If both people in the coupling are doing so because they love the other person, would that discount most of the hurt, I wonder. And would the act be morally ok in Gods eyes, karmically speaking.
Yeah those unhealthy relationships are a doozy.
One of my favorite Hendrix songs.
Assuming that the two people in question aren’t currently married to (or otherwise in committed relationships to) other people, and are in a healthy relationship with each other, I would think so.
Then again, while I’m a Christian, I’m a liberal who belongs to a liberal church. There are many conservative churches and religious groups who have a different view (even if they ostensibly worship the same God that I do), and they believe that any sex that is between two people who are not married to each other (even if those two people are in a loving, healthy relationship with each other) is de facto sinful. So, your mileage may vary.
Exactly this. Marriage is a promise, and, in traditional marriage, there is a promise not to have sex with someone else. It’s possible someone might want to rescind that promise, but then they need to actually do so–this is known as divorce.
I would also argue that, if you are having sex with a married person, and you know that they are married, and that said marriage had the traditional promise, then you are also doing something immoral. You are being an enabler to the other person’s violation of their promise.
If it’s two people who are unmarried, or any sort of marriage where there the promise allows having sex with someone else, then it gets outside of anything I can say for certain. There are some belief systems that would argue it is immoral for some reason or another, and those would need to be judged on their claims.
I myself refuse to make a judgement in those cases. Currently, however, I am not inclined to participate in any of them myself.
Or simply have a conversation with your spouse and explain that sexual exclusivity has been taken off the counter. You don’t need to divorce, especially if the partner in question nods and says “OK, as long as it’s mutual” and they decide to stay married.
I never wanted to be married. My form of poly doesn’t privilege one relationship and make the other relationships “secondary”.
Thanks. I wonder if their is scripture that puts love above the ritual of marriage. Maybe its the one that said when 2 ppl have sex they are now one in Gods eyes.
Ok thanks
You seem to be the religious type…but I don’t recall that verse being in the Bible. Where is it?
I will try to find it.
It is a common repeated theme in scriptures. Here is a direct answer (one of many many):
1 Corinthians 6:16
Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.”
But it is a common tactic of evil to try to unite sexually to gain some power and control as seen in Rev 8:3. Other Examples is the angels who came to rescue Lot’s family in Genesis, the people of Sodom wanted to ‘know them’ (in that special way).
“Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.””
I’m sorry, but that seems to be the exact opposite of " they are now one in Gods eyes".
It’s easy to take a old testament view, as what is law is states in words (thou shall not). And people condemned to death for committing those things. But lets look at Jesus instead, as the old testament leads to death itself is what He taught. We can only understand the context of the OT by the Light of the NT and the Love of the Lord.
John 8:1-11 is the story about the woman caught in the act of adultery. Remember that Jesus was also being tested by the Pharisees and what He said had to be in a way that would not have Him counter scripture. Now lets look at what He said:
“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Here Jesus states basically that the OT laws lead to death, even for the accusers of the violation. The pharisees are just as guilty as her and under the same sentence.
“Then neither do I condemn you,”
Jesus does not condemn her, if Jesus Himself did not condemn her what wrong did she actually do?
“Go now and leave your life of sin
This is interesting that could be taken 2 ways. If we leave out the OT (which Jesus sort of dismissed onto her in that the law was not against her), we could take this that the marriage she was in was her life of sin, and in other words get out of it and be with the one you love.
We can also look to the words of the Lord in regards to marriage in Matt 22:30
At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven .
If so marriage itself seems to be a worldly process, and does not continue in the afterlife. Did Adam need to get married to Eve? No. Marriage was not needed then. It appears that it is only here in the fallen world that it appears. However there is the union of Christ and the Church, which appears to be the real biblical eternal meaning of marriage. Perhaps Satan has at times used marriage to block who God wants to get together, perhaps that above women that Jesus set free.
Another interesting biblical case is King David and Bathsheba. But lets start with Uriah and Bathsheba. Lets look at their marriage and see if it seems correct:
- Uriah was away on military duty.
- Their home was close enough to the palace for the King to see Bathsheba take a bath and know he desired her. (this is important)
- The King and Bathsheba have sex. Was this love, was this support to be or was this lust. Lets read on.
- Bathsheba returns now pregnant to the King
- King David gives Uriah 2 opportunities to spend a night at home with his wife (we are looking at this from the perspective to see if the marriage is sound, or is it a bad marriage, so not David’s motivation)
- Again Bathsheba and his home is very close to the palace where Uriah is, and has been given a free pass twice to see his wife who he has not seen in quite some time AND… both time Uriah decides he would rather sleep on the steps of the palace then go home. What this says about the marriage is very telling that it was not a marriage made in heaven, more like one planned in Hell.
But why would Satan want to do this? Perhaps because David and Bathsheba is in Jesus’ lineage who Satan tries to destroy?
But lets look further:
- King David murders Uriah through putting him in a position in war that he will die.
- King David laments the murder, prays for forgivness for the murder, writes multiple psalms of lament for the murder, but does not ask for forgiveness for the adultery - never.
- God eventually forgives King David or murder, with some penalties - including the loss of their first child, God never mentions adultery either.
Was the act of adultery the sin, or the control over the situation King David took from God when he ordered the death of Uriah. Not trusting the Lord but manipulating the circumstances. In the end and with the proof that it was in Jesus’ lineage it seems like David and Bathsheba were in love, not lust. It was God’s intent and purpose.
How So? How is becoming one in flesh not becoming one in God’s eyes. What distinction are you drawing?
They are not one in flesh in our eyes, they are still 2 people, so who’s eyes are then one in?
This is getting more and more interesting with every post. So both of the people in the marriage are in love and having extra-marital sex with the “other” person? It sounds to me like all three ought to consider pooling their resources to buy a slightly bigger house.
Also, if this mattered to god one little bit, he’d probably build in some sort of safety “off” switch, or an alarm warning system.
Right right thankyou so much
I’m considerably surprised that nobody has apparently even considered Adam and Eve. As far as the Bible goes, this case is basically the Platonic Ideal of marriage.
Genesis 2:22-24–
“And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
This is why traditional marriage ceremonies contain phrases like “forsaking all others,” and “what God has joined, let no man put asunder.”
The Bible is very clear that a husband and wife become essentially one person in God’s eyes. Some people believe that it is not the marriage ceremony, but the act of having sexual relations, that creates that joining.
I’m not sure that “one flesh” (or the Hebrew words that are translated as “one flesh”) mean the same thing as “one person.”
I would like to know more on what other meaning can be associated with the Hebrew words.
We also have this:
1Cor 6:15: Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
Which seems based on the concept in Eph 5, which relates the marriage of man and woman to that of Christ and the church 
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
As it is called a profound mystery, it is something that only can be revealed by the reliever of mysteries, which is God. So to us it is something not understandable. But it does hint as to a union beyond that of which we know.
Looking at Christ and the church, we get Jesus’ name, we share in His inheritance, we will do all the things He does, we get the same spirit (Holy Spirit), we are also sons and daughters of God, we are members of His body.
This type of relationship is used also for marriage.
Can you clarify?
When you say “outside of traditional marriage” do you mean:
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You’re married, and you’re having sex with someone else. “Outside”, in this case, means breaking marriage vows.
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You and your sexual partner are a couple but unmarried to each other. “Outside”, in this case, means “before”.
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Either/or. Sex with someone who’s not your spouse, no matter what