Loved Ones You've Never Argued With

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)
#1

I was just thinking about this randomly, and it occurred to me that my Aunt and I, as close as we are and have been for 29 years, have never gotten into an argument. I don’t even think we’ve ever been mad at each other. Even when she was supervising me as a kid, I never got in trouble. I can’t say the same for my husband, my closest friends or other relatives that I know just as well.

I couldn’t even really tell you why we get along so well. We’re very similar in personality, but so are my husband and I and we argue from time to time. I even lived with her for a year in a very high-stress situation.

Is this weird? Does anyone else experience this?

#2

Now that I’m an adult, I don’t generally argue with my family. Even if I’m in a discussion over sensitive issues, we tend not to get heated. I think it might be because I have other outlets and I spent a few years arguing/debating with the attitude that I’m always right and no one else’s view could possibly be correct (okay, not that bad) and I got over that.

#3

By the way, I don’t mean to imply that it’s typical to argue all the time with your loved ones. I’m more commenting on the anomaly of never having a disagreement with someone close to you.

#4

I’ve never had a disagreeable word with my husband. We’ve been together over 5 years.

My sister and I end up pissed off at each other every time we are together more than an hour.

#5

I was just thinking the other day about how I’ve never had a fight with my best friends. They’re a couple - I was best friends with her first then like 2 years later him as well. That was about 18 years ago.

Anyway, I get frustrated with both of them but never to the point of having an argument or not wanting to be friends with them anymore. I just get frustrated to myself and roll my eyes and that’s about it.

Granted, we don’t see each other every day anymore (we did in school and in college) so maybe they’re doing shit that would make me angry when I’m not around but…man, whenever I hang out with them it’s always SO nice. I just beam :slight_smile:

#6

The entire concept of refraining from disagreement with someone because they’re family eludes me.

#7

My grandma had a big hand in raising me because my mom worked. I never argued with her. That is, until Alzheimer’s took over but I don’t think that really counts.

#8

I’ve never had an argument with any of my nieces and they’re already out of college. I have never had an argument with most of my cousins either. I had a great uncle that I never had words with either.

I’m not really an argumentative guy. I’ve only had one argument with my current roommate and we’ve been roomies for 5 years. Neither of us are argumentative guys even though we both have habits that are annoying. Annoying can be dealt with, arguments do damage.

#9

I’ve known my BFF since highshool, so that’s 30 years and counting. We never once had an argument, not even a falling out. If I call her on the phone because I feel bad, she always makes me feel better. My husband mostly can’t do that, and he now says when I bug him for emotional support: “go and call BFF, you’ll feel better”

I often think I should have married her instead of my husband. :slight_smile:

As for why…I think she is very good with emotions, and just always knows what I’m feeling and says the things that fit. And I’ve come to trust her, so conversations don’t get derailed by mistrust and misunderstandings; we automatically assume that when in doubt, the other meant it positively. That is another thing: we do mean each other well, and we knw we do. And we know each other so well at this point.

#10

To be honest, I can’t think of a loved one that I haven’t argued with. I mean, I thought that’s what family was for, right? To be disagreeable? :wink:

#11

I come from a large, very Italian family. The concept of a loved one with whom one never argues is as foreign to me as the idea of too many kinds of meat at dinner.

#12

Just the opposite for me. The idea of arguing with loved ones is very strange to me.

My Wife and I have had one argument. Really it was a misunderstanding. Today is our 15th anniversary.

#13

Italian families are very like Indian families. I mean, there is no way we are going home from any kind of gathering without *someone *sulking. And we’re LOUD. My SO is totally not used to it. And everyone talks at once, over each other, and man do we fight!

We also love hard though. Our hugs are close and tight and there’s lots of kisses.

I will never be 100% comfortable in my SO’s house because they are much cooler. Before his brother got married, there were never any fights at holidays, and all of their hugs are sort of half-hearted things. Passions do not run high in their family.

Now the marriage has brought a lot more tension into the house, but still, nowhere near mine and will never ever be. My passions run high, though these days I conceal them very well.

So in short, there is no one I love whom I never fought with. I don’t have that kind of personality, to never disagree. Well, I take that back - I love my family in India, and I’ve never fought with them, but I don’t exactly see them often.

#14

Growing up, my siblings and I went at it non-stop. In high school, my older brother and I got into a couple of knock-down, drag-out fist fights and my younger brother and I mixed it up more than once.

Seems graduating from college (May 1990) was the ending point to all of that nonsense. For a while I would occasionally fuss with my older brother but that seemed to be more for the sport of it. Haven’t had a cross word with my younger brother in all that time and we now all get along swimmingly.

#15

My family is a group of fighters and that includes me. My middle brother and I have only gotten into one fight in our lives. Unfortunately, it started the day he was born and still hasn’t ended yet. I don’t fight with my youngest brother but a few times a day when we are together though.

The only people I never got into a fight with were my paternal great-grandmother, my paternal grandmother, and my ex-MIL.

#16

I’ve argued with everyone in my family except my brother.

-My sisters and I have had sort of an ongoing, boil-beneath-the-surface problematic relationship all of our adult lives, but that’s because they’re willfully arrogant and find fault with everything.
-My mother is overly critical and while I can usually let it roll off of me, sometimes I take the bait and then am angry with myself later.
-My dad and I had some serious fights growing up, although since I’ve been an adult, those have pretty much stopped.
-My wife and I have argued before, but not in a few years.
-I argue with my kids pretty occasionally, but they’re kids and I usually win them (;)).
-I’m not really close enough with any aunts/uncles/cousins/neices/nephews to find myself annoyed enough to rise to the level of an argument.

But I can’t think of one actual argument I’ve ever had with my brother. He occasionally does stuff that annoys me, but not enough to ever mention it.

#17

I haven’t argued with most of my family. Mother and father, sure. Grandparents, not that I can remember. Aunts, uncles, cousins, no.

#18

Ummmm, my cats? That’s about it.

There’s plenty of people that I’ve never argued with, even among my relatives. But none of them are close enough to be “loved ones”. If I love you, I’ll probably argue with you, but I’ll try very hard not to.

Actually, now that I think about it, I have yelled at my cats occasionally. So no, there’s no one.

#19

I think my family argues when we are bored. I remember visits to my grandparents house as a kid, and everybody argued about something.

My 31/2 year old son already loves to argue.

#20

I don’t recall ever having an argument with my sister. (She’s 48, I’m 41.)

Unless “I don’t want to eat that jello! It’s rubbery!” / “You asked for it, you eat it” counts as an argument? I was four, I think.

Apart from that, I don’t remember ever having a disagreement with her. I think we both describe each other as the only sane member of our immediate family. I’m grateful to her for a lot.