Lovingly dedicated to anti-Masonic tin-foil-hat-or-skullcap-wearers

The BBQ Pit
1

Okay, listen up you conspiracy theorists! I have had it with you bashing the Freemaons!

No, the Freemasons are not out to destroy Christianity.

No, the Freemasons are not out to destroy Islam.

No, the Freemasons are not out to steal your money.

No, the Freemasons are not out to establish a one-world government.

No, the Freemasons are not out to deprive you of your freedoms.

No, the Freemasons are not out to worship Satan, Lucifer, or anything else evil.

No, the Freemasons are not out to “convert” you.

No, the Freemasons are not out to brainwash you into their ranks.

No, the Freemasons are not out to implant symbols into your brains suggesting their awesome dominance over everything.

No, the Freemasons are not out to save you with their own religion.

No, the Freemasons do not believe they are the straight and right and only path to Heaven or Salvation or God or all of the above.

No, the Freemasons do not control the government of the United States of America.

No, the Freemasons do not control any other government.

No, the Freemasons do not follow Albert Pike or any one authority. (Each Grand Lodge is autonomous; there is no one central, universal, worldwide Masonic authority.)

The biggest thing Freemasons worry about is getting enough recruits to survive all the old Masons dying, so they can run their programs, buildings, and hospitals. The last thing they need to worry about is ruling the world or destroying a religion.

So take off your tin-foil hats (or tin-foil skullcaps) and consider actual facts for once rather than your contrived garbage! (Maybe if I have a bad day I should read your trash, so I can feel good - with “proof” - that we Masons control the universe!)

WRS/Thû - We are a Master Mason (and 32-degree Scottish Rite Mason, and Shriner), and We approve this message (although other Masons and Masonic bodies may not approve this message; void where prohibited; must be 18 years old or older (21 in certain jurisdictions) and male to apply.) This rant was inspired by an actual falsehood-ridden anti-Masonic rant on one of the Muslim message boards We frequent.

2

But… but my tinfoil hat is so charming and effective!

3

crosses “join Freemasons” off his to-do list…

4

Hey! My Papa’s a Freemason, are you trying to tell me he doesn’t do any of that stuff? Are you trying to tell me he’s not cool? :mad:

5

HA!! I see you SPECIFICALLY left out “The Freemansons are not helping aliens abduct human females in order to breed a super race which will take over the world” !! Caught you!

My dad was a mason. My grandfather, too. I was always kinda jealous I couldn’t be.

6

Maureen - there’s always the Eastern Star, with its own very cool upside-down star so you can be the target of nonsensical accusations too!

WRS - where’s the world domination the Freemasons promised me? Oh, you mean they were the Trilateral Illuminati UN Commission? Oooops.

7

So, if they’re only involved in programs (whatever the hell they might be) and construction and hospitals, why the need for so much secrecy about their activities then?

Is it just overgrown boys playing Boy’s Club stuff? If so, why should we take them seriously at all.

:rolleyes:

8

They do not control the British crown?

They do not hold the metric system down?

9

Nor do they, it seems, keep Atlantis off the maps.

Nor the Martians under wraps – as evidenced by fine documentaries like Signs and The X-Files.

10

You left out the most important part: the Zionist-Freemason alliance. Can I take its absence from your list to mean that you do not deny it?

11

kambuckta - you got it.

I do not think anyone can give the real reason how secrecy came about and why it should remain, but I would suppose that the reason it continues to exist is because of tradition. Masons take pride in the “fact” that their rules, rituals, and even wording go back centuries, supposedly without change. The real origin of many things in Freemasonry has been lost.

But they’re not hiding anything. For what it’s worth, you can find out everything online or in books. Plenty of people have “exposed” Freemasonry’s rituals.

It’s just men getting together, doing their rituals, then doing what really matters: building and running hospitals, offering scholarships, and other charitable works.

WRS/Thû

12

Nah, the only thing Freemasons do is wear hats that were banned in Turkey a few generations ago and drive silly looking mini cars in holiday parades. Not a threat to the world, those guys. About all they could do is run over you while they’re doing donuts in the intersection.

Oh, and they still think they’ve got something to hide from the gals.

13

You can be a Mason. My grandmother was. Do a Google search on “masons le droit humain” and you’ll see.

14

Actually, there are lodges of Masons that admit men and women. There’s a term for them, but I can’t recall it.

However, I don’t they’re recognized my many Grand Lodges. Maybe if most Masons were young and willing to let go of tradition this would change.

WRS

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I think that’s the Shiners.

Yeah, like you’re gonna admit to it. :rolleyes:

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It’s the Shriners.

WRS - who is one.

17

So who made Steve Gutenberg a star?

18

There you go. So, you’re a double agent?

19

Pfft…you had me right up till the part where only men can apply.

My mom always said that any “boys-only” club was either up to no good, or an excuse to do stupid things where women can’t see and give them shit about it, and that either way, if their wives knew what they were doing, they’d probably be in trouble for doing it. :wink:

(I’m not sure what she meant, but these days I always picture the “gentlemens’ clubs” from Jeeves and Wooster grin)

20

You don’t have to, you can always just fuck off and leave people be and do your own thing (whatever the hell that may be). :wally