Look both ways before crossing the street, you stupid motherfucker!

verifies the board

This is the Pit, right?

YES!

I try to respect traffic rules, slow down when I get near a traffic light or intersection or pedestrian crossing, or when I get near a spot which I know to be used by a lot of jaywalkers (what genius put the big supermarket’s doors right in the middle of the block?); if I can’t pass a bicycle or motorbike safely I’ll do my best to clip along behind it without “pushing”.

But those women who push a cart with a baby or toddler in it onto the tarpan rapidly from between two parked cars (much faster than when they’re pushing it along the sidewalk), THEN, once the kid is in the middle of traffic, stop suddenly and…

agonizingly…

slowly…

crane out to look at the cars…

make me wish I had an English vocabulary worthy of the Attilah-like red veil I get at those times! If they weren’t shielded by the parked cars I would be very, very happy to forget those stupid modern-day laws, pull my crusading genes out of their slumbering state and RUN THE FREAKING BITCHES OVER! And then back up to run them over again!

phew I feel better now.

Try not to think of it as a baby, but as a sort of pedestrian canary or landmine detector for complete fuckwits.

“Gee, junior’s been flattened by an 18-wheeler. Guess it’s not safe to step out into the road just yet”

Large parts of the population shouldn’t be trusted to raise a pet cricket, never mind a human being…

At a nearby intersection, I frequently see the “push the baby carriage into harm’s way while waiting for a break in traffic” phenomenon. This intersection was quite busy at rush hour, yet dipshit women still did it and I remember thinking that it was an accident waiting to happen.

Then, it did happen: a baby in a stroller was hit and killed at that intersection. The stroller pusher was a teenaged babysitter. A great uproar was made, teddy bears and balloons were erected at the intersection afterwards, and everyone was sad. But the baby’s still dead, and moronic moms and babysitters still push their strollers into traffic while waiting for a traffic break at that same intersection. I see it every day.