Just heard a discussion about this on the radio. Gist: Gillette lied in advertising about how its M3Power blade “lifts and cuts.” Schick called’em on it, sued, and won.
I mean, it’s bad enough consumers gotta sift through shit like:
“Brand X is the best. We can technically say that because no competitor is better or worse, therefore we’re all the same, and therefore we are each of us the best! ergo Brand X is the best.” (can’t get that tune out of my head, “Gillette, the best a man can get”)
“Ford LTD is 700% quieter! What, FTC, you need proof? Oh, you thought we meant quieter than our competitors? No what we *meant[/] was the inside is 700% quieter than the outside.”
“Check your dictionary! Words like ‘helps’ ‘many’ ‘virtually’ and ‘fights’ do not mean what you think they mean - they mean what we think they mean.”
I’m tired of always having to be on guard. My skeptic muscles get tired. For many, skeptic muscles get stuck (i.e. conspiracy theorists, “Everything’s a lie”) Why can’t we have less bullshit and just a little more fucking integrity?
Gillette, shame on you. Madison Ave., shame on you.
Don’t even get me started on political campaign ads… Rrrrrrrrrr!
Subject Title: 5 stars (out of 5). Awsome!
Subject Matter: 4 stars. -1 star because Madison Avenue is such an easy target.
Coding: 2 stars. Sorry, mismatched italics got you there.
Rant Content: 3 stars. It’s OK, but I think it needs a little more meat and vitriol.
I love it when they tell me that, “Nothing works better than Advil (or whatever product.)” To me, that translates as, “You’re better off taking nothing!”
I remember when the two-bladed razors came out, and the commercials had spiffadelic graphics showing the first blade pulling the hair out a bit, then the second would cut it and the hair would snap back to be below the level of the skin. Then, a few years ago, the three-bladed razor came out. The commercials were the same, except now, the second blade wasn’t really cutting the hair like they used to tell us; now, we needed that third blade.
Has anyone gone back over Schick’s old advertising and checked to see if they ever made the same claims they sued Gillette over? And if the claims for the three-bladed razor are overstated, why the hell does Schick slap on a fourth blade?
Bottom line, they’re trying to sell you something. Thank them for spending the money to build sports stadiums and keep your favorite programs on the air, then ignore them and buy whatever the hell you want.
Thirty years ago I picked up a wonderful book called I Can Selll You Anything, written by an ad man about how they constructed their ads. A real eye-opener, and it’s all still accurate. You have to understand that they don’t really lie, but they have specific meanings for words and phrases that sometimes differ from the way everyone else uses them. For example, you can call your product “the best”, because everyone thinks they’re the best. But if you say you’re better than someone else, you better be able to prove it. “Stastically significant” is used as if it means that something is much better than something else, but in fact usually means a slight improvement based solely upon statistics.
the onlt time they get in trouble is if they make a claim that’s outright untrue, without any “weasel words” obscuring the issue. This, apparently, is what Gillette has done.
I have that lady razor with four blades, and I don’t think it cuts as closely as my ancient old men’s Atra or whatever the heck it was with two blades and no safety wires. I do like the safety wires, though - much less blood loss.
When the M3Power came out, they advertised that the vibrations from the battery it contained enabled this extra-close “lift and cut” feature, no really emphasis on the blades themselves. I’ve noticed that the female version, the Venus Vibrance, now advertises that it “increases radiance”. WTH does that mean? I assume they’re saying it exfoliates or something? I was curious why they weren’t using the same advertising gimmick as the M3Power, since it’s the same darned product. I guess now I know.
No one needs more than two blades on a razor. I have the worst beard in the world and I’ve never liked triple blade razors. Nothing but an irritant. It would be nice if the safety strip on the little fuckers lasted longer, though.
My family has gotten used to me yelling at the television - and the radio - “You are an ACTOR and you are being PAID to say this, you don’t actually USE the product.” And “‘Nothing works better’ doesn’t mean your product does!”
And all the women products (hair and skin especially) - has “Vitamin K and Biotina” in it? There is no such thing as Biotina - you just made that up, and we all know it. I also mock the tv when these ridiculous ads come on. Your lotion is going to make all my cellulite go away? You go, you crazy lotion, you.
You know, two months ago I was about to replace my blade because the blue in the strip was practically faded. I had been using the blade for a couple of weeks - about as long as every other time I replaced the blade.
Then, on a hunch, I thought to myself “what if that’s some kind of psychological manipulation designed to have us all run through blades faster than we need to.” So I kept it on and TWO MONTHS LATER I’m using the same blade! I notice no distinguishable difference!
I’ve heard (no cite - pit me!) that some exec at a toothpaste maker had the opening to the tube made a bit wider, hoping it would cause people to use up the contents faster. Apparently it worked, sales went up.
Years ago my girlfriend (at the time) cut open a bottle of hand moisturizer before she was about to throw the “empty” bottle away. The bottle had a convenient hand pump. When cut open, it was revealed that the pump’s tube didn’t reach all the way to the bottom - it was short by a good 5-6 cm! There was still about 15% of the bottle left!
I pretty much tune out all advertising now. I buy products based on how the company treats me and other customers or I have no preference (since most companies do not have huge quality variations for everyday products).
So, do you also remember the SNL parody commercial for the then-fictional three-blade razor? The tagline was “Because you’ll believe anything”. Hillarious, not to mention prescient.
