So, somewhere in your past you may have been faced with the decision to take a fetus to term or abort. I’d like to know how you feel today about that decision.
If you are a guy, you might tell us how youi felt about your S.O.'s decision.
Poll forthcoming.
It was way back many years ago. The girl I was with was on several different medications, each of which was covered in “Do not use if you may become pregnant” warnings due to their risk of birth defects. Mistakes were made and she got pregnant.
We very well may have opted for abortion anyway but the fact that the child was almost certainly damaged from the medications made it a swift decision off the bat. I wouldn’t say an “easy” decision but I never doubted that it was the right one.
I have discussed this a number of times on the dope. My body does not do pregnancy, it tries to kill me so I got my tubes tied way back in the 80s at a fairly young age after 2 very disasterous pregnancies that had very detrimental effects on my health. I popped pregnant 10 years after the tubal, and if I had tried to continue it I would have died. I have absolutely no regrets.
And no I did not sue the doc who did the tubal, it was the old style loop and band that a later infection thanks to a different issue popped open. There was no malpractice involved.
We were poor. Very poor. We already had two kids to feed, jobs that weren’t paying the bills, and an attorney’s bill that was 5 digits thanks to her father being crazy and a control freak. Bringing in another kid to the world would have broken us. I’ve never regretted it, she did for awhile because it went against everything she believed in (at the time) but later knew it was for the best for all of us.
I think this poll should have had the option of multiple choices, since people often get pregnant multiple times.
I have one child and I’ve had two abortions. I’ve made the correct decision three times, and I’m quite happy.
I got pregnant in a place where I couldn’t get a legal abortion, which would have been the best thing for me.
I opted for abortion, it was absolutely the right decision. I also really regret getting myself into a position where it was a necessary decision. I’ve thought about it a lot over the last eight years and considering the financial and emotional state I was in, it was the best choice. I’m in a different place in my life now, and if I got accidentally pregnant tomorrow I’d just roll with it, but at 21 with a shitty unstable job and a father who did not want the child, I’d make the same decision again.
I was fifteen and already dealing with a terminally ill mother. The guy I got pregnant with was in the military and already gone. I felt I had no other choice, and I’ve never regretted the decision.
I chose “Other” because I’ve had two - one I don’t regret and is almost a non-event in my life. The other I do regret and wish someone had let me know that keeping it would have been an OK decision too. But I was 16 and stupid. My birth control method consisted of just *really *hoping I didn’t get pregnant. I am sure I probably shouldn’t have had a kid, but I do wish I had thought it out a little more. I regret that.
This poll should be multiple choice.
I have two children and have had two abortions. I don’t regret any of it.
I’m a man and I’m very familiar with escorting some ladies to Planned Parenthood to flush that thing out. I picked “Other,” because I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a kid. I’m close with my 3 year old nephew, and it really opened my eyes to how much fun the little ones can be. He loves the pianos and Hammond, and I didn’t even make him do “lessons” – he just gravitates to that area of my room when I babysit him once a week, playing along to Aretha and all the great ones. Until he remembers where the tennis rackets are and he wants to do that.
No, I never tried to influence my women to do anything in that direction, but I supported them and, my fucked sense of humor notwithstanding, tried to be nice as they spent the rest of the day in mild discomfort and in need of some hugs.
Yet another poll I can’t really answer. When I was in my early 20s, my girlfriend got pregnant. I was absolutely scared out of my wits because we were too poor to raise a child (we borrowed the money for the abortion from her step-mom). Still, I told her it was her body and her decision, but if she wanted to have the baby, I’d marry her and do all I could to take care of her and the baby. She decided on an abortion. At the time, I felt great relief, but later I felt guilty knowing I could’ve influenced her decision. She ended out moving to the other side of the country and had four kids last time I heard from her. Looking back, it’s possible I wasn’t even responsible because I found out later she was fooling around with a lot of other guys. My answer would be No Easy Decision, Relief at the Time, Guilt Afterwards, Time Heals All Wounds.
Bri2k
I think there’s an option missing (I marked Other). There may be sexually active women who have not tested positive for pregnancy, but I have a feeling they have all “faced it” through a pregnancy scare and gotten to a point where they have had to seriously weigh their options. Then thanked the lord when they didn’t actually have to make the decision.
Another vote for Poll Should Have Been Multiple Choice. Two kids, one abortion. Don’t regret any of them, although my timing and choice of mates could have been considerably better for the first kid.
DianaG, I didn’t realize you were me. 
I concur. I made the right decision three times.
True.
I answered ‘chose birth with no regrets’ which is true for the kid I had in my 30’s, but the *possibility *was there in my 20’s and I knew I’d have an abortion if needed and there would have been no regrets there either.
Guy, aborted, absolutely no regrets, and don’t feel like I have to justify it either. I didn’t ask her to do it, but we’d already had the talk, so she knew what my feelings were. Originally, she wanted to give birth, but she changed her mind later on.
Never has a SDMB poll surprised me with the results, but this one sure has. It isn’t the answers that surprise me but the number of women dopers who report having had an abortion. At present count it is 40. A popular poll may get 300 votes and I seem to recall with many polls divided by gender that the female complement general runs around 40 %. That leads me to believe the best we could ever hope for in female replies is 120.
Fully 1/3 of female dopers have aborted a fetus. Some have aborted twice.
Thats my estimate anyway. That’s got to be way more than average for the general public.
Now most of us agree that dopers as a whole are somewhat smarter and savy than the average , but then I would expect a much lower frequency of abortion and better knowledge and use of birth control than the general public.
Colour me 
Drawing conclusions from a self-selecting poll with a sample size of 40 is pretty much guaranteed to produce confusion.
Anyway, the Guttmacher Institute estimates that one third of women will have an abotion in their lifetime, so seems Doper women are perfectly normal.
First, there is self selection. I would imagine that women who had never been pregnant never even opened this poll, and the same with women who had never aborted or considered aborting.
Second, a lot of women who have had abortions or considered it are NOT comfortable talking about their decisions in meatspace. If we’ve even considered it, many people will judge us harshly, so we just don’t talk about it.
Third, birth control is not always readily available, either because of restrictive local laws, or prohibitive costs, or because the parties involved are underage.
And fourth, birth control doesn’t always prevent pregnancy, even when it’s used perfectly (says the woman who got pregnant three times in two years, on four different kinds of birth control).