I was driving back from dinner with my girlfriend and she suggested that we listen to the city’s new hit music station. Shortly thereafter, we heard Keri Hilson’s “Knock You Down,” featuring Kanye West and Ne-Yo. The lyrics in question:
I only caught that first line before my mind filled with questions. Just how many commanders does a pimp ship need? What the hell is this pimp ship anyway: is it a plane or more like an airborne yacht? Though my questions remain unanswered, it was just a brief pause before I was laughing hysterically.
What other lyrics do you know of that feature such tortured metaphors, or otherwise are so bad to induce cringing or hysterical laughter?
Especially people who care about strangers
Who care about evil and social injustice
This is the shorthand my spouse and I use to refer to any piece of music that contains tortured or otherwise labored lyrics. “Social injustice” is a phrase that does not belong in a popular song.
Three that particularly bug me because they are repeated throughout the song
The BoDeans’ Good Things: “I can see good things for you and I”
I understand that “for you and me” doesn’t rhyme but it bugs me anyway.
Mr. Mister’s Broken Wings: “Take these broken wings, and learn to fly again”
If this is meant to be a Beatles homage it’s way off the mark, in a song that is lyrically pretty bad from start to finish.
The Who’s You Better You Bet: “You better bet your life/Or love will cut you, just like a knife”
Of all the obvious forced rhymes in rock, the “life/knife” one is the most trite, narrowly beating out “self/shelf”. And the fact that Pete not only repeats the rhyme but uses the rhythm to give it extra emphasis, makes me feel like his rubbing my nose in it: “Ha, you stupid sheeple rock fan, I can put whatever jerk-off words in my song that I want and it will be played on the radio a bazillion times and you can’t do anything about it, Bwah-haa-haa!”
Of course there’s the famous, In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain
From “A Horse with no Name” by America.
One I understand, even though it’s phrased funny is, Gonna take some time to do the things we never had
From “Africa” by Toto.
I had to think about to realize that they meant, take some time to do the things we never had time to do, but since they leave off “time to do” it makes the lyrics sound weird.
I know you’re all getting sick of me referencing the trio of trash that is Train, but darn it ,you can’t have a thread about sucky lyrics without Train being at the top of the list. “Can you imagine no love, pride, *deep-fried chicken *, your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know your wrong” indeed.
Another one I find just plain awkward is Eve Six’s “Inside Out”
"I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rinds but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside. . . "
The lack thereof? Who the hell says the lack thereof? Why not throw in a couple of “henceforths” and a few “ergos” while they’re at it.
Scandal - “The Warrior” - “Your eyes touch me physically.” Really? REALLY? His eyes are physically touching you?
My husband has a hard time getting over the Backstreet Boys’ lyric from “Shape of My Heart” - “Now let me show you the shape of my heart.” Oooo-kay. Backing away slowly.
That song was a cover of a song from the musical Hair. When you take a theater tune out of the context of the larger work in which it’s embedded, that’s what can happen.
In the musical the character Sheila is singing quite specifically about Berger, a bleeding-crowd-loving hippie, who goes on and on about social injustice, yet he’s an oblivious callous bastard towards her. In the context of the show the lyrics are fine. When you singing it more generally, the lyrics are a little weird.
I disagree. Any song referring to both the way someone ‘walks’, and then rhyming it with the way that person ‘talks’, is exhibiting a horrific level of lazy rhyming.
Grrrr…that just reminded me of the song “White Hot” by Tom Cochrane & Red Rider, where he sings “by the Somalian shore”. Since when is “Somalian” pronounced “SUM a lion”?
I have the album on vinyl (shut up!). It’s written that way in the lyrics too, but the “e” in “modren” is also upside down, IIRC. So it’s seems to be some kind of deliberate effect, but I have no idea what the purpose is supposed to be.
From Johnny Be Good, by Chuck Berry:
*
Where lived a country boy named Johnny B. Goode
He never ever learned to read or write so well But he could play the guitar just like a ringin’ a bell
*
So I guess that must mean …
