Look, Mr. police office, I'm trying to follow instruction, IF I CAN UNDERSTAND!

The BBQ Pit
1

Weak, lame, and without heart.

Background:

I was on campus from about 10:30 AM until 9PM, working on classwork and doing what I needed to do. I had class at 6:30 that happened to get out 10 minutes early, at 9. This exist time happened to coincide with a Lady Vols game exodus. I’ve never had to deal with that before, and because I didn’t check the basketball schedule, I was parked in exactly the wrong lot for the game. On hindsight, I should have sat in my car for 10-15 minutes before going anywhere.

Instead, I left the lot, followed the little cones, tried to follow the police officers’ directions, which involve driving in the lane that normally goes the opposite direction. At the intersection, there is another police officer waving two of the flashlight things, traffic cones that appear to be set up so that I can go through them, but I’m not sure.

Meanwhile, there huge amounts of pedestrians around, something that makes me nervous on campus because of their tendency to walk out in traffic. So, I’m watching them, trying to figure out where the cop wants me to go and deal with the bus that looks like it’s coming into my lane (it wasn’t, just merging wide from one of the two right lanes into the left hand right lane).

The cop is waving both lights, and I thought that he was indicating for me to go through the cones. So I start doing that, and he indicates for me not to do that, but go in the other lanes (again, in what feels like the wrong side of the street. I start doing that, which means turning my wheel hard, but not impossibly so(unlike the SUV kings and queens attending the game, I do not have power steering). So he says “I don’t care where you go, just get the hell out of the way”. Look, I’m trying. I’m confused and frustrated and tired and I just want to understand. I promise I’m not deliberately dense.

I’ve had a very frustrating and trying day at this point, and all I really want to do now is curl up and have a cry.

And to the asshat pedestrian who made the comment about “learning how to drive, bitch”, fuck you.

And to the university: I still really thought this was an academic institution, not an athletic institution that happens to have sports teams. I know, I should have known better after two football seasons in town, but I didn’t quite get it until tonight. I will watch the schedule much more closely after tonight.

2

Sounds to me like you were trying to be the best driver you could possibly be.

Last time I checked, that’s hardly something to bash one’self too hard over.

Sure, we can make slightly embarassing mistakes occasionally, but it’s only a minor thing. I recall years ago being at some mountain restaurant on a Sunday somewhere. Loads of tourists etc and the need to take an unavoidable dump simply overwhelmed me. So ummm… I found the nice quaint outside toilets and did my oblutions. OK, fair enough - except when I was leaving the one door recepticle, a lady was waiting to come in. I had just taken a dump in the lady’s toilets! And I’m a 6’1" guy. Ooops!

As I was quickly walking away, I heard a yell from inside the toilet… “You arsehole! Use the men’s toilets!”

Hell, it was an honest mistake. The signs over the toilets were missing. I’m sure of it! :smiley:

3

A few months ago, I was on the freeway and all of the sudden this highway patrol car started doing the zig-zag across the lanes. We all slowed down as it was obvious that this was what he wanted us to do. What was less clear was whether we were supposed to come to a complete stop. He just kept moving ahead at about 5-10 MPH. Finally we came to an accident. Ah, ok, this is what is going on. The accident was in the far left lane and I was in the far right lane (8 lane freeway). Still, I wasn’t sure what I was suppoed to do exactly. The book that the DMV gave out doesn’t have a section about what to do in this kind of situation. I kept kinda inching forward, not really knowing whether I needed to stop or not. I was already pretty much past the accident. Well, eventually I had it explained to me by the officer via his loudspeaker in no uncertain terms…

“WILL YOU FUCKING STOP YOUR CAR?!?!?”

I stopped. I was expecting to get a ticket or at least a verbal lynching but after a few minutes, he simply started waiving us through. I couldn’t help but feel like he could have been just a tad more professional, although I’m sure I was frustrating the hell out of him by not stopping. I just wish it still would have been just a little clearer as to what he wanted from us. Had he stopped his car, I would have stopped mine. That seems simple enough.

Regardless, it’s a damn tough job that he is doing and I don’t really fault him for losing his temper. I was glad when I got waived through though.

4

I had a similar thing happen to me a couple of years ago.
I was driving home late at night, after making a stop at the grocery so I wasn’t taking my normal route. I had to pass by the local mall on a road in the process of being widened (it still is by the way). So there were already orange cones all over the place redirecting lanes to who knows where. That night there was some sort of traffic accident on the road so a policeman was out shunting traffic off the road and through the mall parking lot. He pointed his flashlight in the direction of the parking lot entrance so I turned that way. He immediately began shouting at me so I stopped dead of course. He runs up and says I’m going the wrong way and have I been drinking?! I’m just confused. Turns out that a row of orange cones was dividing what was normally one lane into the parking lot into two lanes, one in and one out. I had failed to notice this because I don’t normally drive through there and it was a mess with all the construction. I was really embarassed and mad at myself anyway though I think it was an honest mistake.
Weirdest part of the whole incident came when the officer was berating me. Just after he told me I was driving up the wrong lane he said “This ain’t Japan you know!”

What the hell does that mean?

5

It probably just refers to the fact that in Japan, people drive on the left side of the road rather than the right, like we do.

Club 33, I don’t know what the rules are where you’re from, but here, if you see an emergency vehicule coming (from either direction) with lights flashing, you’re suppossed to pull over to make it easier for them to pass. This might be a good thing to do even if it isn’t the law.

6

There was no emergency vehicle coming. Just a cop car ahead of him and weaving accross multiple lanes of the freeway. I would have probably waited for him to stop his car as well.

