Lovitz Beats Dick

The thing about Lovitz is that he’s one of those comedians who never seem to go out of character, even when they’re not performing. In nearly two decades, I’ve never had a hint on who the real Jon Lovitz is.

Well, it seems now that the real Jon Lovitz is a bad ass mother fucker. Who knew?

You thought it should have been “Lovitz gives Dick a Licking”?

I want to comment on the title, too, before the thread gets off the first page.

I missed the Paris Hilton blog entry.

Anyway, I find the character Joe a lot more likable than the actor Joe. However, you need to wonder if he tried to base his public persona on the Joe character, since the show was so popular, but instead took it too far. The other possibility, of course, being that Joe’s character was based on the real him - the conspiracy nut part most particularly.


And here I thought Jon Lovitz had made some sort of assault on the Vice-President.

But this is good, too.

Oh, and to add to the fun of Alternative Thread Titles…

Lovitz Beats Dick Limp

Little Dick Beaten By Big Jon


That’s the ticket, Jon. :wink:

Never fight a Jew over just desserts.

Better than “Lovitz Takes Dick.”

Lovitz slaps Dick around.
Lovitz gives Dick a good seeing to.
Lovitz gets a bit rough with Dick, claims ‘It felt good, I should have done that years ago.’

I always liked Lovitz.

Or pithier…Lovitz Licks Dick.

That’s a really bizarre story. I get Lovitz being pissed at Andy Dick, but I don’t get him blaming Andy (indirectly) for Phil Hartman’s death. Are we supposed to believe that was the first time Brynn Hartman had been at a party with cocaine in 10 years?

The story says he “gave” her the cocaine, as opposed to doing it in her presence, but it’s probably not wise to parse a gossip item that closely.


My wife used to work with the sibling of one of the actors from NewsRadio, and that person said the same thing. He said that Andy Dick gave Brynn Hartman coke after Brynn had been off it for a while. Apparently Brynn was high when she shot Phil. So by the account I heard a few years ago (which seems to be backed up by Lovitz), Andy Dick contributed at least a little bit to the murder. Of course, I heard this a few people removed from the source, but it jives with the Page Six article.

You just can’t beat this story. Why?

You can’t beat a sore Dick!

“I would have helped you clean your garage, but I was busy beating the crap out of Andy Dick with my wife…Morgan Fairchild!”

Well, that might be true, but that wasn’t what I was saying. So what if Andy Dick offered her a line? Had she not been to any Hollywood parties where cocaine was present in her 10 years of sobriety? Just because you offer someone a drug doesn’t mean you are responsible for their behavior once they take it. Assuming the story is true, Andy Dick was very minimally guilty in any regard to the Phil Hartman murder.

After having read the story, I have to say it sounds like an unjustified, criminal battery by Lovitz.

To sum up the events as described in the article:

Andy Dick gives some blow to Phil Hartman’s wife after she had been sober for ten years

Six months later, she kills Hartman.

Lovitz is cast to refill Hartman’s spot on Newsradio. He tells Dick, “I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t given Brynn that cocaine.”

The rest of it in Lovitz’s own words:

According to the story, Lovitz picked Dick up “by the head” and repeatedly smashed him into a bar, bloodying Dick’s nose in the process.

Now what did Dick say or do that justified a physical assault? Lovitz DID basically accuse him of killing Phil Hartman, like Dick could have possible predicted what his wife would do or as if there is any real reason to connect the murder to Dick giving her some coke a few months earlier. Andy dick and Phil Hartman were close friends and Dick has said for years that he was devastated by the murder. Lovitz accusing him of causing the murder was very uncool.

I can’t see anything that justifies the assault here and I think Andy Dick was totally justified in being offended by Lovitz’s accusation.

Nice little homophobic dig by Lovitz, by the way…“I don’t hit women.” Very adult.

Clearly, you haven’t seen his movies.