Macho, Doofus Brother in Law!! (not just ranting, but foaming)

The BBQ Pit
21

If someone ever dreamed of doing anything like that near my sister or children related to any of my family I probably would have assaulted the jerk and whatever idiot wanted me to apologise to the jerk.

Nobody, but nobody messes with my baby sisters. And children? The mind boggles.

Of course knowing me, depending on the mood of the day, the discussion over the beer may have resulted in it being inserted anally.

I really don’t deal with people like that well. (I’m not saying that’s a good thing, just one of my personal hot buttons. Or more precisely almost all of them at once.)

22

Fuck the etiquette book. The OP done good. Assholes like that need putting in their place every now and then.

23

The OP dosn’t live there–she’s wrong.

Of course, if it was her house she’d have been right.

And if she had kids there, she would have been right to ask firmly or leave.

But she didn’t.

The person who acted outragously rude was the OP. And this is from a non-drinking, non-smoking, never-watched-a-football-game-in his-life non-jock.

24

I absolutely agree with mhendo. Maybe it wasn’t correct etiquette, but it was absolutely valid and commendable reaction. So you could’ve done better by trying to force the hosts into action, but I doubt it looked like they were all that willing to stand up at the time. So, while Miss Manners may be frowning, I give you two thumbs up and say “sod that jerk”.

25

Isn’t there an age limit where you come to realize that if you have to apologize for your friends, you no longer want to hang out with them? Perhaps the BIL needs to apologize to his MIL for inviting that crowd to her birthday celebration.

26

Rude guest: -10 points
Poor decision to admonish said guest on your part: -10 points

Its even in the end, try and let it go and avoid said jerk in the future as much as possible.

27

Maureen, my sister is 9 years my senior, and I still feel like ripping a muthaf*cka’s eyeballs out if they mess with her, so I feel you.

That said, I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable chewing out a (presumed) stranger for disrespecting her in her own home, because I would have felt that it wasn’t my place. (Now, I did once threaten to castrate a man who yanked Mardi Gras beads from my sister’s grasp and had the nerve to gloat . . . but I was young then, and besides, it wasn’t in anyone’s home. :wink: ) I would have approached my BIL about the (unbelievably rude!) behavior of his “buddy” and, if that failed to solve the problem, would have probably either spent the rest of the party making passive-aggressive remarks about the guy’s intellect and penis size, or removed myself from the situation.

That said, I don’t fault you for what you did, because I’m guessing that if your family is as outspoken as you say they are, they would have expected nothing less from you in the face of such appalling rudeness. In fact, I’ll bet they love you for it. At any rate, they should know by now that you is who you is, and if they can’t deal with it, they can leave you out of the potluck (the same, I’m afraid, goes for Dorko the Jerk–and apparently they DO know that he can be an ass). So I say keep fightin’ the good fight, Sister!

The next question is . . .

. . . will you sit on Dorko’s lap and give him a big, juicy kiss the next time you run into him at a party? :wink:

28

Dinsdale - I think my sister gave my BIL the money to pay for lunch…she felt bad, and she wanted to make sure we got it straight. She is very much the peacekeeper of the family. Which is a good thing, as all these Italian pipples have such a high drama quotient.

Bosda - I know I didn’t have my kids there. But my neice and several little ones were. I’m a nurse, and the “DON’T SMOKE AROUND THE KIDS!” thing is a knee jerk reaction. And it may not have been my house but, truthfully, if it was your kid sister, and your niece, would you really have let some jerk be that rude to her? And really, I was more angry with my BIL for asking (through my SISTER YET) me to apologize to his buddy. Fortunately, we had a sit down and worked that out.

Mhendo & Priam & Medea ; Cheers! Obviously people after my own heart. I just can’t bring myself to believe that saying what everyone else is thinking can be that bad a thing.

auntie em ; I want to party with you, lady. Mardi Gras next year, you & Me. & SO’s of course. I pretty much forgot Mr. Testosterone as soon as he left the room, because I know he will have arranged everything in his mind to make himself out the hero. His type always does. :wally As for the wet juicy one, well; I just can’t be sure I’m woman enough to approach such a fine example of masculinity…

29

It ain’y your home, ssssooooo…

ItAin’tYourBusiness***!

30

Actually, Maureen, I’m afraid of the real Mardi Gras. My sister and I used to go to a smaller, saner (if ersatz) version in Galveston when we both lived in Houston.

I’m a chicken shit that way; if I’m going to take a trip somewhere, all I need is a beach, someplace to lie down, and a bronze young cabana boy to bring me drinks and sandwiches.

:wink:

31

I figured the phrase “barefoot and pregnant” fit in there somewhere. Neanderthals like this give us guys a bad name. Maureen, am I correct in assuming that this isn’t the first time Neanderthal man was being rude?

auntie em, no need to be afraid of Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Just stick to the suburbs.

