Specifically, it was Dan Akroyd talking to Jane Curtain in a spoof on the old 60 Minutes segments called “Point-Counterpoint”, which featured Jack Kilpatrick and Shana Alexander, and which were known for the acerbic tone of Mr. Kilpatrick, which lent itself to being spoofed quite easily. 
Doonesbury did a spoof of it in a final panel once, too. Can’t recall it exactly, but as I recall, Shana or Jack is heard to say something about “before you make one of your typically dumb …”
When someone is taking too long to return something that is needed elsewhere, I think of one of the final messages that President Lincoln sent to General Meade before replacing him:
“If you aren’t using the Army, I’d like to borrow it for a while.”
And there’s never a quite appropriate time for it, but I do quote this to myself, a quote from a Greek herdsman warning the Spartans about the size of the Persian Army:
“Their arrows shall blot out the sun!”
(and the famous response)
“Then we shall fight in the shade.”
For what it’s worth, I, and many history nerds, was using this awesome quote far before it was used in a graphic novel or a movie.
My old room mate and I have started quoting the supply shop girl from Fallout 3 when talking about someone making a mistake:
“There seems to be an teenie… tiny… mutation.”
I say (color shirt I’m wearing) wizard needs (whatever I need) badly.
I played way too much gauntlet when I was younger. It gets strange when I’m dealing with things other than food such as GREEN WIZARD NEEDS INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION BADLY!
Lincoln actually said that about George McClellan, not George Meade.
And often when I’m saying goodbye to someone who’s going off to do something I use the preceding line, “Have fun storming the castle.”
Whoops, my bad.
Hah, I say that too.
Oh, and when nobody knows where someone is, I worry out loud that they may have been eaten by a grue.
In the last year and a half, I think maybe two people have gotten the joke.
I do that too. Blue Wheeljack shot the food!
When tucking in my little girls (3, 6, 7, 10) I often say “As you wish.”
And when I’m confused I mutter to myself: [Ian as Gandalf]
“I have no memory of this place.”
[/IaG]
I realize that the first is not really appropriate to the OP, since they all (except the 3yo) know what I mean, but what the heck.
When with friends figuring out what we’re going to do- “What’s it going to be, then?”
When I’m tired- “Bedways is rightways now. Best be going homeways and get a bit of spatchka, righty right?”
When I want someone to look at something- “Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.”
When I want someone to listen to something- “Come with Uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones… You. Are. Invited.”
When someone asks me how I am & I feel a little rough- “Suffering the tortures of the damned, O my brother… the tortures of the damned.”
When I’m feeling better- “I was cured, all right!”
In another vein-
If I'm asking if we have something- "Do we have ****sign?"
If I'm asked if I have something & I do- "Usul, we have ****sign the likes of which God Himself has never seen."
If someone says something I'm thinking- "Get out of my mind!"
If I am slightly annoyed, I say in a raspy little girl-voice "My brother is very angry with you, Baron."
If I am play-threatening someone- "I will kill you!" (with proper Sting-Feyd emphasis).
If I am congratulating someone else OR myself for an accomplishment- "And how can this be? For you are/I am the Kwisatz Haderach!"I always loved that line. Sean Bean (Boromir) says it with precisely the right mix of exasperation, fatigue and wonderment.
Some other movie lines I use now and then:
“I’m shocked, shocked to learn that [whatever fits the situation]!”
“I was misinformed.”
“This is a travesty of a sham of a mockery of an injustice!”
When one of my sons is getting antsy, I’ve been known to say, much to his :rolleyes: irritation, “Patience, young padawan.”
When things are going tits up and its all a little stressful I cant help but quote the line from Airplane…“Well I certainly chose the wrong week to give up glue sniffing”
I’m not sure that anything I say actually comes out of my own head - I’m using movie and TV lines constantly. Heavily lifted from The Simpsons, with other stuff thrown in.
Some favorites:
When seeing someone outraged over something silly: “Won’t someone pleeease think of the children?”
When someone stumbles on his words: “Ooh, he card read good!”
When I’m confused: “Shot who in the what now?”
When I want someone to pay no attention to me: “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for (with little hand-wave thing)” OR “Move along folks, nothing to see here… OHMYGOD a horrible plane crash! Gather round, people!”
When someone suggests it’s bedtime “Yay, sleep! That’s where I’m a Viking!”
Randomly and often used:
“Good shot, Red Two!”
“Laugh it up, fuzzball”
“Tastes like burning”
Oh, and I also use “Nom nom nom” a lot now, but that’s not from movies or TV.
Of course, now that I’m trying to think of them all, I’m having a hard time. I’ll have to pay attention to what I’m saying today and report back here afterwards. I’m bringing a notebook to work.
I remembered quite a few more that I do.
I routinely yell “WHAT HAS SCIENCE DOOONNEE” whenever I either a) get a gameover of sorts or b) make food using the microwave.
I will also say “Oh, that way madness lies” whenever I pass specific rooms in the house.
Not movies, but:
From the Simpsons: “Everythings coming up Simplicio” when things are going well
and one that gets me weird looks: “We’ll all be rich…rich as Nazi’s”
From News Radio: “It’s an enigma wrapped in a riddle smothered with secret sauce”
Also, I find myself yelling “how long have I been asleep!!” whenever something unexpected happens. I feel I must’ve picked it up from a movie somewhere, but don’t know where. Any ideas?
Oh, me too, but not out loud!
Out loud I stick with any and all lines from The Emperor’s New Groove; the latest, upon hearing of Eartha Kitt’s death: “Well, she ain’t getting’ any deader!”
Sorry, Eartha, I loved you!
My wife just used “I feel …like… butter scraped over too much bread” the other day to describe how she felt about chasing our newly mobile nine month old daughter all over the house. And she’s not an LOTR fan.
When I consider our financial situation in this recession I find myself thinking “The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail.”
I’m picturing a college calculus professor standing at his podium shouting “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
Whenever I’m explaining why something is a bad idea, I always think (and sometimes say) “Cats and dogs, living together, mass hysteria!”
I’ve started saying “Son of a crap!” when annoyed. It’s from the Goblins web-comic.
When I’m struggling with something, I sometimes say “whatever I’m struggling with is hard!” in a whiny, ditzy voice a la the talking barbie doll that had “Math is hard!” as one of the random things she said when her string was pulled.
This one is actually a reference to a reference to a movie, but on the Customers Suck message board (a message board where retail/custer support folks can vent about asshole customers), one of the posters as an animated avatar. It shows the kicking-the-Persian-into-the-pit scene from 300. The caption has the Persian demanding a discount, and the king responding with “Discount?! This! Is! Clearance!” So now, whenever I’m browsing clearance/going out of business/etc sales, and I overhear people bitching about poor selection or something, I always think to myself “What do they expect? This! Is! Clearance!”
Me too!
I also use the “these are not the droids” line when I’ve done something dumb and want people to stop paying attention to me.
I frequently use the Sleep Viking line, usually when referring to a cat.
When I am frustrated by people I often shout, “Rocks fall, everyone dies!”
And whenever a whipped topping is involved it must be called Cool Whip with the emphasis on the “wh” sound. Extra points if you can work in other “wh” words and pronounce them the same.
The OP actually asked for lines you think to yourself, but there aren’t many I won’t say out loud.
Grr, missed the edit window. This should be customer support, not custer support.
whine Typing is hard!