Mr. Finn was a (technical) wizard
Who devised a (mechanical) lizard.
With his lover Louise
They sailed over the seas
And caused a (metaphorical) blizzard.
The Purpose-Driven Life, by Reverend Rick Warren is a recent surprise best-seller, with sales driven largely by wildfire word-of-mouth raves among the Christian community.
It’s a 40-day course in discovering the purpose of life through exploration of Biblical scripture. It has inspired countless reading groups and has become a touchstone for heart-to-heart evangelism.
This month, a woman held hostage by fugitive killer Brian G. Nichols managed to “talk him down” and apparently allow himself to be captured after discussing her faith, and particularly this book and its theology. Her story, reported in newspapers and other media nationwide, has sparked a resurgence in sales.
I seem to be stuck with the Shakespearean tragedies.
Lese majeste? Barbarian!
Scots parvenu vulgarian!
Although she’s ambitious
Eschew your wife’s wishes
One tip: look up “caesarean”
By the way, thanks to all for the fantastic input on this thread so far- one of the funniest and cleverest I’ve seen in - well, ever, and I think we owe ourselves a collective pat on the back: I will get round to providing a complete bibliography of everything we’ve truncated, I promise {although some are still eluding me… thanks to whoever started not providing titles for theirs - a lovely touch, which added that element of “Oh, I get it.”
A lady schoolteacher named Dunn
Would take home strange men for her fun
The lesson for sluts?
Some bars contain nuts
Just take Mr. Goodbar, for one
If a man wants to act he should hire a
Good teacher, though she may require a
Student to deal
With the question “what’s real?”
Especially if her name is Myra
The Amity beach crowd withdrew
As the water turned redder than blue
The season’s a dud
Though the red’s only blood
They think it’s red dye #2
Welcome on board, Peyton Farquhar. An auspicious debut, if I may say so.
You may. Thanks!
Those Gilead boys, for the fun of it,
Fixed the banks so the girls would have none of it.
Young Offred, I’m afraid,
Must get laid to get paid,
But says “Fuck this” and runs off to Nunavut.
Grace Marks a Canuck life has built
Till her boss and his lass wind up kilt.
She says he’d distressed her
And her best friend possessed her;
Goes to jail, gets out, then makes a quilt.
Roughneck mobile infantry bucks
Joined by Rico–a warrior deluxe
Don’t say he looks cute
In his mechanized suit
(And the movie su-hu-hu-hu-hucks)
In a U.S. controlled by Japan
Wu is trinketized by one young man
Hawthorne looked to the stars
Saw the real world was ours
Found his book under a German ban
Sent to bed without dinner again,
Max’s bad attitude is a sin!
Took a dream boat, you see,
To where Wild Things roam free
And he Let The Wild Rumpus Begin!
Ichabod, up the Hudson, we follow
To Tareytown, and Sleepy Hollow
I can buy “He’s a teacher”
and the “Hot Heiress” feature
But a ghost Horseman? Too much to swallow.
When Grendel grasp’d Heorot and rent it,
a great Geat sailed off to defend it.
First they had a fine feast,
then he disarmed the beast.
And when he said “Your mama!”… he meant it!
This writer took a bad job in Paris
Bad, but what’s really unfair is
When he got back to London
He tramped - causing bunions -
And being down and out, was embarrassed.
(Not a novel - ‘novel’ is a socially contructed memetic trope - but staying with George Orwell…)
Filled with radical socialist zeal
Young Eric went to taste war for real.
Swapping doss-house for trench
Diff’rent people, same stench,
He returned with less zeal but more real
A mole in the jury. That’s wacky!
“Care to purchase a verdict?” How tacky!
But our mole takes both sides
For a twelve-million ride
In a lawsuit against big Tobacc-y
Excellent, NPC - perfect summation of the book - and a rattling good read it was. Whereas King of Torts was dire.
Daughter and horse get hit by a truck.
Mum and Dad aren’t having much luck.
Back on the range,
Things are most strange.
Jesus heals all with a fuck.
A young New York Catholic punk
lives for basketball, ganja, and junk.
Though he longs to be pure,
prostitution’s no cure.
(By the way… the movie was bunk!)
The Superflu brought so much pain, oh,
And with evil a raging volcano
Flagg’s triumph seemed certain
Until King drew the curtain
By pulling a deus ex ano :rolleyes:
A handsome ex-soldier named Jay,
Turned to crime and he made it pay.
He took up with Daisy
Her husband went crazy
And Wilson then blew Jay away.
deus ex ano is my new favorite phrase! Thanks, BG.
And it reminds me of this book…
When a deep-space ebola descends,
the fate of the whole world depends
on some guys underground
who almost melt down.
When the bug self destructs, the book ends.
Hats off to the admirable Crichton
For demystifying medieval fighting
Despite the quantum travel
The plot starts to unravel
With characters colder than Triton