Listen, here’s the thing with that. She and I have different approaches to disagreement. Some families think it’s okay to raise your voice or curse. My mother never curses at me, and we never raised our voices. My father, who is a total whackjob, did both, but we were rboguth up to think that was because he was a total whackjob and so I can’t help that mentally, I file her behavior under “nutso whackjobbery” and try to ignore it. That doesn’t mean I don’t empathize with her, or the situation I’m putting my fiancé in. You can’t compartmentalize people’s feelings when it comes to their family, and I would never dream of deliberately putting him in the situation since it boils down to me setting parameters with her.
He was pretty much raised by only his mother, and being the laid-back guy he is, in the past, has gotten her used to making a lot of decisions for him. Now, I can’t think of a single time when she was wrong or not acting in his best interests. She’s a take-charge, strong lady, and I admire her capacity to thrive despite some pretty bad shakes. Her daughter and she share basically the same opinions and tastes, and her daughter’s husband rarely, if ever, diverges from that. I think it’s a bit of a wake-up call to her that she’s not going to get to call the shots anymore. I’m deferring a lot on this wedding thing, but I don’t in other areas.
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