My bondhead maneuver was when I turned left pulling out of a grocery store at the intersection of 2 multilane roads into the lane just to the left of the left turn lane. I realized the problem when I stopped and wondered about the cars stopped at the lights across the way. I backed up and pulled behind the car that was actually in the left turn lane. :o

7

Ok, let me rephrase that–you have to pull over for ambulance, firetrucks, and police cars with flashing lights. Of course, I don’t know if this particular car had it’s lights on or not–if not, I would have been confused too.

I haven’t been driving long enough to make a really boneheaded maneuver, but I have made at least one stupid decision before–trying to pull left out of a mall parking lot at 3 in the afternoon on the last saturday before Christmas. I was already having a bad week before that, and I swear I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The cars were coming just so that by the time I could see if it was safe to go, it wasn’t safe anymore. Plus the guy trying to pull out behind me was honking his horn at me for taking too long…I am never doing that again.

8

I have to read these things more before I post. Ok, from my reading of Club 33’s post, I thought the cop car was behind him (don’t ask me why). My bad.

9

3 lefts make a right and 3 rights make a left. I use this when I am leaving the local grocery store intead of crossing several lanes of usually heavy traffic I’ll hang a left out of the side of the parking lot, circle the block to the right and wait at the light to finally make my left turn.

I also scope out all the exits to find the one that will get me out of the parking lot and to my next destination with the least chance of getting my ass run down. Also if you go to the upstream exit you can get out before the people waiting in line at one of the downstream exits.

10

Yeah, I thought of turning right, but only after I was already waiting, with someone behind me and unable to switch to the right-turning lane. Generally, the traffic isn’t anywhere near as bad, so making a left-turn doesn’t involve very much waiting. Even the week-end before it wasn’t that packed. Had it been the other mall, it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as bad, though, because that one has an exit onto a side road which makes getting into and out of the parking lot much easier. This one only has two (well, technically one, it shares a parking lot with Canadian Tire), and both are on the main road. Like I said, I made a stupid decision trying to turn left.

Live and learn.

11

After thinking about it I sort of figured that people in Japan must drive on the other side, it just seemed like a really weird thing for a Kentucky cop to yell at someone.

12

You sound very conflicted but the part about “asshat” and “fuck you” shows promise. You might want to get a little more creative; perhaps something that you can feel you “own.” Just a suggestion.

13

I’ve had to deal with cops directing traffic in downtown Chicago. Most of them are pretty good, but once in awhile you get some idiot that isn’t paying attention (I mean the cop). They will direct people to go, then after a few seconds, realize they have just blocked the intersection and the light changes green to the other direction. The the retard cop usually goes over and yells at the guy (who he just signaled to enter the intersection). So, it happens all over the world, don’t feel too bad about it.

14

O.K., I’ve got one:

This construction worker monkey is holding a stop sign, in that way that they do when their equipment has to maneuver into the road, so they can temporarily stop traffic. So far, so good. I can see him about 2 blocks down the road holding the stop sign. I slowly approach, preparing to stop when I get to the construction area. Suddenly, the monkey gets this horrified look on his face and starts waving his arms wildly and frantically. But I’m still a block away at this point. I’m moving really, really slowly, and am not anywhere near the construction zone yet. He continues to freak out, with this “Stop - damn you!” look on his face, so I stop about 1/2 a block up the road from him. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what his deal was. Did he expect everyone in the entire city to stop in their tracks whenever he held up the sign?

15

You gotta watch whose “sign” guys. They give the “sign” to the guy who can’t do anything else. They are the guys who frequently smoke dope all day. I try to determine if the guy is actually paying attention to what’s going on. In other words, just because he is hold the sign at his side - well, it doesn’t mean you should procede, just that he is unaware.

16

This is kind of on the same topic: a friend of mine got pulled over for something or other and police officer asked her, “Do you know what your name is?”

Apparently what he really wanted to know was, “What is your name?”

Why the hell!! would anyone ask such a stupid question?!

If it had been me, I would have answered "yes, " and that had to wonder what the @#$% that stupid police officer was thinking. Then I’d’ve probably gotten chewed out.

Fortunately for her, my friend was able to figure out what the idiot wanted and answer the question he meant to ask.

I know, it’s no big deal. But it really irks me!

17

My sympathies…I had a couple likewise situations. A few years back I was driving at night and saw a police car pulled over on the side of the road perpendicular to the one I was on. His lights were flashing so I slowed down as I passed, and at the last moment saw that a poorly lit truck was pulling out in front of me…there were a couple small red lights on the top of it that were hard to see and that’s it…I had to swerve to avoid it. The cop pulled out, pulled me over, and gave me a 4 point (NJ) ticket for ‘failure to comply with police direction’. I guess he considered sitting in his car near the road with his lights flashing direction of some sort.

Then in Austin last year there was a funeral procession for a cop killed in the line of duty that pretty much shut down the entire south side of town. I had no idea what was going on, just that every route home from work was re-directed or blocked off to the point where I was driving in circles. I finally pulled over to the side of the road and called the police station to tell them where I was and find out by what route I could get where I was going. The dispatcher directed me to continue south on the road I was on to a highway a couple miles away. I proceeded exactly as directed, only to find myself right in the path of the procession. A cop pulled me over into the suicide lane (middle left turn lane) and told me I couldn’t move until the procession had cleared, which from the looks of things could have taken at least an hour. All I really needed to do at that point was cross one lane and go through a parking lot to get out of there, but he refused to let me, even when there was room. I told him I was following directions from the police dispatcher and he said something rude - don’t remember exactly what - so I started to call the police station again to see if they could help me out. At that point he finally waved me through.