or by e-mail.