Dinosaurs. I’d call for the Guinea Pig Cages after that kind of error, usually, but hell…you’re a jock.
All the students already have such microchips, & have already removed them, altered them, & implanted them in other students/staff/faculty/cheerleaders/etc, so often that each person has 2 or 3 in them, & therefore Free Will is preserved when they cancel each other out. <sigh> Back to the old drawing board.
We already have one under the soccer stadium. If you want another, put together a winning Football team, & get contributions from the Alumni. We’re not made of money.
And just where are we supposed to keep the sharks with the frickkin laser beams on their heads, hmmm? They don’t do well in the same aquarium, you know.
Winning Football Team=Alumni Gifts=Money. Then Global Domination. :rolleyes:
Those are handled through Student Recreations, not Athletics.
Wrestling is OK, that’s a sport. But all activities involving whips are restricted to–
I propose a weird liberal arts class, “Creative Sanity”, as an antidote to the above class.
Imagine: You have just finished the last turn of the wrench on your Hybridization Beam, when you find out that your lackey has forgotten a vital piece. The local stores are closed, so in order to bolt him into action, you start off talking about what fools these mortal be. He has seen it all before, and is not sufficiently terrorized to spend all night looking for the part, until you turn to him and say:
“You fucking pecker head! Are you so incompetent that even… etc, etc.”
The teacher could be Andy Dick. Not only would he be the perfect person to act like a dick in public, but no one would mourn him when he finds out that this is not a new movie being produced after all.
(I am sorry if that did not seem funny, but the idea of an Evil Genius using everyday curse words simply tickled my fancy.)
I fear you are labouring under the misapprehension that we offer courses in robbing liquor stores, Mr plaid. Alas, such gutter language is beneath those who seek to tamper with God’s Creation itself. Perhaps your educational requirements would be better met by the Community College Of Petty Theft. I can write you a letter of recommendation, if you wish. In your own blood. With a pen fashioned from your left tibia.
Look, one of your own members spoke like that. Look!
::He point at a large oil painting of Dr. Evil, then when Case Sensitive is distracted, he throws down a smoke bomb, and sneaks out the fire exit.
Far away at his Lair of Boredom, he attempts to teleport a sign onto Case Sensitive’s back. The sign was mean to say “While Case Sensitive’s physiological analyses of movies might be brilliant, Scott’s literal analysis has their points too. So kick me, the wearer of this sign.” Unfortunaly, he instead teleports it to an alternate universe inhibited by werewolf’s, and he gets an inhabitant of that world sent back to him by accident. When last seen, he was running in circles, trying to get away from said werewolf.
{Sigh} Mr plaid, I fear that you are doomed to failure at this college until you learn the crucial difference between “physiological” and “psychological”. Fortunately, our Department Of Unnecessary Surgery is running low on monkeys, so are able to offer a quick hands {or should I say scalpels?} on refresher; once their experiments are finished, drag what’s left of yourself over to the - use your tongue if you find yourself missing a limb or four - Mind-Control Faculty, whose cerebral laser-scrapers and recordings of Beethoven’s 9th should enlighten you as to the latter. And after that, you may polish my jackboots with your eyelids: they should be amply stretched by then.
I am sorry, Scott Plaid is not here right now, but I am sure that as soon as he gets back from being chased through hill and dale (if he does survive) he will get back to you. Presuming you leave a message at the beep.
