# Lousy reporting- 17K boxes of girl scout cookies

I think it kicks ass that they didn’t just have mom and dad solicit coworkers for sales, but actually went out and sold them all by themselves.
(Although I see nothing wrong with having mom and dad pimping the cookies-where ELSE would some of us get our fix?)

Do the math.
1 box = 3.50 2 box = 7.00
3 box = \$10.50
4 box = \$14.00
5 box = \$17.50
“Here’s my \$20.00 little girl”
6 box = \$21.00

Four boxes of cookies at \$3.50 a box is \$14.00. The change from a twenty is \$6.00. If she sells an additional box for that plus a dollar she is ripping off the customer. \$7.00 should buy two boxes, not one.

Man. Just wait until she gets into bukkake.

I took it to mean 4 boxes @ \$14, one more box for \$1, = 5 boxes for \$15, saving 50 cents a box.

Selling period of 5 weeks at 6 days a week (Sunday is a day off) / 24 hours a day.

5 x 6 x 24 = 720 hour total.

Michigan minimum wage \$7.15 hour x 720 hours = \$5,148

Instead, she get’s a trip to Europe? Probably a fair trade-off in her case. Although she didn’t earn it all herself.

My problem? Using children as an unpaid sales force for your product.

Yes yes, I know, it’s tradition! And the children learn how to be assertive, and organized, and creative, and…and cut-throat and whoring. Meanwhile, cookie manufacturer or wrapping paper manufacturer gets \$!

(Maybe I just have a personal issue with the whole thing since that time back in the '60’s when I was 7 and selling garden seeds door-to-door. The nice man just wanted to show me his model boats in the basement, that’s all…)

What do you mean wait?

See, the trick is to end up with less seed than you started with, not more.

I’ve got an even better reason than the two girls have given to protest the sales. People are too fat and the sales add how many calories?

Wouldn’t that be a good trivia to find out?

How many calories do all the Girl Scout cookies sold in one year add up to?

Somebody check my math.

2 PeanutButterPatties have 150 calories. There are 16 cookies in a box.

75 x 16 = 1200 calories in a box

x 17,000 = 20,400,000

Have no idea what it signifies, but, hey, let’s call a press conference and protest it.

That comes out to… a lot of poop.

So she sells a lot of fatty, sugary cookies that taste good. That’s no major accomplishment. I’d be more impressed if she sold 17,000 boxes of organic, low calorie cookies. Now that would be newsworthy.

:smack: Math, shmath.

I suspect that if you analyzed the ingredients of almost anything, you could find something whose cultivation is detrimental to some threatened species somewhere.

I’m particularly proud of my latest recipe, “Baby Seal Surprise.”

That’s what I was going to say…isn’t palm oil conceivably used in other cookies? I mean, by that rationale, you’d have to give up all cookies, and that is something I don’t think anyone is prepared to do. Or at least, they’d have to be damned cute orangutans

The two Girl Scouts who objected to the palm-oil-containing cookies decided to sell magazines instead. Presumably actual paper ones, the production of which involves cutting down trees. Granted, usually ones especially grown in a tree farm, as opposed to virgin old-growth trees, but still.

It certainly came as a surprise to the baby seal.

Orangutans sold 17,000 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies in Dearborn?!

Or even 200 boxes of organic bean sprouts.

For record-setting purposes, I’m surprised some enterprising Girl Scouts haven’t teamed up to sell cookies at Ohio’s drive-through booze and cigarette outlets. Loads of people would add boxes of cookies to their six-packs and smokes-to-go. You could probably sell 17 million boxes that way, especially if the moms showed up in racy attire to help out.