32

Thanks ever so, Bosda, for refusing to put yourself in anyone else’s shoes and not answer my question. God forfend you actually try and see anything from any other perspective but your own.

33

Jeff, you are DEAD ON. My sis told me on the phone last night he has been approached by many people, publicly and privately, to tell him what an ass he is. The fact that he hasn’t taken the hint leads me to believe my assumption is correct; restraining myself or saying what I thought didn’t really make one whit of difference to him. But at least it got him out of the room.

34

Umm the guy was smoking in a room full of kids AND with his pregnant wife there?

You did the right thing all the way. Although I have to agree with a few people that forced apologies serve very little purpose. They will never be sincere even if you can squeeze one out of somebody. And they will certainly hold a grudge against you for making them do it.

But I’m glad you stood up for what was right, screw etiquette.

I’m a little disappointed in Dan tho, he still couldn’t swallow his pride and say he was wrong while you were at dinner. But as long as it’s good between you guys I guess that’s all that counts in the end.

35

So, you were the only one with the guts to say something in a situation where a jackass was screwing around with the health of children and you’re in the wrong because it wasn’t your home?

I don’t think so.

36

Pink cabana boy, babe. You’re now officially unavailable to those of a darker shade. :wink:

Right. On.

37

Maureen, I just wanted to say I think you done the right thing, and point out to some other posters something that I thought some of them were missing, yea ok it wasnt Maureen’s house, but it wasnt the ‘‘Dorko’s’’ house either, so if Maureen doesnt have permission to act how she did, then Dorko certainly doesnt. Hope that makes sence. Anyway glad its all sorted out for the better.

38

Maureen, I also think you did a good job! When someone is being that obnoxious and no one else is saying anything, what else is a person to do? That man needed a rude awakening. Hopefully he’ll think twice before acting like such an asshole again.

And good for you for sticking up for the kids and the man’s pregnant wife. Extra points! :slight_smile:

39

Maureen, Em, and anyone else who wants to, come on down for Mardi Gras next year! Papa Tiger is being heavily recruited to ride in, of all things, Zulu – yes, that’s right, we’re going to rename him Papa Token for the occasion. (It’s a black krewe but they do try to bring in a few white riders – and hey, where else in this day and age can a white man run around in blackface and a fuzzy wig and still be politically correct? :smiley: ) Anyway, it’s lots of fun for the whole family as long as you stay away from where the tourists get drunk and disgusting. (Heavy on the disgusting!)

And if you could be that rude to that creep – which I fully support, BTW; I’m sorry, you at least were related to someone who lived in that house as well as some of the kids he was treating so badly, which in my book gives you a certain familial right to enter the fray no matter what Miss Manners might say – I cannot wait to see you deal with some of the Mardi Gras revelers! :smiley:

I think all men have at least one or two friends like Dorko, though. I met Papa Tiger’s friend Al one time. That was enough. My lord, I didn’t KNOW humans came that annoying. Every guy I’ve ever known had one friend who was just rampantly obnoxious. What is it with men and their strange friends? (I know, us wimmin have some odd ones ourselves, but at least ours grate on our nerves differently!)

40

I think a lot of you may be misunderstanding “Miss Manners.”

Yes, it would seem that the OP was in the wrong at first glance. But The rules are a bit different in a case where a “guest” is damaging the host’s property or the other guests.

In this case, Dorko was, in fact, damaging the host’s property by bringing a stinky cigar into a non-smoking house. And he was damaging the other guests by exposing them to stinky smoke. Yes, I know that a lot of you are thinking “aw, a little cigar smoke won’t kill a kid,” and that may be true, and it is the parents’ choice on whether to allow their kid to be exposed, but I think Maureen felt that the parents’ of the kids (Janet and Mrs. Dorko) were reluctant to stick up for the welfare of the kids for fear of a confrontation with Dorko. So, she stuck up for them.

Furthermore, the sister of the hostess, especially if the relationship is close, has a slightly different role than that of an ordinary guest. Presumably, Maureen was helping put on the party, especially since one of the guests of honor was her mother. Therefore, she is in the role of semi-hostess.

Given these considerations, the standard rules of host/guest are bent a bit.

Now Miss Manners herself would probably say that Maureen should have gotten Dorko to put out his cigar with an icy stare and a cool remark, but it’s easy for her to come up with that stuff when she’s in front of her typewriter. Who knows what she would do if confronted with Dorko himself!

So, good on you, Maureen! I’m glad you told that idiot off.

And I agree with Queen Tonya–Why did they invite someone that they knew would act like that? Because Dorko may have been offended? Dan may be a good guy, but he needs to learn to put the welfare of his friends and family above that of his softball team.